The Southern Baptist Lady

[CivilBarrister]

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.

While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"

"Why yes, that would be nice," the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina

When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no," said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, "Whatever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, "Would you like a smoke?"

"Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did?"

Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ahhh .. mmmm how would you like to stop at this motel?"

"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.

The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and
there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.

The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Southern Belle lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What the hell have I done? He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them, "You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time."

[boardman]

Got any pictures?

[Diabolo]

Hahaha... good one, CB.

I've had a couple of similar experiences... ladies that don't smoke/drink/dance, but when in bed, they're total freaks.

[meryt]

I'll tell you one thing for sure: She didn't have sex with him standing up because someone might have walked in on them and thought they were dancing.

[CivilBarrister]

I heard every time there are 4 Baptists together, you will find a 5th.

[meryt]

Why do Baptists prefer the King James Version?

Because if it was good enough for Jesus and the disciples, it ought to be good enough for them.

[Sweet Heather]

I wonder if you substituted "Jews" or "Muslims" instead of Southern Baptists-would the story have been so amusing?

[meryt]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

I wonder if you substituted "Jews" or "Muslims" instead of Southern Baptists-would the story have been so amusing?

Well hell no. As far as I know, Jews have no prohibitions against smoking and drinking, and although the Koran forbids drinking, it says nothing about smoking because tobacco hadn't been introduced from the New World yet.

[Sweet Heather]

I can't wait for the N-word jokes! Should be a blast!!

[meryt]

Apparently CB's story hit close to home...