"give me a blowjob" joke

[Harley*Jayden]

One night, a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss eachother goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you insane? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on, no one's gonna see us at this hour."
"No, please. Can you imagine if we got caught?" "Oh, come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way, it's just too risky!" "Oh PLEASE? I love you sooo much!" "No, no, and no! I just can't." "I beg you..." Suddenly, the lights come on downstairs and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. and in a sleepy voice says. "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if need to be, Mom can come down to do it. But for God's sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom so we can go back to sleep!"

[Iron Chef]

The video version of the joke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QJsiI3862Y

[dogsmack]

here's another. I would tell it, but it's better when it comes from a cute girl...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0HUy...eature=related

[elgato111]

Thanks Jazzy, that made my day.

[Iaintliein]

A young man told his new wife that he would really like a blow job.

Being young, sweet and innocent (like so many of the ladies here) she confessed ignorance of what a "blow job" and of how to perform one.

He explained it as best he could on his way out the door to work and suggested she practice on the ketchup bottle till he got home.

"Have you figured it out?," he asked upon his return.

Grinning slyly she confirmed that she had practiced all day and now knew exactly what to do.

As he reclined in anxious anticipation, she lovely caressed his throbbing member, gingerly flicking the tip with her tongue before slowly circling the head with same. . . then she grasped it firmly at the base and started slapping the hell out of his swollen head, "if I hit it hard enough I know I can get that shit out of there!"

[mmcqtx]

I swear the doctor is saying "Take it all you little biatch, deeper!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHpH...eature=related

[Great White Buffalo]

A truck driver see a young woman standing on the railing of a bridge so he stops and asks her what she is doing and she reply's "I'm going to commit suicide."

So he say's "well before you do why don't you give me a blowjob" so she agrees and gives him the best head he has ever had.

After she is done he says "why would you want to die, you have a great talent." As she looks up and wipes off her mouth she says "because my parents don't like it when I dress up as a girl."

[tsrv4me]

The small little sperm was working out in the training room .....all the other sperm laughed at him ...BUT he said he was going to be the one that fertilized that precious egg and make something of his short life ...so he kept working out and running to be in tip top shape when the time came to do his stuff ...Then it happened ...his world started to rumble and shake ....He was at the front of thed line holding the others back ...and then He started his journey down the long dark tube He was running as fast as he could distancing himself from the others .He was so proud .He was going to be THE FIRST one there....the others had fallen way behind him .....But suddenly the others os him running back toward them Screaming and hollering and waving his arms....go back GO BACK he was screaming ..... False alarm false alarm ..IT'S A BLOW JOB

[Hillbilly]

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?




Because she knows she's given her last blow job!!!

[Nitwitboy]

What's the difference between your wife and your job after three years?

Your Job still sucks.

[FishGuy13]

OHhh I needed that!