Where are the Classy Girls? Also, Tips for Gentlemen

[~Ynot~]

Originally Posted by Nicolet

Excellent post, TravelingGentleman.
After reading the comments, especially yours OP, I am curious.
I gather from the way you express yourself that you are an established gentleman, meaning you are a man of societal position and financial means, and it did not come to you overnight.
With that in mind, the word 'girl' seems out of place, to my eyes at least. A woman with poise, grace, and intelligence seems more fitting to the tone of your post.
If I may suggest, if you want to find a companion here that is equal to your needs and desires, research a lady that interests you. Read all you can about her, and talk to her. Between your research, and the feeling you get speaking to her is positive, take it from there.
There are some wonderful women here, and in Houston. Best wishes to you.

Well said..

[Sitara Devi]

Skimming through this post something that inspired me was the idea of a separate rate for a "meet and greet" non-play date. I think this is a great idea for gents who might want to meet me but are not sure how far they want to take the date initially. I would love to hear how other ladies offer such a date and rates/hours around doing this?

[Guest072015-2]

Originally Posted by Sitara Devi

Skimming through this post something that inspired me was the idea of a separate rate for a "meet and greet" non-play date. I think this is a great idea for gents who might want to meet me but are not sure how far they want to take the date initially. I would love to hear how other ladies offer such a date and rates/hours around doing this?

I offer a social hour rate which is half of my regular hourly rate.

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by Sitara Devi

Skimming through this post something that inspired me was the idea of a separate rate for a "meet and greet" non-play date. I think this is a great idea for gents who might want to meet me but are not sure how far they want to take the date initially. I would love to hear how other ladies offer such a date and rates/hours around doing this?

I wish more ladies would do this! I've been asking around with various providers, and have been quoted a variety of things from:

-No change from the existing rate
-$75 per hour less than their existing rate
-Specialty packages that include social functions (one of which I've booked, and am awaiting).

I think I would highly encourage you to have offerings for social events. If a guy wants to buy you dinner, take you to a movie, and NOTHING ELSE....have a rate for that. How much do you want to charge someone who wants to wine and dine you, with no expectations? Because a gentleman can wine and dine people every night without ever having to pay for the privilege - but he'll pay for the privilege of doing it with a beautiful, intelligent woman - which is where providers should be able to find a niche market.

There are also packages that various providers offer that encompass social time along with playtime - which...if you cut through chivalry, is ultimately what a fantastic date is. Meeting someone, socializing, dinner, a spark and a connection - and future repetitions.

No one needs to pay $150-500 an hour to get off. If it's that simple, a guy can grab his dick and double click for free. But paying for a pleasant memory of a rewarding evening - that's worthwhile.

Separate yourself from the masses - forget physical gratification, and consider emotional gratification. The physical gratification is why our species propagates, but the emotional gratification is why we choose to spend time with people.

[Mr. Green Jeans]

I agree with much of what 'TheTravelingGentleman" said. Because of time constraints, there are just too many points to opine. First, I must say, it would be most welcomed and extremely refreshing to meet a lady for lunch, a drink etc with no commitments necessary to see how well both would get along. I can see from the ladies perspective, this potentially, could be an enormous waste of time. Now let's be honest, many providers post pictures that are quite dated, air brushed, and generally quite misleading What thetravelinggentleman is looking for, I suspect, is available rarely and one would probably need an equally rare bank roll.

I must say however to judge a gentleman by the number of tailored suits and ties he has has is a joke. I wore a suit every business day for many years and many of the gentleman (who also wore ties and knew how to tie them were anything but gentleman). Talk about judging a book by its cover. The reference of GS is probably only known to those with a degree of financial sophistication and those folks, even though they wear the expensive suits, pretty much have destroyed our economic system multiple times. Gentleman, because of suits and ties, excuse me while I hurl.

A gentleman is not judged by the clothing he wears, nor the tips he leaves, nor the number of chefs he compliments, nor the dollar donations he makes to his place of worship nor the number of collectible cars he owns or yachts in the harbor. Just ask those charlatans that have introduced ponzi schemes and took the hard earned dollars of honest working folks. How about Bernie Madoff? He met those gentlemanly requirements in spades. Soft spoken, polite, disarming and all. And as some have commented here, a gentleman with something to lose wouldn't consider posting a facial shot in this forum. With that said, wouldn't it be nice, if we could act like gentleman and ladies? It sure sounds idealistic, though not realistic in a forum such as this.

[Gfe Juliette]

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you. It is very refreshing to know that there are gentlemen out there such as yourself who understands some of our issues that we have to deal with on a daily basis in order to stay safe.

Hugs,
Juliette

Originally Posted by Old-T

OK, I have been watching where this has been going and I think it is time to comment.

