sticks and stones may break your bones... but words????

[Brooke Cumsalot]

got en email today from JOHNDOE*** stating word for word..

"Listen brooke you are a little fucking whore that ruined my friends marriage. you should be ashamed of yourselff you fucking cunt. you are a disgrace. "

all i gotta say is wow. i know this happens alot in this hobby. people finding out about a certain session or meeting with a provider.. but is it right to blame the provider? with such harsh words? really gets to me... i would never want to ruin anything with anybodys personal if. ESPECIALLY ruin a marriage. I use to believe that I help in alot of ways... well let me know what your opinon is.. and if im crazy for a lil hurt by this.


miss yall eccie!!!

<3
brooke cumsalot aka brookie

[TexRich]

you shouldn't let it get to you, we are all grown ups making choices what we want to do. its not your fault the guy's marriage is ruined, it was probably ruined before he met you. cheer up sweets.

[FLWrite]

I certainly don't believe you're crazy for being hurt by it. Accusations of any kind, however unfounded, tend to invade our consciousness and haunt us at the most inopportune times. Reaching out to this community, where you'll undoubtedly find many who have had similar experiences, hopefully will be healing to you. Don't ever apologize for being sensitive to this stuff--it means you have feelings. I'm sorry this happened. Shake the dust off...

[Chainsaw Anthropologist]

Brookie,

There is absolutely no way you should lose even the least bit of sleep worrying about a choice made by another adult to avail himself of your adult services. You've done nothing wrong and certainly shouldn't feel in any way responsible for the failure of the marriage of someone else.

If John Doe was such a good friend shouldn't he have been advising his friend to avoid extramarital pursuits rather than attacking you AFTER the fact. If that email is any indication of his language skills....well, his vocabulary is extremely limited and that's just another strike against him.

[Brooke Cumsalot]

aww thank u! yall made me feel alot better!! whew.... releases alot of weight**

[MaxiMilyen]

I got the same thing from an angry husband recently after helping a friend, who was UTR, get into the biz. He found out, called me from her phone and when I answered, he started screaming at me and calling me a nasty whore. He blamed me for all his marital problems and her decision to provide. Of course I was shook up and it was unexpected and unpleasant, but I quickly explained to him, in no uncertain terms, that it wasn't my fault and that if he had taken care of his wife, she wouldn't have turned to others. He was shocked that I would even contemplate, much less inform him that he was the one responsible for the turn of events in his life.

Do I feel guilty? no. I will always help out my gf's when asked and would do it again. You're liable to take some unpleasant hits from ignorant and/or emotionally irrational people, hon. It's natural to get upset, but as the others have stated, he was a grown man who made the decision to partake of your services. It's not like you were trying to steal her man away from her.

So many people let our sanctimonious society rule their thinking and just refuse to see the need for our profession. We probably keep more marriages together rather than being responsible for breaking them up. More than likely, had she been meeting his needs, he wouldn't have sought you out and IMHO she should be grateful that he didn't take a mistress, fall in love and leave her.

Chin up sexy girl!

[Hercules]

I get nasty emails/PMs too. From upset women who don't even know me to the occasional S/O of a lady. I used to ignore them.

Now I use logic to piss 'em off more and then put 'em on ignore. (hey..that rhymes!)

An individual is responsible for their own actions. No one has ever put a gun to my head and ordered me to stick my johnson in a woman.

[supersarge]

Hang in there Brooke. Like all things on this board they just seem to fade away over time.

Good Idea MAX. Think I will get a mistress.

[TheWanderer]

People tend to feel that way because they are always looking for someone to blame other than themselves for any problems in their life.

Everyone is driving their own train, so if it wrecks, in most cases, it is the engineer's fault.

If a married man has an affair with a woman ( or married woman with a man) he or she meets in a bar, at work or at the grocery store. It is not the ladies or man's fault for breaking up the marriage unless she or he knows that continuing the affair will lead to the breakup of the marriage and even then, it is only 50% hers or his fault.

In a regular hobby situation, as long as neither party has stepped over the line, that is never the intention.

Certainly, there are risks involved. Playing any sport or taking up any hobby has risks.

[Int3rested]

U r responsible for u r choices, not the choices of others.

[Bestman200600]

Brooke:

If he was seeing a provider his marriage was in trouble. A good provider clarifies the situation and takes care of needs. I love them all.

[Guest022712-3]

See-- here is the way I see it.

I don't go for the "well if she were taking care of business" line--- nope. Some men just have a primal need to bed down with as many as they can. The wife could be a perfect wife and always fulfill his needs without question, but he is still going to seek more.

I'm also a firm believer in everyone controlling their own destiny in life. Every married/attached man here knows that there is always that slim possibility of getting caught. Every man here knows the potential consequences of their actions. So, if the shit does hit the fan, the man can really only blame himself.

Now-- on our side of the fence. We ladies know that as far as "respectable upright women" go-- we are looked down upon. Whether it be right or wrong, thats the fact. In this world, we are going to get treated horribly by women for what we choose to do. Thats just the way it is. A smart girl goes into this business knowing that, at least as long as she is here, she isn't going to have normal female relationships. Either she will be hiding what she does or she will be basically alone, save other friends in the business. That is the choice WE make by coming into this world.

[flexywun]

his choice not yours. if he's venturing out, his marriage was already broken.

[happyndallas45]

Brooke, I am glad you had the courage to share this. I echo the thoughts of many that each person is responsible for his actions, and I doubt you contacted John Doe's friend for a session! My personal experience with this situation was getting an angry call from a husband whose wife was pursuing me by calling, etc. I didn't want to be involved with her anymore, yet I was blamed. I was, like, shouldn't you be mad at her???? Bottom line, people always look for outside reasons and people to blame instead of looking first inside of the person who is responsible for the consequences of their own actions. It is normal to feel a tinge of guilt when being blamed for something, but you have to understand the truth that you did nothing wrong.

[gitzo]

I don't understand how he can blame you. His friend paid to see you.