Seems very ironic. Many of the guys in the hobby are trying to fill in what is missing at home- often with otherwise healthy and rewarding relationships. But the same hobby life sometimes sometimes gets in the way of the ladies' having such a relationship.
When I think of what happens when relationships are tested with stress, I think it would be a special risk for the women here. We can all say things we wish we would not in the heat of an argument. Usually, the cheap shot comes out when we have been hit somewhere really tender- so the response is all the more mean spirited. If a guy had any unspoken judgements about his sweetie's work like (past or present), he could say a lot of things that might be really hard to forget (so much for make up sex). My guess is that either a guy has to be really honest with himself (as few are) that he truly does not have a charge on her working life, past or present- or they would both have to take the same risks through active involvement in the hobby.
Seems to me a high risk situation- but if it works- highly rewarding. I have seen it work once. A couple in Northern Cal who met through the hobby, and felt so drawn to each other that they worked it out and married. They were both active in the hobby scene- which they preferred to the swingers clubs, for about 5 years. Then they just decided they were ready for something new. He is an attorney and she became a therapist, working with women dealing with sexual dysfunction. Last I knew, they were still together and blissfully happy screwing each others' brains out.
I love a happy ending.
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