DEFINE A STALKER?

[Guest121613]

ladies, how would you define a stalker from an e-mail/text perspective? can a stalker really be via e-mail/text? what is nice, what is a nuisance, and what is scary?

I am only asking as I send notes to my ATFs or wanna be ATFs about 1 per week... and being engineering challenged personality, I want to quantify it and measure it using statistical analysis of categorical data, LOL, and figure out of whacked I am...

[NinaBrooke]

Since I know that from personal experience, a stalker is not someone (for me) that writes me to my provider account. A Stalker is someone that got hold of my personal name (almost real name, my true name will be never found anywhere on the net, I have two aliases in the web) and sends me facebook friend requests, stalks me on linkedin, and when asked where he got my freakin`name from then he says "oh you gave it to me ". THAT is Stalker Material!! As If I ever ... gave some jerk that I seen ONE time - many years ago - and he already back then annoyed the creeps out of me already (by trying to shorten me on money and such....) my REAL name....

I only had ONE stalker in my whole life as an escort and that was not even my own mistake .....


So, the conclusion: a stalker is someone that got hand of your private identity NOT VIA YOURSELF and then tries to invade your privatesphere.
Anything on my professional name and in my email account I would not classify as stalking, that is just a sideffect of marketing your "job" ....

[Babylee]

My definition of a stalker is..an ex boyfriend that follows you everywhere you go,checks your emails because he somehow got ur password from knowing you too well. He then gets into your phone and calls your friends or family and informs them of the lifes choices you have made, trys to get on facebook, myspace, and yahoo updates, and lets everyone know anything personal you may have shared. Then when you decide to move forward and ban him from your life, someone thinks its comical to let him know where you are after you have tried desperately to remove all traces of ur relationship. He then breaks into your car and takes everything out of your glovebox and any suitcases or anything in the trunk after finding out your location and pays a visit. Even after all of this, he keeps things going by driving by your new residence and honking the horn at all hours of the night and setting up survailence in a hidden cul-de-sac to keep an eye on me. He then causes chaos with ur new boyfriend and causes the "new one" to dump you because he cant handle the ex. He writes escort ads on unknown sites about bogus crap and causes you to get calls all hours of the night, even after you have taken a break from the biz...He threatens to call your family...or my ex hubby...and let him know what is going on in my life..and that i am "working" or prints off any and all ads that I have made and forwards them to my ex so i couldnt see my son. And all of this was just the beginning....there was way more....So in other words..or in my words...A stalker is someone who will make ur life a living hell, just to make sure that you think about them daily. When they know that they are on your mind..they think that no one else can be, so they are ok until they think you have forgotten them or are ignoring them. Then it starts again...until..you either file charges against them...or make peace somehow, or they find someone else to stalk. Thank the Lord...mine is at peace.

[TheWanderer]

I think he asked for the definition of a stalker, but you gave the definition of your stalker.
And I must note that it was very thorough and complete definition. I felt like I know the guy after reading that.
I've had a female relative that was stalked in the same manner. I have actually been pursued by a female stalker who assigned her brother to keep an eye on me.
I often have tried to determine what lies within the individual to cause this behavior.
I think that if it could be understood, maybe it could be stopped.
Is there a way to make a stalker see how ridiculous their behavior is?
Can they be made to see how their behavior is having the opposite effect from what they desire?
It's certainly not funny when it is happening to you.

[bladtinzu]

According to the great laws in the state of Alabama it is not stalking untill a threat is made. I have been going through this crap for the last two months because the ex who stabbed me three times thinks it is funny to follow me around and drive by my house all the damn time. The cops told me that is not considered stalking but when I asked them if she was getting the same treatment from a guy they shyed away from answering it. So I put it in plain and simple terms so they could understand. She keeps it up someone will end up dead and someone will end up walking on a justifiable homicide case. I let them figure out on their own who would be walking and who would be no longer a menace to society. I mean the woman steals my trash for the love of god!! So now I write little notes about where fictional bodies are buried and leave in my trash for kicks and giggles..

