playing favorites

[secondHandNews]

A few questions for the guys who have favorite providers... How many favorites do you have? How often do you visit them? What distinguishes them from the run-of-the-mill providers? More importantly, do you ever find yourself having to do an emotional reset so that, for example, you don't catch feelings for them? If so, how do you reset? Stop visiting/contacting them? See other providers? Step away from the hobby?

Feel free to give your favorites a shoutout! lol

[dormGE]

Favorite = Jaylowe!
1. https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2956940
2. https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2958654
3. https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2959044

[GL page]

Dude, we all know.

I have always tended to rotate through a small group (1-3 providers at a time, usually weekly visits). One of them is my all time ATF that I don’t foresee ever stopping visiting - we just click on all levels and I’ve seen her over 30 times so I know it’s mutual. We are smart enough to keep boundaries and not catch true feels although we both have “crushes” on each other and send texts unrelated to scheduling. We both know the boundaries (that neither can ever act on feelings) and we respect that.

I have had a provider catch feels and I stopped seeing her .

I read a post here about the hobby being transitory - you can burst into peoples lives, share intense memories and experiences, and then you or they disappear with no warning and never to be seen again. It’s so true

[sweet_k47]

Yes I have an ATF , only one I see any more. Been that way for years.

But you always have to keep things in the proper perspective.

Do I care for this lady yes, does she dare for me,yes but it is purely hobby related, I see her when I can not set schedule as both our lives are busy and it is hard fo4 me to get away now days but when we do get together it is fun

[secondHandNews]

Originally Posted by GL page

Dude, we all know.

Dorm, your posts are a big part of what got me thinking about this! lol

I have always tended to rotate through a small group (1-3 providers at a time, usually weekly visits). One of them is my all time ATF that I don’t foresee ever stopping visiting - we just click on all levels and I’ve seen her over 30 times so I know it’s mutual. We are smart enough to keep boundaries and not catch true feels although we both have “crushes” on each other and send texts unrelated to scheduling. We both know the boundaries (that neither can ever act on feelings) and we respect that.

GL, thanks for your perspective. I've had someone in the past similar to what you describe with your ATF. Saw her numerous times; each time was a unique and exciting experience. I knew in my mind that this was a hobby. But when she would mention other lovers, or when I would see reviews on her or notice her P4 OK count increasing, what I knew about the hobby didn't matter. That "protector instinct" was an indication that I needed to step away, and so I wouldn't contact her for several weeks. I needed to let my feelings reset.

I'm always amazed at how you and others can visit your favorite providers so often. I'm assuming you can compartmentalize your feelings, even knowing that the things she does with you, she's likely doing with other guys as well. I once turned down a provider who offered me a weekly special, specifically because I feared catching feelings by seeing her that often.

Sometimes I don't click with a provider, even though we have a great time; I have no problems moving on in that case. It's the ones I DO click with and want to see again that I have a problem with.. lol. I was just curious what actions you take to ensure natural feelings of (gulp) jealousy, protection, and a desire for deeper connection don't get in the way of continuing to see your faves. For example, a veteran told me long ago that, after a great visit, the wisest thing to do is see other 2-3 other girls before you visit your fav again. It might seem like a waste of time and money (because you want to spend it on her instead), but it's the best way to keep your mind and emotions guessing. Perhaps I should take his advice.

[Wile E Coyote]

Of actual providers who members on adult boards, p411, tryst, ect. I have 4.

What sets them apart in that I keep coming back to see them for sessions is that they are mentally there in the session with me and not like a mannequin, does not do activities just to check a box off, but rather makes me feel like a man and seemingly enjoys doing so. Most importantly, treats me as if she is glad I am there with here instead like I am another guy going through the rotating door of johns that come see her.

Feelings of genuine companionship is a must, a lust for a good time and all but real feelings of love never crosses my mind. I know many providers emotionally check out as soon as the clothes come off and the broken record services commence. The ladies I see regularly know I am not going to fall in love nor contact them out of the blue just to see how they are doing. They know the score as well, so that is why that guard is down for the most part so that they can relax and enjoy themselves instead of being standoffish and uptight about a client who may come back and be her stalker. The ladies get paid to make sure you have a good time, they do not love you.

[secondHandNews]

Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote

What sets them apart in that I keep coming back to see them for sessions is that they are mentally there in the session with me and not like a mannequin, does not do activities just to check a box off, but rather makes me feel like a man and seemingly enjoys doing so. Most importantly, treats me as if she is glad I am there with here instead like I am another guy going through the rotating door of johns that come see her.

I really like your summary description, Wile E, and couldn't agree more.

I also totally understand and agree that their job is not to love me, and I would never ask/expect any of them to do so. But their feelings towards me don't dictate my feelings towards them. I think it's natural that the more you are intimate
with a woman, especially one with whom you click, the more your own feelings want to gravitate to her, regardless of her profession. It's easy to say, "Sex workers are recreational use only." But when you find one that you click with, I think it's harder to see them only as such.

For providers, I think their body count in the hobby allows them to keep their feelings in check. They don't have time to process any feelings of attraction because the next appointment is later that day or the next. The vast majority of guys aren't in the same position. They're not being intimate with 20+ women a month as providers are with their admirers. So that means they need to deal with those feelings in a different way. This was part of my original question: You've gained a favorite. Now how do you keep your feelings of love/jealousy/connection in check so you can continue to see her? What do you do, since you probably aren't seeing 20 other women that month? Is it simply "mind over matter," or are there actions you take to help compartmentalize those emotions?

[hunttolive]

I have two ATFs. One of them is the longest I have seen a provider, going on four years. The other I started seeing last August.

I see each on a weekly rotating basis and have developed an easy rapport with each and they both know how I like my sessions, my mood going into them, and how the sessions need to go based on my needs. I try to treat them well and if the risks approached zero in being out in public with them would not mind taking them out on an informal basis. That being said, not gonna happen.

Would I want more? No, do I expect more? No. Although we are comfortable with with each other it is a transactional relationship and there are always red lines not to be crossed.

[Bushjumper]

For me an ATF is a young, very attractive lady, who is very good in bed, and does not give me X-wife vibes. Currently, I have 2.