Dating a provider, female advice needed

[Nick11796]

Owlman - you are more right than you know. Many providers, including ones that come across as pleasant and sophisticated, have had many difficult experiences, relationships and lifestyles. Those things impact how they feel about a relationship. It can take a while and a lot of mutual effort to get over those things.

[Owlman]

Nick - did you realize the issues when you married a provider?

[chrissy]

Originally Posted by jman2010

Ok here is the deal. I started dating a new girl and after a few weeks she told me she had previously been a provider and is now in real estate. No problem I can deal with that. Now I find out she provides to some re clients as a way to get sales but says she will stop for a real relationship? So is it possible for a provider to have a true love and separate business from love ?

Im sorry but your situation just sucks! And not in a "You can deal with it" kinda way..Toooo many woman in Tx..Grab a beer and relax..I always prefer to stay single....Life has too many pleasures to tie down just yet! You should enjoy all you can first..Us Woman aren't going anywhere any time soon..

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by Nick11796

She can be difficult at times since she does not feel that she needs to be GFE at home.

Yep...you're married...and officially stupid for thinking she'd be anything else...

[NIKKILOVE]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Yep...you're married...and officially stupid for thinking she'd be anything else...

I will say I do not agree, but that's just my own feeling. I have a SO, who knew I had been a provider in the past, because I chose to tell him, but I was not when we met. I have since then, 2 years into our relationship, started providing again--but not with out discussing it with him in GREAT FREAKIN DETAIL. I will admit, it takes a lot of extra work as far as staying open and honest, that a "normal" job would not require to make both feel they can trust and be comfortable. I think a lot of people feel that if you are in this profession, it defines who you are in your personal life..not so true at all though. Yes for some, it is a way of life--- not a "job". But some of us know how to do a job and leave it at that, yet still have a meaningful, trust worthy, honest relationship.

[Allen Woody]

hay guys - do you think this prhovider will make agood housewife?

[Nick11796]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Yep...you're married...and officially stupid for thinking she'd be anything else...

She has gone through a lot of things. Her life experience and other problems have created severe anxiety, depression and lack of self esteem (except where her looks are concerned). I am committed to work with her to help her get over these things as best as possible.

[Sarunga]

Some of you guys think too much....no wonder the psychiatry business is booming.

[frankli]

I have just broke up with a provider and had a hard time figuring whether I was a client or a boyfriend. As a client at least you know what the deal is. Good providers are extremely adept at making you feel special it is very hard to tell true feelings from BS. Once they are not honest to you it is time to run. I don't think it can really work until they retire and even then it can be a difficult future with the dynamic of stopping her from continuing her work by coming up with more money.

[Guest040715]

Originally Posted by frankli

I have just broke up with a provider and had a hard time figuring whether I was a client or a boyfriend. As a client at least you know what the deal is. Good providers are extremely adept at making you feel special it is very hard to tell true feelings from BS.

This is a very valid point and one I would see most men who find out a girl they're dating is a provider would have a hard time dealing with. This is why I don't think a gentleman that has ever hobbied can date a girl that provides or ever did provide. Because he is aware of how capable she is of making him feel special for that small period of time they're together. He's aware of what a great actress she is.

I've tried dating and having serious relationships while being a provider, I've told some of them and not told others... It's exhausting to me personally. I think that's part of the fun of the hobby.... It's a game, a cat and mouse game of fantasy and sexy fun.... It's a fantasy not just for the hobbyists, but the providers as well. You get to be this fantasy girl, get worshipped and treated like a queen for a few hours.... And he gets the experience without the strings and headaches lol. Why complicate such a pure, beautiful experience with something so messy as dating?

[Owlman]

I am seeing a lady. It is becoming more and more obvious to me that her self esteem and confidence come from her provider experiences.

[CivilBarrister]

Originally Posted by Jaida_So_Lovely

It's a fantasy not just for the hobbyists, but the providers as well. You get to be this fantasy girl, get worshipped and treated like a queen for a few hours.... And he gets the experience without the strings and headaches lol. Why complicate such a pure, beautiful experience with something so messy as dating?

All relationships have issues and complications and yes, hobby relationship probably have a few more.

But Providers are not the only great actors in relationships and clearly not the only ones who keep secrets from their SOs.

The answer to Jaida's question: Why complicate such a pure, beautiful experience with something so messy as dating?

The answer is simple and VERY OLD:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam: Canto 27, 1850.

[frankli]

Jaida,
I think you are exactly right. I tried to accept the provider SO experience but it is incredibly complicated and if the provider is not totally honest there is no chance for a real relationship. From this relationship I am understanding the beauty and simplicity of the hobby experience. So I am ready to give it a shot. How do you meet providers without references? I signed up on date check but It seems p[roviders need refs.

[Prince Akeem Of Zamunda]

Most of u sound like a bunch of cuckolds

Dating?marrying providers? lol

Where do you draw the line?
Even if you're active in the hobby..how many hookers are u fukking a week?1 or 2?
What bout your wife?how many clients is she supposed to see a day?especially if she is young,hot,energetic and down with all that bbbj,cim,mpcog stuff?how bout 10-15??too excessive??Are u going to give her 100% freedom to do her job as she sees fit?are you going to limit the number of guys she sees a day?

is she supposed to discuss her job with you?its Easter today..if she gets a call from a guy looking for an overnight date for 3000$,can she go handle her business?does she have to ask for your permission?

[Nick11796]

Originally Posted by Jaida_So_Lovely

It's a game, a cat and mouse game of fantasy and sexy fun.... It's a fantasy not just for the hobbyists, but the providers as well. You get to be this fantasy girl, get worshipped and treated like a queen for a few hours.... And he gets the experience without the strings and headaches lol. Why complicate such a pure, beautiful experience with something so messy as dating?

My wife believed that no man could be trusted. She believed that every man wanted her for her looks and for sex. By selling those assets to well-to-do guys, she made a good living. She felt that, regardless of the nature or extent of a relationship, it was based on sex and looks on her part and the money on the guy's part. Her ego felt good by the fact that the guy paid a lot for her services and generally treated her very well.

Because she believed that relationships were based on looks and sex, she felt that leaving the profession and giving up her high paying regulars was a tremendous risk. Her lifestyle had changed because of her income and contacts. She did not want to be in a situation where she had one client and was totally dependent on that.

It took a long time for her to realize that I legitimately loved her. We have had a lot of problems, but she does believe that now.