Dinner and Overnights...What are the expectations from both sides?

[Smurfydoesdallas]

Hiya!

I've been in the hobby a long while now. I've always felt like dinner type dates or overnights would be disrespectful to anyone I'm dating. And I was raising children.

But, now that I'm going on 6 years single, I realize that I miss the flirting and intimacy that comes (hopefully) with those sessions.

There's a certain sexual energy that comes with flirting for a bit before doing the dirty. And the tease of it all is what I want most. That's my turn on.

So my questions go on both side of the aisle.

What are your expectations?

If you do dinner and play,is it normal to ask for less for the time out of the bedroom?

Is dancing ever involved or requested?

When do you sleep on overnights?
Is the expectations to wake up multiple times through the night, or do you stay up?

Is their alcohol involved and does anyone ever over indulge to the point of problematic?

Where do these sessions take place? Home or hotel?

What is the expectations of multi hour discounts?

How do you know you can spend a whole night with a person? Do you do an hour meeting before or is it usually someone you know and see regularly?

And last, does anyone have positive or negative stories to share?


Thanks everyone! I'll be at home alone this weekend so I look forward to hearing thoughts.

[mtabsw]

Tough question - I haven't had many but wildly different.

One HDH gave me a "Great" deal - 4x her normal hourly for 4 hours and then spent most of it talking to her GF who "happened" to be there at the restaurant with her BF and sat next at next table. When she did talk with me it was all about her, how many properties she owned around the world, etc etc - BCD was surprisingly good, but I never wanted to see her again and have to listen to her talk about herself.

One of my ATFs, Caitie Mae, actually took me to dinner on my birthday - and gave me a very thoughtful gift and a helluva roll when we went back to her place. No charge for dinner time.

Obviously I prefer the latter, but I understand this is a business for the girls. I really think they shouldn't take their full fee to be wined and dined.

My advice would be only go with people you know so you can have an extended conversation over dinner. Despite the "professional" rule - I'd also advise both should have some kind feelings toward the other.

In the ultimate fantasy, I took a girl I'd seen many times for a week of SCUBA diving in Aruba. Everything was on me of course, but since she was a diver, I didn't have to pay for each session, just a K for the week. Gawd I miss her.

[Harpoon]

Hi Smurfy,

I have done many overnights when I travel. I would suggest a heavy multi-hour discount if you think you would enjoy that type of thing, especially if you are going to go the “7-8” hours of uninterrupted sleep” or demand an outing route. It is an immediate deal killer for me when I see high multi hour rate and then a lot of demands on how that time will be used. For me it is either a high multi hour rate and you can hit it for as long as you like any way you like or a low multi hour rate with some demands.

I would not do any multi hours visits with at least some shorter visits first. Most of the time I have parted with the provider closer than when we started but there have been times where we probably should have just stuck with 30mins!

All that aside.. your hot as shit!

[Smurfydoesdallas]

Thanks for the info fellas! I think you spoke to my biggest fear....what if you dislike the person? Lol. I can spend an hour with anyone, but letting them touch my butt while I'm sleeping is a whole new thing. I think I'll just stick without overnights right now and seek out a few trips to the swingers club at a discount rate. That way there is no disappointment and some really hot stuff to watch and do
This weather change makes me want to do it outside or in public. Lol.

[swamptech]

expectations? participate and engage your host

I have yet to schedule "just fucking" time. Usually only book 1.5-2 hrs a session, because I enjoy the seduction/foreplay involved. I've only ever hosted at upscale suites, but almost did one at the house this week.

Food and drinks always is a winner, particularly light snacking / small portion options. The mood "happens" more passionately when there is no stopwatch. Tailoring the selections (and/or gifts) to the guest (without asking) is always fun to maybe show that you appreciate what they provide. I've found with quality providers it makes a BIG difference blowing them away with affection. Ultimately, these are gimmicks/trinkets to distract one another from reality and gives you both something to talk about. I swear providers get as much pleasure from an admirer actually reading their ads as I get from them sucking my dick.

Regardless of who the provider is, there is/should be at least a brief magic moment when you first meet like Christmas Eve. You're two strangers, eager to give to the other and anticipating nothing but a positive outcome. Its the very best of what relationships are (all of the good, none of the bad). Time, expectations, judgment is what clouds that Nirvana, so it comes down to HOW can you hold that feeling/moment in an encounter? For me, its always 1-ensure their safety / don't break boundaries 2-ensure they are rewarded (no haggling, be generous) 3-appreciate them (savor the artistry that is uniquely theirs /don't critique and expect them to be something they're not)

I tried an overnight with a provider I had history with only to have her (intentionally) have a psychotic breakdown not long after settling in to purposely END the appointment. This provider turned out to be a NIGHTMARE that I was just too naïve to pull the plug on earlier. I've done the exact scenario with other quality providers and they treated me with so much appreciation and 'love' that we vibed extremely well. I would pay for 2 hours of time and they would freely provide 4-5 hours of 'time'. Its remarkable how tolerable and understanding people can be with one another in a focused few hours together. Those sessions that "worked" (and there are many) we've developed a strong mutual respect and friendship beyond the sessions, both completely understanding of each other's role (sans social/cultural lenses). One in particular was with a provider i had frequented once before and hosted her at a AirBnB that was kitted out. She showed up, cooked her dinner, sampled some champagne and GOT TO IT....but she wasn't about to leave, so I fixed her a bubble bath, served her some more champagne and cake to relax....giving us both time to recharge. Came back and we explored another bedroom and got off again. In short, we both come away feeling pampered by the other. Its remarkable when a STRANGER will provide that for you. These vignettes are more rewarding than actual 'real' dates, probably because you both know there is a beginning and an end, its all a masquerade and there are no long-term ramifications/expectations tomorrow.

