Popular Misconceptions About Providers

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Maybe if you weren't so negative the women you pay to fuck might genuinely care about what you want.

You just validated my opinion. And I'm not being negative...just realistic.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Giveumyhart

5. That we don't honestly care about what clients want. I don't think you could do this for very long if you really hated it and them.

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I have a problem with this contention. I think most ladies really care about what clients want...for an hour. After that, they could care less.

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

That's a contention I have a contention with, and I contend some of us have more retention of our attention and that this apprehension deserves suspension or at least dissension and better comprehension.

Huh?

I believe many of us, especially the ladies who specialize, as I do, in longer sessions and actual companionship, do form friendships with our regular clients. I know that I keep in touch with several of mine in between visits by email and phone just to see how they're doing, and have even visited some in the hospital.

In a way, I believe the amount of "caring" may have to do with how the lady sees herself, as hooker, escort, companion, mistress (and no, not THAT kind), courtesan, and how the gentleman views her. He's really the one who sets the type of care and contact he wants before, during, and afterward.

OK, you just failed to respond in kind to my statement. My "dates" tend to be one time, one hour appointments. That's due to my age and the nature of my hobbying. And supported by some extant evidence (for instance, on P411, when asking for an OK, there's a place to "jog" the lady's memory, and the site says it needs that because the lady may not remember you).

OTOH, you describe the exact opposite of the dates I have. You talk about longer dates and regulars. I don't have either. It's a financial mistake for me to do anything longer than an hour (90 minutes, if the deal is good). I don't get discounts (unless offered to all) because I don't have regulars. And I only do outcalls, so often times I pay an outcall upcharge to see someone.

It may not be true with the type of dates you have, but for me there's one, single hour of fantasy with each lady. My POV is that each lady MAY care about what I want, but only for that hour of fantasy. And as she counts the donation while leaving the session, the "caring" evaporates in a puff of smoke. The time frame for such caring is only one hour, and I'm not disillusioned about it.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

OK, you just failed to respond in kind to my statement. My "dates" tend to be one time, one hour appointments. That's due to my age and the nature of my hobbying. And supported by some extant evidence (for instance, on P411, when asking for an OK, there's a place to "jog" the lady's memory, and the site says it needs that because the lady may not remember you).

OTOH, you describe the exact opposite of the dates I have. You talk about longer dates and regulars. I don't have either. It's a financial mistake for me to do anything longer than an hour (90 minutes, if the deal is good). I don't get discounts (unless offered to all) because I don't have regulars. And I only do outcalls, so often times I pay an outcall upcharge to see someone.

It may not be true with the type of dates you have, but for me there's one, single hour of fantasy with each lady. My POV is that each lady MAY care about what I want, but only for that hour of fantasy. And as she counts the donation while leaving the session, the "caring" evaporates in a puff of smoke. The time frame for such caring is only one hour, and I'm not disillusioned about it.

I failed to respond in kind? No, I answered exactly right, at least in my last sentence, "... He's really the one who sets the type of care and contact he wants before, during, and afterward." You, as the gentleman client, prefer "one, single hour of fantasy," and you get that because it's what you want, 60 minutes of attention to your desires, no more, no less. I just took issue with the blanket statement you made that most ladies could NOT care less afterward, because it implies (IMHO) that most of us think ONLY about money and toss our pretty mask into the fire when nobody's around to reveal the greedy Scrooge McHo beneath, and that isn't representable of the ladies I know. While making a living, they want to enjoy it, too, are caring human beings, and spend a lot of time thinking about how they can improve and make things better for their clientele, just like professionals in other fields. Then again, how would I know if they keep their masks on all the time?

That's one reason I won't do hour appointments; I, myself, want the "illusion" to last a wee bit longer.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

because it implies (IMHO) that most of us think ONLY about money and toss our pretty mask into the fire when nobody's around to reveal the greedy Scrooge McHo beneath, and that isn't representable of the ladies I know.

This is a pretty insightful observation IMHO. Most of us who work are invested in our jobs. After all, we spend a lot of waking hours at work. There are things that happen at work that make us more invested. My pet project. My policy change. Things I think will better the work place.

I'm sure that is true of ladies who do this full time, too. They get invested in this job just like other workers get invested in theirs. I've noticed service deficiencies in those ladies who do this only part time, probably because their loyalties are split.

Scrooge McHo...that's really good!! Can I steal that? The ladies I see have no illusion that I will become a regular. And I'm an old fart. My needs are pretty simple and can easily be met in an hour (actually 15 minutes would be sufficient lol). There is absolutely NO motivation for her to care for me for more than the hour we are together. But this is a business transaction. I recognize that I'm trading time for money. I expect nothing more. But I am under no illusion: when the lady leaves, she doesn't care a whit about me after that. Our transaction is complete.