[acp5762]

Booby Trap The Trash. Cover your face with a mouth and nose filtered mask. Spray a can of Pepper spray into a plastic Garbage Bag. Seal it up real tight. Make sure it has no holes or leakage. The gas will remain in the bag for a very long time. If she opens the bag and rumages around she will be exposed to the gas. I don't have to tell you what the results will be. It works on Dogs that dig through the garbage.

[Guest121613]

mmmmm..... thanks, I see the seriousness of the situation, and apologize for the flippant and naive question. I can see the clearly the difference between admirers and stalkers.

[PhantomofTheOpera]

Along the lines of what Babylee wrote, I will add that I have a very good friend who got out of the P4P world because of a hooker since she not only threatened his life multiple times and his family while stalking him for years, she even outed him. My friend had to go to court to muzzle the wench yet she continued to stalk him and last time I checked, he said she was still a prohlem. Funny thing is she projected that he was the stalker when it was always her doing the stalking. Some ppl just live in denial, I suppose. Like the other guys that have posted, I was stalked before as well in the civvie world but that was easy for me to deal with since she did not like having a .45 put in her face when she was caught in the backyard of my home at 1am. To be real, this is a real problem since some have serious mental issues and get caught up in their own causality loop by believing they are not doing what they claim the other is doing to them, i.e. they stay stupid.

For the OP, what you listed I would not see as stalking, I would consider it marketing. But there is a very fine line that you really need to be sure you are aware of. If I were to get a PM or a text, I would not mind but then I am happily single. As for the married gents, you might want to tread very lightly there, if at all.

[TheWanderer]

Good comments by all so far. I remember a Saturday Night Live skit called "Stalk Talk." It was a discussion panel with Christophr Walken, Adam Sandler and the rest of the crew. It was both funny and pathetic.
Wish I could find the YouTube link.
I think it starts as a basic premise of the human dream for success which is of course - Never give up pursuing and working for your dream.
Then it gets perverted and distorted.
That principal works in a lot of areas....such as as getting that car you love or getting a good job or buying your dream house or getting your body in shape.
Unfortunately, that philosophy does not work in relationships when the other person just wants out.

[NinaBrooke]

That is interesting you mention the laws in the USA. I thought, you guys have it easier with the Stalking here? In Europe (Austria or Germany or Switzerland) stalking is not really taken serious.

I had a GF being stalked by one of her exes, he even put some stinky acid in front of her apartment door and threatened her, called her, and such things, she even caught him on camera,

and it`s not really been taken serious. The only thing they took serious is him pouring that stinky acid in front of her door.
That was actaully aserious offense, but the fact, that he followed her and threatened her was not taken serious, because she could not proof he was threatening her.

If the guy does not leave traces via email or any other things in the web, then - I assume - it`s hard to proof, even if there are threats.

[Guest121613]

feel free to use this thread to share best practices in identifying and protecting providers from stalkers

[Sweet N Little]

The exact legal definition varies from state to state, but all states now have some kind of law against stalking. Virtually any unwanted contact between a stalker and their victim which directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear can generally be referred to as stalking, whether or not it meets a state's exact legal definition.

[Kloie]

Stalking is crazy! It takes the life out of you! The fear you live in and not knowing who it is or if you do know them how far they will take it. I use to live with bars and alarms. The police just don't do enough and it is so much worse with a provider lifestyle

[allofamber]

i believe as soon as you tell someone to stop texting, calling, or coming around and they still do they fall into the stalking category .....Once you have made it clear to the other person to stay away and they dont respect your wishes then they are stalkers.

[thx]

Originally Posted by allofamber

i believe as soon as you tell someone to stop texting, calling, or coming around and they still do they fall into the stalking category .....Once you have made it clear to the other person to stay away and they dont respect your wishes then they are stalkers.

I believe that the text above is the best definition.


The examples in the earlier posts are way beyond stalking.