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Old 09-30-2012, 12:11 AM   #16
Calista_Syn
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No it is a business pure and simple. Anyone who thinks it is not is a fool. You can be friendly but no friends are made in business. When that happens your open to exploitation pure and simple. And that goes both ways.

What I hate to see is some poor guy suckered into the whole allure that "she's my friend" or "she would date me in real life if I wasn't married" bullshit. That is ridicululous right there. And weak. It is just a business after all...
Perhaps for you m'dear, and I'm not trying to say it's not. Yet, I must strongly, and with conviction disagree with you. I have, in fact, made some very good friends along the way. not very many mind you, but there are a few, whom are openly invited to thanksgiving dinner as "friends from work" to the rest of the attendees. I dare say, my feelings reach beyond friendship, and into a kind of love. for example, I would be at the hospital if they fell ill, send a gift if tragedy struck, and be there as a shoulder if they were heart broken. "Friends with benefits" suites it best I think. Saying that you don't make friends in business is quite narrow minded..Unless you're working at a very hostile place, you always end up building relationships at work. When your work deals with intimacy, more so. You, dear man, sound so very jaded, and I'm so sorry.

Exploitation indeed happens, on both parts, a lot more than I'd like to admit; but it doesn't stand true to every person. Human beings, by nature, are well intended. Only the tainted and corrupt end up trying to use you, or take your kindness for weakness. I assure you, there are women, like myself, who actually give of themselves far beyond opening their legs and letting a dick in. A true courtesan is more than a blow up doll, she is a therapist, a haven, and indeed, a friend.

The thing is, when you fuck "warm holes", yes, it tends to be just a cold business transaction. When you interact with a woman, esspecially over long periods of time, the natural chemicals and endorphins released by physical encounters foster a bond. You just can't fight science and nature. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't soulless capsules, we have feelings too!

Now, about the whole "she's going to marry me thing".. I personally, feel that is cruel. No decent woman would manipulate another human being into such a torment. I know of at least 2 providers whom are currently retired, and living out their lives with men who were previous clients. It does happen.
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Old 09-30-2012, 12:14 AM   #17
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I am sure you are referring to Zombies!!

Smooch!

Lea
But of course!! ... As long as they eat more than brains right?
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Old 09-30-2012, 03:38 AM   #18
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Perhaps for you m'dear, and I'm not trying to say it's not. Yet, I must strongly, and with conviction disagree with you. I have, in fact, made some very good friends along the way. not very many mind you, but there are a few, whom are openly invited to thanksgiving dinner as "friends from work" to the rest of the attendees. I dare say, my feelings reach beyond friendship, and into a kind of love. for example, I would be at the hospital if they fell ill, send a gift if tragedy struck, and be there as a shoulder if they were heart broken. "Friends with benefits" suites it best I think. Saying that you don't make friends in business is quite narrow minded..Unless you're working at a very hostile place, you always end up building relationships at work. When your work deals with intimacy, more so. You, dear man, sound so very jaded, and I'm so sorry. .
No hostile work place. I treat my people with respect (once they earn it) and have loyalty beyond my imagination. Also helps that no one makes less that 70k a year. Even the lady who answers the phones and does all the filing does rather well if you consider her job and what I pay her. But that also leads to employee retention and if memory serves me correctly the average employee has been with me 10 years. The issue is when you make friends with other people inside this business I am in they will exploit it in a heartbeat. Just the nature of the beast. So jaded no.. Realist yes.

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Originally Posted by Calista_Syn View Post
Exploitation indeed happens, on both parts, a lot more than I'd like to admit; but it doesn't stand true to every person. Human beings, by nature, are well intended. Only the tainted and corrupt end up trying to use you, or take your kindness for weakness. I assure you, there are women, like myself, who actually give of themselves far beyond opening their legs and letting a dick in. A true courtesan is more than a blow up doll, she is a therapist, a haven, and indeed, a friend. .
That is the issue. For me it is just sex. Nothing more nothing less. I never believed in shrinks because it isn't as ironclad as the lawyer client relationship. But you also know zero about my background. If you did you would maybe understand why in my office to this day there is a framed and matted verse which states "Three people can keep a secret if two are dead". That is a reminder that the only one you can really trust is yourself.

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Originally Posted by Calista_Syn View Post
The thing is, when you fuck "warm holes", yes, it tends to be just a cold business transaction. When you interact with a woman, esspecially over long periods of time, the natural chemicals and endorphins released by physical encounters foster a bond. You just can't fight science and nature. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't soulless capsules, we have feelings too! .
I just don't bond.. Been married and divorced 3 times. Out of those I only "bonded" with the first wife. That was my once in a lifetime thing. No need to try and fool myself that it will ever happen again. After that it just is not in me anymore.

