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06-21-2011, 04:23 AM
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#31
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BANNED
Join Date: Mar 14, 2011
Location: Welcome Sections
Posts: 35,944
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06-21-2011, 08:04 AM
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#32
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Sanity Check...
Join Date: Mar 31, 2010
Location: North texas
Posts: 12,569
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Still Looking
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God DAMN that was funny!!! Folks, this hobby would make a GREAT movie...
Still Looking, your little black book is getting way too much sun...
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06-21-2011, 12:40 PM
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#33
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BANNED
Join Date: Mar 14, 2011
Location: Welcome Sections
Posts: 35,944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prolongus
God DAMN that was funny!!! Folks, this hobby would make a GREAT movie...
Still Looking, your little black book is getting way too much sun...
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I reread my review, sorry for the typo's, but the two shots I think might have been more like 6 or 7! And my little black book.... Forest Gump said it best! "Life's like a box of chocolates... I hate chocolate, I like pussy!" Or something like that. Looking forward to my Dallas tour in July!
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06-21-2011, 08:30 PM
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#34
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HELL's bell ringer!!
User ID: 3067
Join Date: Dec 27, 2009
Location: Based in Missouri AND coming to play in your town soon!!!
Posts: 70,831
My ECCIE Reviews
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lol--this post is so funny...and sick....ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhh...l ol!!
I could write a book....but the worst was when i was giving a guy a really intense prostate massage when he "shorted" and gave me an accidental brown shower....thank god he was a regular client so we jumped in the shower and had a good scrub down!
{only later did i realize that I had to "throw my silk sheets in the trash...lol}
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06-21-2011, 10:37 PM
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#35
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 31, 2010
Location: West Texas
Posts: 872
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Wow, my gross encounter pales in comparison. Many years ago, I was in Vegas and a hot chick asks if I would spend the night. She was an absolute 10! Face, body, all perfect. Spend the night for 7 bens, Hell yeah! This girl was HOT. She was very affectionate, too.
We got to the room, got undressed. Covered up for some mish. wtf? I entered the loosest kitty on planet earth. Mr johnson isn't used to wobbling around to find the sides of a kitty when he's in. I guess she'd been fisted too much and was so streched out. What a shame.
It was pretty gross parking my limousine in an empty four car garage.
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06-25-2011, 05:06 PM
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#36
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Coppell TX
Posts: 664
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I don't know if it would qualify as being gross but it was to me. I saw an ad the other day for a lady I had last seen 6 or 7 years ago before she moved away. When I last saw her she was sexy as hell, big natural boobies and just enough meat elsewhere to give meaning to the word curves. She was also a hell of alot of fun and very nice and sweet. She was really a complete package and I had great memories of the times I saw her.
So I see her ad and was all excited about being able to see her again. I was a little concerned as she was posting the same pictures as before and listed her age as 22 which I knew wasn't anywhere close but I figure what the hell, how much could she have changed in 7 years? I call her up and she remembers me so we make a date. Typical deal when I get there, she stands behind the door as I walk into a dark room. Once my eyes adjust I get a good look and see she's as BIG AS A HOUSE! She has to be a deuce and a half! Her dress must have been made by Omar the tentmaker. I know there are guys that are into big women but I'm not one of them.
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06-25-2011, 09:41 PM
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#37
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 5, 2010
Posts: 25,367
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brass Balls
I don't know if it would qualify as being gross but it was to me. I saw an ad the other day for a lady I had last seen 6 or 7 years ago before she moved away. When I last saw her she was sexy as hell, big natural boobies and just enough meat elsewhere to give meaning to the word curves. She was also a hell of alot of fun and very nice and sweet. She was really a complete package and I had great memories of the times I saw her.
So I see her ad and was all excited about being able to see her again. I was a little concerned as she was posting the same pictures as before and listed her age as 22 which I knew wasn't anywhere close but I figure what the hell, how much could she have changed in 7 years? I call her up and she remembers me so we make a date. Typical deal when I get there, she stands behind the door as I walk into a dark room. Once my eyes adjust I get a good look and see she's as BIG AS A HOUSE! She has to be a deuce and a half! Her dress must have been made by Omar the tentmaker. I know there are guys that are into big women but I'm not one of them.