Sir, I think some of what you say is reasonable—no, more than reasonable. There is a definite part of this community that sees things in a similar light as far as the underlying attitude/atmosphere. Longer dates, more interaction at a mental level. Smiles, flirting, sharing some of the real person behind the masks on both sides. Interest in travel, dining, current events, science, art, etc. Someone I would be proud to introduce to friends or family because she is a quality lady. Someone I would find fascinating for hours or days on end. These are all exactly the qualities I seek, and celebrate when I find. Just realize that is not what man

However, I think there are some aspects of what you say that do not quite fit. The biggest underlying concern I have is the issue of building trust over time—or more correctly, your seeming to miss that point. Issues of posting face pictures, asking for references (or doing other screening), or going away with someone for a week’s cruise all deal first and foremost with safety and trust.

You generally have resources available to you to research/screen a lady before contacting her. Reviews, PMs to other gentlemen who have met her. You can get a sense of her personality by her web site—if she has built a good website. As a result, YOU have a reasonable idea if SHE is someone you would be interested in, and feel safe with. (If you have those resources available, and you choose not to use them—then that is on you, and I would say it is foolish).

Generally the lady has no such assurances about you. And sadly, while you might be a complete gentleman, there are men out there who dress in nice suits, can smile in public places, yet are anything but safe in private. In essence you are asking a lady to put her in a very vulnerable position with you based upon your say so and how nice you behave in a public setting. Unfortunately there are far too many stories out there that scream against a lady doing that. And fortunately most ladies have learned from the mistakes of others.

Real examples from ladies I know (not all these happened to them, but no more than once removed, i.e. to someone they personally know):

--A lady agreed to go to Hawaii with a man, all expenses paid and an agreed upon fee that was much less than her regular rate—much less. The first night there was no-sleep, all sex. The next morning he went to his conference, he gave her $200 to go shopping (he had paid for the tickets, but had not paid her yet). While she was out he changed the room keys (she was not on the room reservation), cancelled her return ticket, and left her stranded in Hawaii. Needless to say, he never paid her either, other than the $200.

--Many ladies can tell you about “private” photos, often showing the face they blurred on their web site, winding up on other peoples web sites, or posted on boards similar to this one. For a lady with family, a primary job, or who wants to leave this occupation behind after it has served her purposes, that is a serious risk. Why don’t you use YOUR face picture as your avatar on here? They have the same real issues. I know two ladies who lost custody of their children because “private” phots of their faces linking them to escorting became public against their wishes and by guys who gave all sorts of verbal promises. Not every blackmailer or bragging machismo creep carries a warning sign around their neck.

--I have been to funerals and to visit ladies in ERs because they were beaten by “nice guys”. Typically (but not always) the guy had sweet talked his way past her normal screening—insisting that he was a “safe gentleman”, and she could trust him.

--Lastly, while you are correct there are some ladies who would jump at the chance to take some of the trips you describe, the reality is many ladies, even the well dressed, well spoken, educated, “classy” ones work far less than guys want to believe, make far less, and cannot financially afford to take a week off and travel—even if the travel itself is free.

Personally, had I the resources I would spend a large part of my time traveling with a beautiful, fascinating companion at my side and sharing my room. I have done so on rare occasions, including a two week cruise/trip to Alaska with a very dear lady, as well as several nice weekends. But never on a first date—only after we had become comfortable with each other. Trust is not something to be decreed—trust is earned and built up over time.

I commend you on your view, but I think you are overlooking some of the realities that are necessary to get there. Thank you for bringing up the topic, and I wish you success in finding what you are looking for.

[Nicolet]

I also offer a social rate.

Edited to say: Thank you, ~Ynot~

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by Mr. Green Jeans

I must say however to judge a gentleman by the number of tailored suits and ties he has has is a joke.

Come now - don't focus on the first of 14-15 points on gentlemanly behavior. My OP didn't suggest that a gentleman be judged by the number of tailored suits and ties he has.

It *did* say that a gentleman possesses sophistication, manners - and among MANY other things - has a suit and tie. Google "Gentleman" and switch to google images. Look at the results you see. Now google "Elegant lady" and do the same.

Do you see my point? Do you any dick shots, ass shots? A man can be nice, but it doesn't make him a gentleman. A woman can be nice but it doesn't make her an elegant lady.

Originally Posted by Mr. Green Jeans

a gentleman with something to lose wouldn't consider posting a facial shot in this forum.

And a lady need never post a photo of herself that is compromising or shameful in any fashion. From a google search of "elegant lady" - Linky here in case the picture doesn't work right.



A lady can have a tasteful photo or three taken that show nothing inappropriate, and showcase them. I see that photo, and if it were accompanied by a description along the lines of "Tasteful dinner companion, and so much more..." That's it.