Now, if I had the potential to be a regular...then another dynamic might come into play.

[Guest060712]

I used to be full-time hobby and my service was not good, becuase I saw it as a job. Now, I see people when I want, meet people when I want, and completely enjoy it as a hobby. Everybody is different but I believe I am way more well-rounded now becuase I have a career that supports my bills- instead of having to do the hobby, to pay my bills....its all fun for me! Activities=FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN LOL

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

...Scrooge McHo...that's really good!! Can I steal that?

Permission granted. Send all royalties to the Save the Irish Chihuahua Society.

[charlestudor2005]

If you did that to that poor animal you should be reported to PETA. lol

[Giles117]

Late to this dialogue, but I have had a number of companions over the years that we developed great friendships outside of the "hobby."

There are many misconceptions. the biggest is that the Woman IS the hobby.

Lets be honest, we all are here because #1 we like sex. As we all know when you have sex with many partners, some will be good and some will be bad. So a wise person weighs the pros and cons. For a provider, is the money WORTH bad sex. And for a hobbyist, is Bad sex worth your time. (The money is honestly irrelevant in a good provider hobbyist interaction) And concerning sex, it is the ENTIRE experience, not just the carnal joining.

I have had providers where the convo was so good we didn't have sex, but talked for my time. Yet, because we enjoyed the conversation SOOO much, there were times in our interactions whereas I would just meet her/them and just hang out for the evening. Just because she had no clients and wanted to just talk for the evening. I wasn't caked up and wasn't in position to pay for services so we enjoyed each others company. Dialogue, board games, etc...

I can think of 3 providers where they merely sought my company as a friend for a day. Trust we had many regular encounters sometimes 2-3x a week depending upon my finances at the time.

As a hobbyist, I am sincerely concerned about any provider I see more than once. If she is worth 2x+ of my time then I am concerned for her well being, safety and whatnot. Not in a possessive manner for you have to be honest about her occupation, but as a friend.

Many misconceptions in this business on both sides of the fence.

Not everything is so CUT AND DRY...

I have been a hobbyist for 18 years and have met many many wonderful women.

In that time I have had 6 regulars. Lovely women that lasted for years until I got married or they retired. Even today we are friends on Facebook. Call one another to ensure everything is going well. Sex was an introduction. Friendship was the reward...

Judge not what you understand not in full...

Providers are WOMEN FIRST... Never forget that...

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by Giles117

Providers are WOMEN FIRST... Never forget that...

Giles,....your last sentence sums it all up. I find myself feeling a little offended by comments made by some hobbyists. For example:

- "How come a lot of you providers like sweet wine?"
My response: "What do you mean 'us providers'. We're women! Women usually like sweet girly drinks!"

- When clients assume because I am an escort, I am bi and likes women.
My response: "No, I like men and men only. I like women as friends."
They seem to be surprised.

- "What? You have a boyfriend? Does he know?"
My response: "Does your wife know? Of course not! Why would I be any different? I am a woman. I want to have a normal life, I want to love and be love, to have a relationship, I have feelings, emotions, jobs, education, family, friends, routines, hobbies, play sports, passion, etc like everyone else. I am not just an escort/robot/object.

[mikkifine]

Hi Samantha Thom. Thanks for responding to my thread.

Questions that should not be asked are: Are you married or do you have children? We ladies are entitled to some privacy and respect. The guys see my photos and my reviews. That is more than enough. I should not have to share more than that. There should be boundaries that are not crossed.

[Giles117]

Originally Posted by mikkifine

Questions that should not be asked are: Are you married or do you have children? We ladies are entitled to some privacy and respect.

I always allowed the woman to lead the conversation. Why be nosy. Might make her uncomfortable and ruin the time you have together... This isn't a Date where you are seeking a prospective mate. This is a fantasy play time for both... Enjoy it...

[Guest082513-02]

When i am not incalling or touring...i prefer to spend my time with my family, my children.

[AllisonofHouston]

Originally Posted by Giles117

This isn't a Date where you are seeking a prospective mate. This is a fantasy play time for both... Enjoy it...

I like this line, can I use it ?

[alluringava]

Tired old misconceptions? So many of them. We're all molested, abused, drug-addled, hate men, hate sex, have low-self esteem, have pimps, we can't possibly be intelligent businesswomen with goals or actually love what we do.

[Lovelyelle_01]

Originally Posted by alluringava

Tired old misconceptions? So many of them. We're all molested, abused, drug-addled, hate men, hate sex, have low-self esteem, have pimps, we can't possibly be intelligent businesswomen with goals or actually love what we do.

Don't forget the gold-digging leech who's TRUE intent is to seek out the easiest "mark" and prey upon him. Seriously, we're all here looking for a potential come up. We can't POSSIBLY like these guys for more than their $$$. Why? Well, DUH! $$$ is the ONLY reason we do this, right?