Man Rules

[capitan1962]

THERE'S A NEW SET OF RULES NOW!!

Now it's time for the man's rules. We always hear "the rules" for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

7. Subtle hints do not work

Strong hints do not work

Obvious hints do not work

Just say it!

8. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

12. Check your oil! Please.

13. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

14. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

19. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

20. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

21. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

22. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

23. I'm in shape. -ROUND is a shape.

[single1]

Capitan, adding to your last one #23, I've been told I have the body of a god. Buddha...lmao

[capitan1962]

LOL, yea well there isn't much to do here tonight in Ghana.

[mirandalee]

Too funny but true...

[rgvlife999]

I always tell people that round is a shape. I also tell them it takes the same type of dedication to keep my "fluffy" shape as those with big muscles and flat stomachs. We have to watch what we eat just as much as those in shape guys

[capitan1962]

Originally Posted by rgvlife999

I always tell people that round is a shape. I also tell them it takes the same type of dedication to keep my "fluffy" shape as those with big muscles and flat stomachs. We have to watch what we eat just as much as those in shape guys

Absolutely and it costs us more to maintain ours than paying for a gym membership too. that $75 a month is only one night for us at the bar, lol.