I agree that girls/women/hookers SHOULD hide their faces if they're posting pictures of their womanly parts. Thus this thread came to be - where are the ladies? Some have been pointed out to me, and I have a date! Many people who are neither ladies nor gentlemen have had their say - and while they have perfectly valid concerns for their own lifestyle and clientele...this is the Diamonds and Tuxedos forum.

Ladies with diamonds, gentlemen with tuxedos. Not scruffy johns who arrange cheap sex on the internet, and painted whores who post pictures of their nether regions.

[sensualsanaa]

Traveling Gent, I hear what you are seeing. Genuinely, I do. However the cons of posting a recognizable face photo in this line of work, whether your gallery is full of clothed photos or lingerie photos, regardless of how coy you play with disguising what is really going to happen in the bedroom between two consenting adults will still arouse disdain and misfortune if that innocuous face photo lands in the hands of an employer, civic member of our community or church. The reality is, even if all of our photos are rated G being recognized as someone who dabbled in sex work is not a risk that a lot of us wish to take.

You have said a number of times that you are often approached while you are out at dinner by people who know you personally. What if by some chance the lovely lady you've opted to have dinner with who did decide to show her face on all of her advertisements is recognized while she is with you? What if someone realized "Oh my goodness! That is the girl that's been on the front page of Eros! they just ran a news story on that terrible website last night and I saw her! He's here with an escort!" That totally derails your desire to fly under the radar. Even G-rated photos on an x-rated website can stir a commotion.

On another note: I do like many of the points you've made here. I've personally had a social hour only date for a while and have offered a clock free option which allows us time to go out and about, get familiar enjoy our evening and head home for more fun without worrying about how much time has passed. I've found it is my favorite options and mirrors a more traditional dating experience than anything else. I am also waiting patiently to shoot more photos of me wearing a nice dinner dress or evening wear to add to my showcase and website and will certainly remember to smile!

[TravelingGentleman]

Originally Posted by sensualsanaa

You have said a number of times that you are often approached while you are out at dinner by people who know you personally. What if by some chance the lovely lady you've opted to have dinner with who did decide to show her face on all of her advertisements is recognized while she is with you? What if someone realized "Oh my goodness! That is the girl that's been on the front page of Eros! they just ran a news story on that terrible website last night and I saw her! He's here with an escort!" That totally derails your desire to fly under the radar. Even G-rated photos on an x-rated website can stir a commotion.

Interesting point - and one that I hadn't considered before. Also one that I agree with, and I hereby change my opinion on the matter. o.O

[Luvs2Purrr]

I use to offer a "Meet & Greet". Basically for a half hour of conversation, meeting and getting to know one's personality for $40. In Katy there is a great little wine bar here that I would often meet such gentlemen. Nothing like great conversation over a nice glass of wine in a great atmosphere. Quiet, low lights...etc. But not many gentlemen wanted a meet & greet. Seems that most just want to get straight to bcd.

But a Meet & Greet is always on the table. Just have to ask. I'm all for making a gentlemen feel more comfortable and at ease. When you are on a board such as Eccie. It is truly hard to know what one's personality is like.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

Interesting point - and one that I hadn't considered before. Also one that I agree with, and I hereby change my opinion on the matter. o.O

I have never had that happen to me--at least as far as I know--but on a number of occasions I have had an acquaintance come up to me and my date. It can be potentially troublesome if we have not thought about a basic cover story. Fortunately most who know me understand that I have a lot of different work-related clients and not all of them can be talked about in public. But it is best to know how either of us should introduce the other if backed into a corner.

The best cover story is the real one--but knowing enough real information about each other to do so takes a long time to build that level of trust.

Originally Posted by Luvs2Purrr

I use to offer a "Meet & Greet". Basically for a half hour of conversation, meeting and getting to know one's personality for $40. In Katy there is a great little wine bar here that I would often meet such gentlemen. Nothing like great conversation over a nice glass of wine in a great atmosphere. Quiet, low lights...etc. But not many gentlemen wanted a meet & greet. Seems that most just want to get straight to bcd.

But a Meet & Greet is always on the table. Just have to ask. I'm all for making a gentlemen feel more comfortable and at ease. When you are on a board such as Eccie. It is truly hard to know what one's personality is like.

Those guys just don't understand what they are missing. Their loss.

[Luvs2Purrr]

Muah...Old-T

[5T3V3]

Originally Posted by thebuffmantraples

Welcome to eccie.
You are a newbie get over it and admit it a thousand times please.

Follow your own advice about listening and striving to understand first....then with experience restate your diatrible.

When it comes to safety, security, and discretion never forget this is not Neverland for either party!

Once deemed safe an found your niche then by all means this is Neverland, Shangri LA and LA DI Da.

I sense you would like to skip the being a newbie thing, experience, something not to be missed!
Again welcome to hobbyland bro.

Some of us Gentlemen know what we like, how to get what we want, and nothing of being a gentlemen has to fit your definition stated. Grow up open your mind. This is a new age, everyday, and some Gents don't have to fit your definitions obviously.

