When you and a client *really* disagree

[John Bull]

For the sheeple out there, I'm baaaaakkkk
I'll have to admit I've neglected my favorite forum recently due to some pressing Eccie biz that took me away. I see that all is pretty much normal except, My God, you people have been burning up the keyboards.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

so..you mean you actually bend over and moan your complaints in a pillow? so in missionary position , you would not complain?


(sorry was just meant as a joke......;-)....no offense.....)

No offense taken.

There was thread awhile back when a number of us guys admit to complaining/venting about our (civie) professional clients/customers. In direct contact with clients our conduct is of course appropriate and respectful. It is the nature of the beast.

Why should we expect escorts to be any different than any other provider of goods/services?

[..]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Altcomedy: sure, but along with doing that also means opening yourself to someone objecting to the tone.

..: nothing to do with the person; there are people on this board I have known for a while, have met, and who I like that I have objected to the tone of some of their posts. Of course the person may not give a fuck what I care, thats ok too.

who cares about the fucking tone? can we focus on actual fucking good advice for once?

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Natalie

Hi Lauen S., and thanks for responding. I really appreciate what you have to say, particularly because I know (based on what you've said before) that you've been involved in mistress-type relationships before. Thanks for weighing in. Again, it's not as if the two *hate* one another (then it wouldn't be a complcated issue at all), it's just one aspect of a relationship that is causing the lady distress. Thanks for your comment.

I understand that. However, if over time someone feels perfectly comfortable causing you distress, you will eventually learn to hate them. I hope that I'm wrong.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by ..

who cares about the fucking tone? can we focus on actual fucking good advice for once?

+1

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Though he may be taking care of her financially, he is emotionally being abusive, though the infraction may be small in the grand consideration of things.

Your friend should understand that when she takes the chances of breaking down the boundaries of typical companionship, she has more right then ever before to expect respect and dignity. She must take care of her well being, and do what is right for her happiness.

I agree with everything stated by this post above. Its exaclty my own opinion - and my experience as well. It screams abuse to me as well, i am glad i am not the only one seing that. Merci. Besides, dating racists.. I mean .... that again is an issue for itself.....But even if he wasn`t a racist there is strong evidence of potential for emotional abuse, given he likes to offend people and push boundaries.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by ..

who cares about the fucking tone? can we focus on actual fucking good advice for once?

There was similar advice given in a much more civil way. I have found that generally speaking advice is better received when the tone is more civil. If the person giving advice wants to be listened to tone can make a difference. Perhaps your experience is different.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Altcomedy: sure, but along with doing that also means opening yourself to someone objecting to the tone.

..: nothing to do with the person; there are people on this board I have known for a while, have met, and who I like that I have objected to the tone of some of their posts. Of course the person may not give a fuck what I care, thats ok too.

Absolutely...

...we all leave a footprint of posts here and other members, even lurkers, will draw conclusions about us not just on the POV expressed in posts but tone, civility, and for that matter even command of the English language...

Similarly, IMO, you are always within your boundaries to tell another member what you think of their tone just as you can the underlying POV expressed in their posts.

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I understand that. However, if over time someone feels perfectly comfortable causing you distress, you will eventually learn to hate them.

So true!

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

There was similar advice given in a much more civil way. I have found that generally speaking advice is better received when the tone is more civil. If the person giving advice wants to be listened to tone can make a difference. Perhaps your experience is different.

it depends. If you find it offensive to adress political views and critizise people who cater to needs of racist that is probably ok. But civil is a two way sword with sharp blades on two sides. I don`t think the gay movement or the anti-racist movement would have gotten anywhere if they just threw slime-balls of appreciation to their oppressors. I find a person that caters to needs of racists or caters to jerky clients who abuse women much more offensive to this BUSINESS in the long run and to escorts in general. Same is with rates and what is included in the service.
If a guy can get away with such things, its not good for any of us. So - offense is a two way sword. And character is too. Why should i put my criticism of an executed behaviour that really is offensive for me in a less offensive way? Just asking a racist to not talk is like pretending the holocaust did not exist, just because you decide not to look at it. Its OFFENSIVE to ignore political actions. To look away IS political. To screw a guy for money and tell he is a nice guy if he were not a racist IS political. She sleeps with the enemy and tries to even cater to his needs MORE instead of less.... Sorry! Same time different station. For me the whole actions is much more offensive than my RE-action towards it. Interesting that no one seems to SEE that! The problematic with the "look the other way and don`t touch sticky topics" digs way way way way way deeper. Its offensive per se. AND VERY VERY DANGEROUS. Imagine you are with a killer and you think he is a nice person except he killed someone. You know he killed someone. So he gives you nice treats does whatever but still - he killed someone. But its allright to see him because the $$ is right and other than that he is a "real good person"
So i ask: HOW GOOD CAN A PERSON BE THAT BEING A RACIST is tolerable? I doubt it exists. Merci.

