Provider having a signifigant other

[KenMonk]

The first thing about this hobby is that everyone lies. Ladies use fake names, gents use fake names, guys don't freely tell others what they really do for a living, etc... Ladies lie about their age, weight, relationship status, living arrangements. etc... Nearly everyone has a secondary phone, a burner, or an app.

Of course I am generalizing and there are exceptions to every rule, but it also generally isn't meant out of malice, its simply to protect one's self.

Meat made a lot of excellent points and offered sound advice.

Good luck.

[simpleman76]

All of you made very good points and offered great things to consider and think about.

As for the idea that I am the S.O. or close to them I would say I am the ex S.O. but there is no axe to grind, or malice in having the discussion. A relationship doesn't work out due to the parties that are in it not necessarily as a result of an outside influence.

At the same time, there are not a lot of people that an individual can discuss the hobby with openly without receiving some sort of criticism or negative feedback, I figured at least on here everyone knew what the deal was.

As for the statement of moving on and being a success without her, well I think there are varying degrees of success and I would point out that just because I guy is dating a provider and just because she has the ability to make a lot of money if she chooses that does not immediately mean that he is mooching off her or is not successful himself. Even in this type of relationship it is a partnership and there is give and take just as in RL.

[Georgeherman29]

I've dated a provider before. I knew about it before starting the relationship, probably made it easier for both of us as there was never a need to have that uncomfortable "talk". Relationship died of natural causes unrelated to the hobby. Not the most conventional relationship I was ever in, but wasn't one I regretted either.

[AllThisMeat]

Originally Posted by simpleman76

As for the statement of moving on and being a success without her, well I think there are varying degrees of success and I would point out that just because I guy is dating a provider and just because she has the ability to make a lot of money if she chooses that does not immediately mean that he is mooching off her or is not successful himself. Even in this type of relationship it is a partnership and there is give and take just as in RL.

I did not mean to imply that you are not successful already... nor that you were a mooch... however, if you had bad feelings towards her and your relationship with her, I find that being successful in your life is the best revenge one could have.

Cheers.

[JRLawrence]

Originally Posted by Soft8

What he Said.
What do you think if the Provider got Pregnant by a Client, what would the SO do then?

If the guy is married to the lady, it used to be that, any child was legally his and he had to pay to raise the child.

I think much of that is still in effect.

JR

[simpleman76]

Originally Posted by Georgeherman29

I've dated a provider before. I knew about it before starting the relationship, probably made it easier for both of us as there was never a need to have that uncomfortable "talk". Relationship died of natural causes unrelated to the hobby. Not the most conventional relationship I was ever in, but wasn't one I regretted either.

Yes, ours too died of natural causes, although possibly sped up due to the hobby, natural all the same.

Originally Posted by AllThisMeat

I did not mean to imply that you are not successful already... nor that you were a mooch... however, if you had bad feelings towards her and your relationship with her, I find that being successful in your life is the best revenge one could have.

Cheers.

No bad feelings towards her or even her clients. Really just difficult to explain or talk to anyone in real life about the real issues without risking exposing her or someone else and I don't hold enough ill will to do that.

Originally Posted by JRLawrence

If the guy is married to the lady, it used to be that, any child was legally his and he had to pay to raise the child.

I think much of that is still in effect.

Been there done that one too, not with a provider but the children are innocent and deserve to be taken care of. Being adopted myself, I sometimes wish I hadn't known until I was older if at all. A child having to hear that their birth father or sperm donor wanted nothing to do with them still has a way of affecting a child's personal development and emotional development regardless of if someone else steps in. The idea of rejection is still there.

JR

[BigMikeinKC]

Originally Posted by CaptainKaos

I can't disagree there. But I can offer some considerations:

1.) The only normal people you know are those you don't know very well. In most cases, everyone close to you seems nuts to you. Therefore, when most people talk about their SO, they are usually bitching about them.

I don't know about that. Whenever I hit on a gal in a bar, she either tells me she's happily married or in a great relationship.