Living a Double Life

[HoneyRose]

I deal with it by making providing a tiny part of my life. If I'm only seeing 2-3 people each week it's not hard to talk about the other 90% of my week with people. ("What did you do today?" If I didn't see a client today, I tell the truth about what I did today If I did, then I skip that part or maybe insert some story about yesterday instead.)

Others have given relationship advice. I'll give friendship advice.

For close friends, I suggest you start meeting other providers and then find ones you click with and have COMMON INTERESTS with, other than just being providers.

You and I have gone to lunch a couple of times and I absolutely love you! You're beautiful, fun, intelligent, educated. And I really do appreciate you reaching out to me...but we don't have enough in common to build on.

I couldn't find any activity we could do together other than going out to lunch and that's not enough to strengthen a relationship because it just becomes an extra thing to schedule (especially for you as I know you juggle a regular day job). And we live an hour apart so even meeting halfway for lunch involves a 30 minute drive each way for both of us.

You like to go out to nightclubs at night. I like to stay in at night. You play tennis. I go to the dance classes at my gym. We go to nail salons in our own, different, neighborhoods.

We live quite a ways apart. ..especially as we live so far apart we can't do a spontaneous "Hey, I just brewed a pot of coffee and pulled a carrot cake out of the oven. Come on over."

The truth is that good girlfriends emerge from regular multiple contacts. In some ways it's easier to have girlfriends than a love-match, but in others it's harder (e.g. when there's sexual chemistry with a guy you're both willing to drive long distances and participate in activities you don't normally enjoy.)

Maybe post in the powder room with your location and a couple of activities you like and see if another provider who lives near you would enjoy those activities too?

Or, reach out to civilian ladies whom you're already in regular contact with and just don't tell them about providing.~~~ women in your tennis leagues~~ mothers whose kids participate in your son's activites~~~ neighborhood book clubs, etc.

[Melissa Madyson]

I don't have anyone in Texas to answer to, and personally I feel like it is my PERSONAL CHOICE to do this. I understand some of you ladies have family right next door so to speak, lol and for you its a hard choice. I get that. When I 1st began doing this many many years ago, it was a dark secret we never discussed openly. Now times have changed and more and more ladies have decided to do it and the net is so prevelent. So I wish you luck... Happy Hollidays

[shooter6.5]

knows what you do who you can count on for good advise, a good listener and someone who may be able to help if you get in a jackpot. Pick the right person, man or woman and develop that type of friendship.

How about three lives!!

The hobby one!!
The straight one!!
The one no one in the area has any idea about!!

Now theres an exciting day!!!!!!!

BTW-nice avatar Alecia. Like the dress!!

[Lexy Laye]

I personally feel that every girl in this should have someone who knows what their doing. If for no other reason than the fact that if anything were to ever happen to you, how would anyone know how to help you or find you. (God forbid)

[samantha thom]

Wow...thank you everyone for your replies! HD...you are right...I am not struggling with emotions or feelings. It's a challenge juggling my professional career, social life, and THIS life. Yes, I made some good friendships from the hobby. And naturally, these friendships overlap into my social life too. I do not want a relationship in which the guy is ok for me to have this hobby as my profession. And vice versa, I do not want the hobby to be part of his lifestyle.
Like Ms. Honey Rose said, the hobby is only a small part of my life. I have a lot of friends outside the hobby, lots of clients for my other job outside the hobby, and I have a lot of 'hobbies/interests/passions to pursue (as of sports)' outside the hobby. So I am not isolated in my social life. But I do feel alone that I cannot share with ANYONE about my second job. I do wish that I have a girlfriend in the hobby who share some common interests. Ms. Honey Rose...I do not have access to the powder room. I got denied access months ago... I don't know why????
Regarding my relationship, I don't think this is the one anyway. Still interviewing a few prospects...need me a good tall handsome tennis player. Hehe! I'm just being silly. I just hope I keep my stories straight with whoever I'm dating. Yikes!

[samantha thom]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU TOO, MS HONEY ROSE!!!
Are you sure you don't want to take up tennis? We can go to drills together. LOL
By the way, I do not like nightclubs. I only like 1 place I told you about because people are older, classier and they play Jazz instead of hip hop pop music crap that I can't stand.

Originally Posted by HoneyRose

I deal with it by making providing a tiny part of my life. If I'm only seeing 2-3 people each week it's not hard to talk about the other 90% of my week with people. ("What did you do today?" If I didn't see a client today, I tell the truth about what I did today If I did, then I skip that part or maybe insert some story about yesterday instead.)

Others have given relationship advice. I'll give friendship advice.

For close friends, I suggest you start meeting other providers and then find ones you click with and have COMMON INTERESTS with, other than just being providers.

You and I have gone to lunch a couple of times and I absolutely love you! You're beautiful, fun, intelligent, educated. And I really do appreciate you reaching out to me...but we don't have enough in common to build on.

I couldn't find any activity we could do together other than going out to lunch and that's not enough to strengthen a relationship because it just becomes an extra thing to schedule (especially for you as I know you juggle a regular day job). And we live an hour apart so even meeting halfway for lunch involves a 30 minute drive each way for both of us.

You like to go out to nightclubs at night. I like to stay in at night. You play tennis. I go to the dance classes at my gym. We go to nail salons in our own, different, neighborhoods.

We live quite a ways apart. ..especially as we live so far apart we can't do a spontaneous "Hey, I just brewed a pot of coffee and pulled a carrot cake out of the oven. Come on over."

The truth is that good girlfriends emerge from regular multiple contacts. In some ways it's easier to have girlfriends than a love-match, but in others it's harder (e.g. when there's sexual chemistry with a guy you're both willing to drive long distances and participate in activities you don't normally enjoy.)

Maybe post in the powder room with your location and a couple of activities you like and see if another provider who lives near you would enjoy those activities too?

Or, reach out to civilian ladies whom you're already in regular contact with and just don't tell them about providing.~~~ women in your tennis leagues~~ mothers whose kids participate in your son's activites~~~ neighborhood book clubs, etc.