Funniest Hobby Story

[DallasRain]

I had a gent that lived with his mom all his life....he was 65 and a bachelor......she had died a few years before we met..........so he still lived in the house.I was riding his face hot & heavy when his headboard broke off and fell behind the bed and made the bed push out from the wall,causing me to roll off his face onto the floor.....I was not hurt thank god.but almost died from laughing when he told me that it was ok cause it was his mothers bed! eeekkkkk freaky!!!!!!

[hotrix1]

Why do you find Annie so interesting you have to comment about her allergies to soap? She bathes with hypo-allergenic bodywash, not soap. Nothing funny about that.

How about a funny hobby story from instead? After all we're trying to stay on topic in this thread. Why don't you give it a try for a change?

And I'll sit back with the popcorn. No butter from gimme-that though.

[Adaline]

So me and Alaina were in the middle of a doubles session, while she is riding his face and I'm fucking him with big blue... well I needed a little more lube so I asked her to grab it off the table since the gent was way to busy getting his rocks off and she ended up knocking over a bottle of RED WINE onto his WHITE carpet as she had an orgasm..... holy hell... we both freaked out, yet the gent just yelled "I don't wanna stop, don't stop, keep going"
To this day we don't know if he got it out or replaced the carpet lol

[captjackno]

Lol....carpet replaced. That's funny. Proof that when blood is in the penis, the brain cannot function lol

[OldGent]

My first experience with a provider wasn't intentional. I was 25 and working for a security firm that provided armed response teams that contracted with the local police, but during slow times between contracts we would work security at local establishments. One of them was a string of porn shops in the bad part of town. Well I was on duty at one one bitterly cold winter night. The owners would make us lunch and let us eat it in one of the porn booths to get warm. It was late at night and I'm warm in a booth eating and watching cheap 80's porn loops when I notice a baseball sized whole in the booth wall next to me. I was young kid from a farming town working in a major urban area. What the fuck do I know about holes. I figure its some type of venting. Well I am eating and watching the crap on the screen, when I hear tap tap. I look over and the is a set of long painted finger nails tapping the edge of the hole. I am like WTF? I decided to ignore it. Then the nails tap again. I ignore it but it makes me nervous. This happens three more times, more insistently. By that time I am nervous and a little pissed. This time the long nails come in through the hole and open and close. It looks like something out of and alien movie. I am dammed pissed at this point so I storm out of my booth and start hammering the door to the booth next to mine shouting to open the fucking door. Other booths open and dudes see this 6'4" gorilla and with big passed gun strapped in and start bailing like crazy. The booth door opens and there is this cute young Hispanic chick who looks utterly terrified. I ask her what the fuck is going on? She tells me the owner sent her back because he thought I might like a treat on my break. I asked what kind of treat? She explains what the whole is for. I am so embarrassed to say the least and I am sure was beat red for the rest of the shift. My coworkers ribbed my ass for months. The security firm was owned by Georgina Spelvin under her real name. She would just snicker at me when she saw me there after. I blushed a lot that year.

[annie@christophers]

Did ya fuck her or what? What happened? xxoo annie

[SaltyDog71]

I have a gun shot sound for the text alert on my phone. The first time I meet this one provider I forgot to turn the phone down or off. I had been on a tractor earlier and had the volume up full blast. She was on top doing this awesome CG, when my phone went off, She ducked and almost jumped off the bed, looking around and asked WTF was that. I was laughing so hard it almost killed the mood. She started laughing to when I told her what it was. I had to pick on her then, dang girl are you used to being shot at?

[OldGent]

No Annie I sure didn't. Lol. No regrets we were all young and stupid once.

[tornado82]

While we were walking up the staircase to her room, the provider got on a water pipe like it was a stripper pole. She was a former stripper so she knew how to work both "poles"

[onawalkabout]

Many moons ago when I was in much better shape.
I was with a young spinner in Birmingham.
She was maybe 90lb soaking wet.

I was tossing her around and having a great time when I get the great idea to throw her in the air and catch her with my face.
Which actually worked. So I am so full of myself I start walking around DATY with her in the air. I forgot there was drop In the ceiling.
Bam she goes limp.
I'm like OH fuck.
I get her to the bed and gently lay her down thinking I've killed this poor girl.
When she jumps up and says damn that hurt.
I have never been so relieved in my life.

[Nicolet]

Originally Posted by onawalkabout

Many moons ago when I was in much better shape.
I was with a young spinner in Birmingham.
She was maybe 90lb soaking wet.

I was tossing her around and having a great time when I get the great idea to throw her in the air and catch her with my face.
Which actually worked. So I am so full of myself I start walking around DATY with her in the air. I forgot there was drop In the ceiling.
Bam she goes limp.
I'm like OH fuck.
I get her to the bed and gently lay her down thinking I've killed this poor girl.
When she jumps up and says damn that hurt.
I have never been so relieved in my life.

A painfully funny story, onwalkabout.