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

sure, but its probably not the smartest move to do so in an escort forum where clients also read.
i do not take clients money and complain about them. Its simply not possible in this job. I do so for one timers. Who i never see again for exactly that reason. But someone i see regularly? Its not possible in a helping profession .

Helo Nina, you're right, it would be rather unwise if I wrote this about my own client whom I intended to keep. I didn't, however, write this about myself. I knew saying "a friend" would sound like BS anyway, so I chose to make a joke out of it. I'm fully aware that most people would think I was talking about my own client, but since I personally don't have any that match that description, I have little to worry about in terms of it affecting my business. Even if every man I have ever met came across this post, I can't think of one who might mistake himself for the gentleman in question. I find the advice people have shared valuable because I've found myself asking similar questions about my own client relationships: when it is right to stay or go, and when it is beneficial versus simply frustrating to argue or disagree, when someone wants to have an enlightening discussion versus be catered to and have a nodding audience, what they expect versus what they might deserve. So while yes, I brought up the discussion largely for my own benefit, I do not have concerns about the gentleman reading it and being identified, as I do not know him personally.

I don't know why the situation strikes some as so surprising—haven't you gotten in a relationship with someone before (personal, professional, romantic, client/escort), become deeply fond of them, and then realized after that you had fundamental disagreements? This gentleman doesn't wear a swastika T-shirt, and doesn't feel he or his views are racist; prejudices often reveal themselves more slowly and subtly, particularly in the early stages of a romantic relationship (albeit an escort/client one) where two people are trying at some level to impress one another. I have a hard time believing that you have never gotten close to a person and had every instinct about them be spot-on from the very beginning.

I disagree that finding oneself in a complicated position makes one unprofessional or of weak character. These seem to be rather harsh and gratuitous insults, and I'm having trouble understanding how my post provoked such sentiments in you. While I welcome your opinion and some of the points you made, I don't think speaking that way was necessary or helped you articulate yourself in any way. You really just put another person down in an internet flame war, which I suppose is gratifying for some people, but not something I've ever quite understood as a productive conversation or even very much fun (I believe you called me childish in one post as well, no?). In any event, the profession is complicated. Personal relationships are complicated; adding money to the mix might simplify them superficially, but can also make things more difficult. We enjoy what we do, but quite frankly wouldn't require payment for it if it was only about fun, hot sex and good times. Reaching a point where you can truly afford to only see the people that make you happy takes time—and people change, and dynamics between people change. Obviously. I think it's quite reasonable to ask for others' experiences, and had several people email and PM me thanking me for starting the thread, because it was a question that they found helpful as well. I disagree that anyone without all the answers is of weak character—I guess I would personally reserve "weak character" as a description for someone who is malicious or extremely selfish to the point where they hurt people.

For those who have approached this post as if it were a dumb, useless/obvious question, and the asker an idiot, I'd like to point out the fact that the wide variety of responses argues against that. I won't go through everything, but responses ranged from "Just take his money and don't let it get to you because he's not worth worrying about," to "Oh my god, I'd never waste my time with someone who acted like that." If it was really that obvious and I was such an idiot for asking, it seems like you all would have been in agreement with a response. So chill, and if it's that dumb and pointless, no reason to read—after all, it's not like I'm even paying you.

[Guest053011]

There is a bias in the modern world toward ladies and gents who dare to color outside the lines, and develop something beyond a transaction. From unprofessional, to make believe, to idiots - sadly it's part of the conservative companionship community.

Your question was valid. These experiences are complicated, but rewarding. Be observan, take the time to reflect on your experiences and never make the same mistake twice.

You're sharp. Thing will work themselves out.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by John Bull

..... due to some pressing Eccie biz that took me away......

I waited 5 hours for you guys to hit this one out of the park....

I mean seriously....'pressing Eccie biz'?????

[discreetgent]

He must have meant examining some eccie talent lol

[pjorourke]

ECCIE is taking in laundry? Damn! Those bandwidth bills must be huge.