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Now, about the whole "she's going to marry me thing".. I personally, feel that is cruel. No decent woman would manipulate another human being into such a torment. I know of at least 2 providers whom are currently retired, and living out their lives with men who were previous clients. It does happen.
Thus everyone is different. Some people can develop feelings where others cannot. I just happen to be realist enough to know after the once in a lifetime thing there is no use in even trying. Yeah the first five years after were hard but like most things it got eaiser with time and now is just programed into my nature.

And for some strange reason people say I am easy to talk to. Guess it is because I am detatched and don't get involved on an emotional level at all. Which I guess is why I was so good at what I did during and after college and why I am so good at my "legit" business now. And yes I have done some really shitty things in my past but past is past.. I am quite content with the way things are now days. So don't feel sorry for me. I'm living life as I want to and enjoying the holy hell out of every second of it.
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Old 09-30-2012, 10:54 AM   #19
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Lea, just a side note. The reason I referred to her as a MILF was because she told me she had 2 children. I was just making a point that just "going through the motions like a robot" is not just limited to very young providers. You are definately not in trouble. lol
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Old 09-30-2012, 02:21 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by bladtinzu View Post
No it is a business pure and simple. Anyone who thinks it is not is a fool. You can be friendly but no friends are made in business. When that happens your open to exploitation pure and simple. And that goes both ways.
I beg to differ.
I've had a friendship-type relationship with a couple of providers.
One of them, in fact, had her own "civvie" business and I invited her to join a small biz group I was a member of...and she did. We occasionally met for lunch, talked about our lives, trusted each other.

It's all in the mindset and the people involved.
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Old 09-30-2012, 04:44 PM   #21
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I beg to differ.
I've had a friendship-type relationship with a couple of providers.
One of them, in fact, had her own "civvie" business and I invited her to join a small biz group I was a member of...and she did. We occasionally met for lunch, talked about our lives, trusted each other.

It's all in the mindset and the people involved.

Mine is trust no one.. Once you do you open yourself up to failure. Failure is never an option..
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Old 09-30-2012, 05:12 PM   #22
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Lea, just a side note. The reason I referred to her as a MILF was because she told me she had 2 children. I was just making a point that just "going through the motions like a robot" is not just limited to very young providers. You are definately not in trouble. lol
I was just having a little fun... if 32 was a MILF then I was a GMILF or a ROMILF (really old milf)!! LOL

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Old 09-30-2012, 05:14 PM   #23
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I beg to differ.
I've had a friendship-type relationship with a couple of providers.
One of them, in fact, had her own "civvie" business and I invited her to join a small biz group I was a member of...and she did. We occasionally met for lunch, talked about our lives, trusted each other.
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Originally Posted by bladtinzu View Post
Mine is trust no one.. Once you do you open yourself up to failure. Failure is never an option..
To me and maybe a number of other providers... both of you are right and neither is wrong... it is just who you are. (Of course I don't expect y'all to agree with my statement) That's why a successful provider has to be able to tell which one she is dealing with!

Smooch!

Lea
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:35 PM   #24
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I've got the impression some (many?) of the young providers aren't too keen about seeing "mature" men .... but I tend to stick with mature providers. They seem to be MUCH better in terms of attitude.

Young ladies: develop your acting skills.
I am a young provider and I actually prefer "mature" men. I have had some bad altercations with the young ones. As far as "mature providers being MUCH better in terms of attitude" I feel that is an uninformed statement. It all depends on the provider not the age.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:04 PM   #25
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Lea. You would be a Cougar cub. If you even fall in that category. I saw a story on the Cougar National Convention and they say its for 50+.
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Old 09-30-2012, 08:02 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Lea Madisson View Post
To me and maybe a number of other providers... both of you are right and neither is wrong... it is just who you are. (Of course I don't expect y'all to agree with my statement) That's why a successful provider has to be able to tell which one she is dealing with!

Smooch!

Lea
She gets it very well... Someone give this lady a cookie or sweet of her choice..
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Old 09-30-2012, 09:12 PM   #27
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Mine is trust no one.. Once you do you open yourself up to failure. Failure is never an option..
Trust NO one?
What sort of failure?
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Old 10-01-2012, 12:44 AM   #28
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Trust NO one?
What sort of failure?
No one..

And any sort
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Old 10-01-2012, 09:24 AM   #29
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Trust NO one? "Completely"
What sort of failure? Heartbreak, disappointment, etc.
I trust my mother more than anyone on the planet, but under duress anyone is capable of of betrayal. I know it sounds sick, but hey it happens everyday to people that trusted that dear someone "completely."
Trust is so valuable that it should be measured and doled out according to the relationship, i.e., family, friend, co-worker, employee, employer, provider, etc....
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:04 PM   #30
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"Trust" - fear that somebody will tell somebody else what you did or said.

Because then you might be judged or ostracized.
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