The Successful Long-Term Hobby Relationship

[ztonk]

March 19th will mark my three year anniversary with my ATF (and as she recently quipped, that's longer than most marriages!) We've seen each other quite regularly over that time, most of them being "on the clock", including a weekend in Vegas, plus lunches and dinners. We know what drives the other crazy; we know each other's hot buttons; we share work and life events; we talk about everything... politics, food, drink, religion, men, women... We've had doubles, triples, and quadruples. Yet our one-on-one sessions continue to be outstanding and different and by no means boring.

She's a great friend. Yet it's still strictly a pay-for-play relationship. I know she's not going to show up uninvited, she'll ignore me in public when necessary, she won't drunk dial me at 2am, she's not going to ask me to marry her.

Anyway, I've read many horror stories over the years about hobby relationships going bad, from being outed to apartment managers, s.o.'s, family, friends, and work, to stalking, web site defacing, email hijacking, and worse. Or even those where the line between "pay-for-play" and "friends" blurs and feelings get hurt and relationships ruined. But I don't recall ever reading about a long term hobby relationship where the individuals involved don't become overly attached but still eagerly look forward to their next visit.

So, I'm curious... just how unique is this?

[Mokoa]

An ATF of mine and I have known each other for ten years. If done right, a long relationship like that can be a very good thing.

Unique? No. Rare? Definitely.

[TGF]

Long term relationships are a really good thing - and usually the interactions and enjoyments improve with time as well.

[Sensual Sophia]

I'm jealous!

Not of your dear sweet hobby GF... but more envious, in that I envy your successful arrangement. I would love to have that with someone. It's hard to see someone that often and not have boundary-crossing feelings develop with one or both parties.

[Guest061511-2]

I think it's a sign of intelligence and very good communication. You have to be a master at compartmentalizing feelings. It happens more frequently than you might think, but hasn't happend to me yet! I developed such a fondness for my atf that he could have very well been one of my best friends in the civi world. We are all just people here acting out our dysfunctions, fantasies, and what not.

[Nadiya]

VERY,VERY RARE
Many will say you are a VERY lucky man!
and I can say....

I have had a long term relationship half P4P half just the BEST BFE EVER!!!
in the hobby with 1 person.
I went UTR and my world stopped literally on a dime he was so awesome!
BUT.... He is married and I have been single since 05 so long story short EVERY one needs that knowledge that something lies beyond the P4P relationship.... just "MyHonestOpinion"
and Real love and/or relationships don't cost by the hour! omg who could afford that???

[sixxbach]

ztonk that sounds great man! as long as no boundaries are crossed. i pray i hit the lotto before my investments fully mature (years from now) so i can spoil a hot 19 year old....

[Whispers]

Congrats!

[JennsLolli]

Shhhhhh. The God of Jinx is listening. He's always always listening. When life hands you a pile of gold sprinkled with diamonds, wrapped up in a pretty little bow, it's best to keep it in a safe place. When you walk around asking for an appraisal on your nugget of good fortune, you might be inviting trouble!

Enough of that cryptic shit. So! It is rare, as everyone has stated, but I suppose it does happen. My best friend and closest partner in crime in my 100% real life is a boy I met on the old boards. Not an old client, so the P4P never came into question, but a hobby-bound friendship that successfully leaked over into the real world. He's met my family, he's been to every one of my apartments in the past few years, and once we went to Sea World.

I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to tempt Old Jinxy.

[Don T. Lukbak]

Girls, you know you special when he takes you and your mama to Disneyland. Ride that "small world" thrillride together.

[levibob56]

Its unique. And something i wish I had.

[Devynn von Tease]

I think it's awesome! I am envious, too. My concern would be with feelings getting in the way and maintaining boundaries while still allowing yourself to give yourself over to the other so freely at the same time. I agree it's a rare find. Enjoy it and make the most of it as long as you can!

[Miss Sophie Bella]

I thought and second-guessed half a dozen times before responding to this, but I wanted to add a few words.

I have been the very lucky and appreciative object of Ztonk's affections for three (wow!) fantastic years. He was one of my very first clients (sweetie, wasn't it my second week?) and I still remember our first date well. I won't try to create some tidbit of warm hobby wisdom about "how to make it work". Here's the big secret to the lasting, satisfying hobby partnership: amazing butt rubs. Ztonk gives the best. I will basically do anything to keep his hands on my rear at all times.

In addition to the addictive attention to my derriere, we're blessed with a high level of sexual and intellectual compatibility. On multiple levels, i just lucked out. The man is wonderful to me, treats me like a queen, but understands that the boundaries of our relationship protect us both. I think we've both been mature, thoughtful, generous partners to one another and have never taken the other for granted.

Speaking of which...Z, I can't wait to show you the special little outfit I got for our next date!

Happy Anniversary (almost) and thank you. Much love.

[TopWhop]

Interesting subject Mr “Z”. Thru this medium, I have a very special friend. I say friend because I feel she is my friend first, my lover second. And quite the lover she is. Every time with her is like the first time, it is that unique. We met over 3+ yrs ago, our communication level is extremely high, we talk about family, kids, jobs, life, experiences, dreams, hopes and desires. All of this trust is earned though time.
Often I will receive a text to say hi, thinking of you. I know it is not like, “hey when are you seeing me again” ?
I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine but,,,,,we know what it is, and what it never will be. I will say that if something happened in her world, that she would be welcomed in my life, she is a good woman inside with a wonderful heart. Yes, the sex is off the charts, it always has been, we push each other’s “envelope”. She never forgets my birthday, Valentine’s Day, X-Mass, etc,,,nor do I for her. Although there is a decade or so in age different, I still feel like I am 19 around her,,,,,,I will remain her friend because she will need me to get her through her most challenging years,,those terrible 40’s, lol.

For me personally, I strive to find that connection with all. I want to enjoy and love your mind, body and soul. Only then does one become two ! Thank you Miss “R”

[InU]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Congrats!

Is this the Whispers that we all know? One word? Dang............must of been from your I-phone at a strip club during a table dance. lol

It's so hard to get the LTR without feelings getting involved. We are creatures of emotion and usually that's what time can bring between a man and woman. I know I've had my fare share of feelings over the years with my encounters. I have avoided providers that I got the 'keeper feeling' with. I just didn't want to go there.
The hobby is just that, a hobby, so keep it real and you wont be disappointed. Remember, it's ALL about the $.