To me a Gentleman doesn't complain! He just fixes or readjust to the task at hand. You seem to be complaining........about your foibles so far? And I did read everything. To each his/her own view.

Have a great day.

Not one I would define as a Gentleman, but as times change so do definitions perhaps his is from a newer dictionary. And, just as age is required for fine wine, so to youth requires age to find wisdom.

Originally Posted by Sitara Devi

Skimming through this post something that inspired me was the idea of a separate rate for a "meet and greet" non-play date. I think this is a great idea for gents who might want to meet me but are not sure how far they want to take the date initially. I would love to hear how other ladies offer such a date and rates/hours around doing this?

Capital Idea ... Capital! It also becomes a good idea if say I want to take a companion to the Rodeo for 4 hours and then back to my room for an hour of BCD.

Originally Posted by Alexie Amor

I offer a social hour rate which is half of my regular hourly rate.

Certainly sounds fair. Is that rate +expenses or are you paying for your own goodies out of the rate? I know if I have to ask I can't afford you

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

I wish more ladies would do this! I've been asking around with various providers, and have been quoted a variety of things from:

-No change from the existing rate
-$75 per hour less than their existing rate
-Specialty packages that include social functions (one of which I've booked, and am awaiting).

I think I would highly encourage you to have offerings for social events. If a guy wants to buy you dinner, take you to a movie, and NOTHING ELSE....have a rate for that. How much do you want to charge someone who wants to wine and dine you, with no expectations? Because a gentleman can wine and dine people every night without ever having to pay for the privilege - but he'll pay for the privilege of doing it with a beautiful, intelligent woman - which is where providers should be able to find a niche market.

There are also packages that various providers offer that encompass social time along with playtime - which...if you cut through chivalry, is ultimately what a fantastic date is. Meeting someone, socializing, dinner, a spark and a connection - and future repetitions.

No one needs to pay $150-500 an hour to get off. If it's that simple, a guy can grab his dick and double click for free. But paying for a pleasant memory of a rewarding evening - that's worthwhile.

Separate yourself from the masses - forget physical gratification, and consider emotional gratification. The physical gratification is why our species propagates, but the emotional gratification is why we choose to spend time with people.

I see both sides to this point. On the no change side, the lady has an opportunity cost to consider. I have seen that as the Class of the Lady grows, so do her time constrains, so working at half rate even void of physical intimacy is still working. Kind of like asking a Lawyer to bill you 1/2 rate for a dinner meeting as opposed to full rate for an office meeting. Also, as the menu of potential activities expands I see safety issues potentially creeping back in - dark parking lots at movies, are you meeting separately or publicly only, if you move to second location who's car to take etc. ...

But I am sure the first meeting would likely be dinner in a public restaurant arrive separately, leave separately with well light parking lot on a busy street, and the rest I assume would be for later ideas.

Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

Do you see my point? Do you any dick shots, ass shots? A man can be nice, but it doesn't make him a gentleman. A woman can be nice but it doesn't make her an elegant lady.



And a lady need never post a photo of herself that is compromising or shameful in any fashion. From a google search of "elegant lady" - Linky here in case the picture doesn't work right.



A lady can have a tasteful photo or three taken that show nothing inappropriate, and showcase them. I see that photo, and if it were accompanied by a description along the lines of "Tasteful dinner companion, and so much more..." That's it.

I agree that girls/women/hookers SHOULD hide their faces if they're posting pictures of their womanly parts. Thus this thread came to be - where are the ladies? Some have been pointed out to me, and I have a date! Many people who are neither ladies nor gentlemen have had their say - and while they have perfectly valid concerns for their own lifestyle and clientele...this is the Diamonds and Tuxedos forum.

Ladies with diamonds, gentlemen with tuxedos. Not scruffy johns who arrange cheap sex on the internet, and painted whores who post pictures of their nether regions.

While I agree with you that she should have none sexual photos available to share so you can see her face/looks, I don't think sharing them via this venue regardless of how benign is wise if anonymity is the key factor. The purpose of this website is obvious to all.

If single I suggest a youtube video that is what I call a personality video. Like a Q & A one might do for a dating site done as a faked interview. If seen by acquaintances publicly, it could be played off as something thing done on a lark for a dating website. And it would show how you look and carry yourself and your style. The fake name could also be easily explained as being a cautious dater. If married or dating steady, it would be much harder to do - but then I would think this is a small percentage of ladies here. You could also set up a dating profile on match.com and not here, fake name same excuse ... lots of weirdoes ... the bad news is most of you ladies would get tons of date requests and dick pictures ... what can I say we can't all be gentlemen.

A hidden website is also an option, but still holds risks higher than the video idea IMHO.

[Guest062217]

TG - do some research my friend..

Here you go..
http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=909242