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02-12-2012, 01:09 PM
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#76
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Ribbed, For Her Pleasure
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Not Chicago
Posts: 16,442
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When will TBE provide guidance as to the proper method for shaving one's kitty?
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02-13-2012, 08:12 AM
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#77
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Just for you cb
[SIZE=2"] Here is a contribution from one of our subscribers at theboardmanexperience.com
My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).
When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her.
She cried for a week . . . but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had. - Gas in car to go to groomers - $4.50
- Cat car carrier - $32.99
- Grooming fee - $80.00
- Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat - Priceless!
[/SIZE]
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02-14-2012, 12:00 PM
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#78
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Another submission from a grateful subscriber
How to Bath the Cat
- Thoroughly clean the toilet.
- Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
- Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
- In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
- Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
- Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
- Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
- The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
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02-14-2012, 12:43 PM
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#79
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Section 119 - Row 6
Posts: 8,360
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lmmfao - boardman, the visual of that exercise is funny.
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02-14-2012, 12:57 PM
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#80
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Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 5, 2010
Location: East of the CPT
Posts: 10,638
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they will beg for it..
after boardman teaches you anyone can do it!
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02-14-2012, 01:31 PM
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#81
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Upgraded Female Account
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
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How to shave your pussy
@ NaN..boardman potty training fail..
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a CAT in the depths of a CATNIP binge.
Hooked on catnip...
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02-14-2012, 08:43 PM
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#82
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El Hombre de la Mancha
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 46,388
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Hunter S Thompson came back as a cat?
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02-14-2012, 09:32 PM
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#83
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Keep in mind that at some point we all come back as cats.
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02-15-2012, 06:35 AM
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#84
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Section 119 - Row 6
Posts: 8,360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boardman
Keep in mind that at some point we all come back as cats.
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Hmmmm. Maybe I already have? A guy called me a pussy the other day........
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02-15-2012, 07:21 AM
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#85
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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See...
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02-15-2012, 11:58 AM
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#86
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Tips for homeless cat owners
Cardboard boxes
Empty cardboard boxes are great for kitties. You can attach some of their toys to it, use them as kitty toy boxes, cut doors in them for a Hideout, or put multiple boxes together and build a BIG Kitty Condo.
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02-15-2012, 12:23 PM
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#87
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Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 5, 2010
Location: East of the CPT
Posts: 10,638
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any advice on ads you can run to attract wayward and lost kitties?
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02-15-2012, 12:52 PM
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#88
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notanewbie
any advice on ads you can run to attract wayward and lost kitties?
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LMAO...I was hoping you could post, as a special guest, an op-ed on that very topic . Maybe even give some pointers on BP ads that really work! Like "Do you need a new cat daddy"
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02-15-2012, 01:26 PM
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#89
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 269367
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: Downtown/ SE Houston-- Outcalls everywhere
Posts: 12,014
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boardman
Which one of you fucktards took a star off of my five star threAD?
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I gave you 5 stars but the awesomometer did not change.
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02-15-2012, 01:53 PM
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#90
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Making Pussy Great Again
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: In your closet, in your head...
Posts: 16,091
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne
I gave you 5 stars but the awesomometer did not change. 
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Thancks for subscribing LD
I thinck the mods set the max at three...They don't want the awesomeness going to my head.
Check out the # of views though. LMMFAO
I'm guessing it has something to do with having the linck in my sig line.
Be sure to read my next installment "how to give a cat a pill".
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