Its over!!

[BigDeal]

Im screwed....Turned 50 yesterday...

1) already got a Bday card from AARP

2) had to up my 1.50 reading glasses to 1.75

3) called the doctor to schedule a physical...he said it wont matter

4) Called the suicide prevention center...they said go ahead and do it!

5) Found out my penis is actually a clitoris....I knew something wasnt right!

6) Now im starting to drive a bigger car but slower like the Grand poobah at the Rose Bowl parade!

7) Havin my Bday party today and was told candles are not allowed...fire hazard

8) The last provider I saw had this fantasy of having sex in the back seat of the car...but she wanted me to drive...

9) My former S/O had a mirror installed above the bed so she could watch herslf laugh

10) I bought a new blow up doll but popped her on a tack in the carpet...that sucks

Oh and I really need to get laid bad...I wish I could find a website or sumptin for that!


Im fucked.....

[offshoredrilling]

don't worry. I can tell ya, its all down from 50.

[BigDeal]

The other day I was playing softball and when stole a base...I had to stop a pee between bases

Wait what was I talking about...oh yeah...turning 50...Its Over!

[ez2plz]

On the bright side, your memory is shot as well, so you won't remember or realize how bad it really is!

[Guest102513-1]

Happy B-Day BD....just a couple of things to keep in mind, when you know your Old

- In hostage situation, you're likely to be released first
- You and your teeth no longer sleep together
-Getting "alittle action" means you don't need to take a laxative
- When getting lucky means you have found your car in the parking lot
- When you are told to act your age, you die

[offshoredrilling]

I find being with a provider my age is a blast. only take what you need to cover for a hour. 6 hours latter after ya just left. crap what was about to type.

[pyramider]

Fucking youngsters bitching ...

[Wizard of Ahhhhs]

Happy Birthday, BD. 50 wasn't so bad. Although I am to the point now where, when people ask me my age, I add 5 years. That way, when I tell them, they'll hopefully say "Damn, you look pretty good for 62!" I figure the increment will increase as I get older, too. By the time I'm 65, I'll be tellin' people I'm 80.

[i'va biggen]

don't pass up a bathroom,and don't trust a fart.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by ekim008

don't pass up a bathroom,and don't trust a fart.

ya that was it. errr mmmm no

[billtunes]

When you turn 51, then you'll stop whining

[bartipero]

If I see you standing out by the street waving me in by a pickup full of Vidalia onions, though, I'm hitting the gas, so I hope you can still dive and roll!