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tanman3210 · 06-17-2011, 06:04 PM

So funny!!!!!

ithyphallicus · 06-17-2011, 07:34 PM

It had something to do with FUMA...

Braveheart · 06-18-2011, 09:11 AM

Ew. I thought I could stomach a quick read of this thread. Now I just lost breakfast all over my keyboard. It was a combination of several things the ladies said...

Oh, and the time I nosed down there and had to pull out some toilet paper from her cooch to get to the goods! (Truth is that I didn't continue!)

My, the memories.

safire_sweet · 06-18-2011, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braveheart

Ew. I thought I could stomach a quick read of this thread. Now I just lost breakfast all over my keyboard. It was a combination of several things the ladies said...

Oh, and the time I nosed down there and had to pull out some toilet paper from her cooch to get to the goods! (Truth is that I didn't continue!)

My, the memories.

kend61 · 06-18-2011, 09:38 AM

Its funny someone mentioned Seattle. I had similar experience. Was suppose to fly to Japan for my next duty station but flight cancelled. So was at hotel and horny. So called a service asked for a blonade but got a latina(very pretty) so I was good. Anyway we get naked put cover on and have fun. I feel wet all of a sudden and look down and im all red. Must be something about those Seattle girls. She wasn't even embarrassed she just asked me if I still wanted a happy ending lol

Guest060312 · 06-18-2011, 12:00 PM

Not a hobby session, but I was banging the hell out of a civie chick once and Aunt Flo decided to pop in for surprise visit. It looked like something out of a horror movie when I finally climbed off and saw what had occurred! I originally though I had done some damage to the poor girl. I eventually recovered from my psychological trauma.

ArtieLange · 06-18-2011, 02:32 PM

Wow, I have been so nervous to have my first hobby experience.....until now. lol.

rcg001 · 06-18-2011, 03:55 PM

I had a session with a provider and she excused herself to go to the bathroom, but she did not close the door and I could see her sitting on the toilet taking a piss. What was worse that this is she was staring at me the entire time. I assumed that she did not want to close the door in case I might rob her or something like that. I have not been back.

ItalianaPrincess · 06-20-2011, 09:39 AM

Rcg001 - Hey, at least she wasn't STANDING UP!! Omg, now THAT would've been scary! LOL

angusranch · 06-20-2011, 10:17 AM

Princess, I think I'd Love to watch you take a piss!! lol

Sleepy363 · 06-20-2011, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcg001

I had a session with a provider and she excused herself to go to the bathroom, but she did not close the door and I could see her sitting on the toilet taking a piss. What was worse that this is she was staring at me the entire time. I assumed that she did not want to close the door in case I might rob her or something like that. I have not been back.

yeah I had a provider take a dump with the door open and was talking to me the whole time while she was doing it. I guess that's the TRUE girlfriend experience.

cookie man · 06-20-2011, 06:13 PM

Well this was more bazaar than gross I think.

I meet the lady for a session. We visit a bit then I get comfortable for a BBBJ. She straddles me, takes out her teeth, puts them on the table, gives me a gum job, reaches over puts her teeth back in, and then starts cowgirl. Yep she was one of those Backpage specials.

People have asked me "how was it", and all I can say is "that it didn't suck".

argus256 · 06-20-2011, 06:19 PM

got a nice fart blast in my face during doggie once... that so far has been my worst experience.

ive been lucky apparently, heh

and those that squirt and dont warn that they are a squirter, to those of us that are not used to the sort of thing... yeah we basically feel peed on, not cool!

roxy28 · 06-20-2011, 06:47 PM

I had a client come over, and after the session I hear his stomach making this god aweful noise, he then bolts to the bathroom apologizing, says he has the serious poops! This guy was on the toilet for like 20 minutes. he had some serious diarhea. gross! my bathroom stank for a whole day and I think he was embarrassed because he never came back again

The Proper Stranger · 06-20-2011, 10:45 PM

Judging by the other responses to this thread, it looks like I've gotten off lucky over the years, but here's mine:

The time I earned my redwings, she apparently started her period mid-cowgirl. Being a natural redhead, with a bit of a lobsteriffic "tan" then, I didn't notice the lower half of my torso was covered in blood 'til I hopped in the shower and saw red water circling the drain. Definitely a bit of a shock to me at the time.

Second place goes to a generic "dear God the smell" that inspired me to set a minimum age requirement and dig a little deeper when picking someone to see.

And an honorable mention to the dog who swiped my boxers and chewed them to slobbery rags while I was playing with his mommy.