Oh boy. Sasnak, sorry you went through all this. I'm also sorry Nikki chose to vent the way she did. Her sig line includes:
nikkimonroe.sexynclassy.com. Kudos to all who speak their mind, but there are ways to do it without trashing oneself in the process. It's an art and can be learned, though it can be a hard lesson for many. Assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness, and her responses were certainly in the latter category. And of course, aggression is often met with more of the same; like begets like. Regardless of whether the guys on ECCIE are a small piece of the pie, a provider's attitude, if poor, will eventually sink her ship until she adjusts that attitude. And the same holds for any of us, too.
As others have said, we've all driven across town (too many times and with or without a Plan B), only to have no one answer the phone. I talked with a well known provider last weekend who I've seen a bunch of times over a number of years. She was on her way home, and I was to phone her just as I was leaving my house after first giving her some time to clear the people in her room. (OK, this was a bad omen, so the result was not a huge surprise.) Hmm, no answer when I called several times over the next hour. Yes, I have many such t-shirts; most of us do. That's not the biggest problem, though. I've still never heard from her, and from past experience, I'm sure I won't. She says she never gets on here. If she doesn't communicate with those she knows well, what happens to those she doesn't?
Elena is right about not reinforcing bad behavior. If we do, the behavior remains or gets even worse. I have a closet with too many t-shirts for doing this, too, even while knowing better. The child remains in all of us till death do us part, and that child wants it, and wants it now, regardless of what "it" is, but especially when it's something as fundamental as sex. Our egos get hurt when we've been slighted, and we either sulk, go to war, or chalk it up and maybe learn from it. I've done all three...more than a few times.
As for phone bombing, I was bombed by someone last night and today, but I understand her issues, and I just ignored the phone. In this case, however, Sasnak came up temporarily empty and moved forward, while Nikki managed to defend herself, though not too successfully as she has obviously been removed from a lot of wish lists here. As so often is the case, communication can at least keep people satisfied that they are being shown courtesy. A simple phone call can stave off ill will, while a toxic post can spread it ten-fold. The weekend is nearing. I hope everyone, guys and gals, has a plan...and a Plan B. OK, I think I hear something out back....
You guys are entertaining!
What???
You mean everyone wasn't already naked while fighting?