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TFF
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06-27-2011, 03:35 PM
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#38
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 45258
Join Date: Sep 16, 2010
Location: Dallas
Posts: 1,515
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brass Balls
. Once my eyes adjust I get a good look and see she's as BIG AS A HOUSE! She has to be a deuce and a half! Her dress must have been made by Omar the tentmaker. I know there are guys that are into big women but I'm not one of them.
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OMG!!! That's the funniest thing I've heard. How did you come up with that????? I can't stop laughing!!!!!! Huahahahahaa!!!!!
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06-27-2011, 04:05 PM
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#39
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 6, 2010
Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,880
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She farted while cumming from DATY and more than air.....emerged.
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06-27-2011, 07:09 PM
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#40
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Coppell TX
Posts: 664
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To be honest Samantha it's a saying I've had for so long I can't remember where I first heard it. Probably came from my father. Glad you liked it.
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06-27-2011, 11:15 PM
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#41
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Account Disabled
User ID: 2201
Join Date: Oct 31, 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 581
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Wow!
That sucks sorry that happened to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyToyota
I had a lady I visited last year who wasn't fresh when I went down for DATY. It really messed me up for awhile. I was scared to make the trip down again. I just knew I would get a whiff of rotten cooch!
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06-28-2011, 11:04 AM
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#42
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 14871
Join Date: Feb 16, 2010
Location: my TONGUE in your ass
Posts: 1,261
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
more than air.....emerged
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OMG
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06-28-2011, 11:36 AM
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#43
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Ambassador
Join Date: Jun 20, 2009
Location: walkin the tightrope
Posts: 3,065
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Some guys may occasionlly run into odors downstairs on a girl, specifically the kind where it smells like something crawled-up inside of their va-j-j and died. The most peculiar smell I caught, right before my mouth met a providers private area, was a distinct burned rubbery smell. It literally smelled like a rubber condom had melted in her twat. Talk about something that killed the DATY mood!
All I could keep thinking about during the rest of our session was "what guy could've put that much heat and friction into pounding that pussy, that he burned up a condom in there". It took a long time to get that image and smell out of my mind, to where I could go down on a provider without thinking about it beforehand, that is until thoughts of DATY were further ruined by the following...
Years ago during a session with another provider, the session started out with a mind blowing BJ that must have went on for at least 30 minutes. I was getting close to the point of no longer being able to hold back, so to keep from cumming halfway through the session, and that possibly ending our time together, I figured I'd give junior a rest and return the favor.
So I slowly headed down south, and just as my mouth was a few inches away from making contact with her cooch, she spread her legs wide, and out pops and becomes visible a white string, dangling straight out of her love canal. Surprised and shocked I starred at it for a split second, just to make sure I wasn't imagining what I was seeing, then quickly realized I wasn't. Talk about a DATY mood killer!
Having been grossed-out by both the experiences above, DATY has since become something I rarely think about or want with a provider.
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06-28-2011, 11:49 AM
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#44
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 45258
Join Date: Sep 16, 2010
Location: Dallas
Posts: 1,515
My ECCIE Reviews
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So I slowly headed down south, and just as my mouth was a few inches away from making contact with her cooch, she spread her legs wide, and out pops and becomes visible a white string, dangling straight out of her love canal. Surprised and shocked I starred at it for a split second, just to make sure I wasn't imagining what I was seeing, then quickly realized I wasn't. Talk about a DATY mood killer!
Having been grossed-out by both the experiences above, DATY has since become something I rarely think about or want with a provider.[/quote]
WHATT???? What was it??? Are you saying she was wearing tampon??? Bushaholic, your avatar is sooo cute! I love sheep!
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06-28-2011, 02:30 PM
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#45
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 13, 2010
Location: Dallas
Posts: 2,022
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I was sitting on the back of a Victorian wing back chair in a High 5 hotel incall getting a BBBJ. I don't have a ginormous pecker, but it's not thumb sized, either. The lady had the sniffles and went for a deep slurp and snorted down some snot at the same time and, with no notice at all, blew chunks all over my privates, the chair, even the blow back got her. It was one of those total gross out/funny as shit things. The visuals will be with me forever. Barf on my pubes, dripping from my pecker, barf on her face and in her hair...whew....and you know when somebody barfs in close proximity it takes a powerful lot of self control not to chime in. I didn't. Maybe I threw up a little in my mouth later but I was too busy laughing at time of impact to hurl in response.
Funny or not, it isn't something I feel the urge to repeat.
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