On retrospect, I don't think I'd really be interested in a true "overnight". I don't need anyone to sleep next to and wouldn't feel comfortable without intentionally closing the session (by seeing you out) before nodding off.

Its to the point now where I offer several envelopes to choose what she wants to fulfill in an evening to make things much smoother. It helps to know what you clearly want out of a session and work to ensure that is fulfilled. I don't need a provider wasting time trying to figure my tastes out. I have no problem defining exactly what I'm after within the first 5 minutes of meeting (nothing explicit, just "this, this and this are what set me over the edge"). When I do a session, its because I need to recharge with strong feminine energy. If I were still married and around a woman all the time, this wouldn't be true and I'd just want a beanbag pussy to pound. Connecting/Vibing with a confident woman completes a man (particularly when she serves him) and makes the release of sexual energy more fulfilling.

[bobbyb1234]

Smurf, you're not alone in your thoughts. Many low-volume providers offer a multi-hour discount, and or strictly social time. Sometimes, it'll be 2 hours together, then 1.5 at a new restaurant etc. It's all depending on the vibe you get like swamp mentioned. It doesn't always have to be super fancy, even half priced apps at chili's with the right person is fun.

Keep the vibe going, chat with your regulars or those you'd actually want to be seen in public with, set it up!

[tyrion23]

I’ve done multiple overnights and outings. I would never do them with someone I’ve never met. I prefer longer sessions because I’m a talker and don’t like to rush so normally do two or three hour session. Once I am comfortable with someone and if there is something I want to do then I discuss it with them. I would never pay a normal hourly rate for a multi-hour session. I only see providers who offer 2 or 3 hour discounts to begin with though so doing a 8-12 hr session would be something we discuss. Seeing each other a few times before doing an extended session like that also gives the provider a good feel for me and what to expect so they can determine if they are comfortable or not.

[DallasRain]

I luv going to dinner w gents

I only add a small fee on top of my twohour deal cause I enjoy dressing up and getting a good steak!

some really memorable dinner dates i have had were with a sweet older gent on here.. we would go to places like Hooters otlr Twin Peaks and flirt with the waitresses!!

[The Queen Sophie]

I have done several overnights/dinner dates w/overnights with 1st time and regulars, and I ALWAYS offer a discount ('cuz I'm not a greedy bitch) with both.

While it's fun and exciting , there's a lot to do and while everyone may think there's "play all night" that's far from the truth...unless of course you and your partner are really into each other, but mostly it's meet, go for drinks/diner, piddle around, get back to room, relax and let dinner settle, play at will, sleep, wake up, morning play (but not everytime unless date wants to) sometimes breakfast, chill and get ready to depart.

I'm not a morning person, (but I know before I fall asleep whether or not there will be "morning fun"expected).

Most people (men) have the idea that since it's an overnight, your expected to fuck the entire night...not true. Sleeping does happen, unless you don't want to. It's all up to the 2 people involved.

But when it comes to $ that I will be leaving with...I don't expect anyone to pay me while I sleep. It's not like I would have the opportunity to take an appointment between midnight/10 am anyway so....

And just ya know ....if you snore, my happy ass is on the couch...just sayin ��

[DallasRain]

lol I snore!! And drool!

[petitefunlady]

I don't do overnights, but I LOVE dinner and drinks or drinks/apps and chatting. This is my favorite type of encounter. It's so FN fun!!!! I don't want to sleep with anyone ....I like my own bed!

[regalbeagal43]

Originally Posted by Smurfydoesdallas

Thanks for the info fellas! I think you spoke to my biggest fear....what if you dislike the person? Lol. I can spend an hour with anyone, but letting them touch my butt while I'm sleeping is a whole new thing. I think I'll just stick without overnights right now and seek out a few trips to the swingers club at a discount rate. That way there is no disappointment and some really hot stuff to watch and do
This weather change makes me want to do it outside or in public. Lol.

Where are the swingers clubs!!!!

[thewoodthatcould]

Originally Posted by The Queen Sophie

I have done several overnights/dinner dates w/overnights with 1st time and regulars, and I ALWAYS offer a discount ('cuz I'm not a greedy bitch) with both.

While it's fun and exciting , there's a lot to do and while everyone may think there's "play all night" that's far from the truth...unless of course you and your partner are really into each other, but mostly it's meet, go for drinks/diner, piddle around, get back to room, relax and let dinner settle, play at will, sleep, wake up, morning play (but not everytime unless date wants to) sometimes breakfast, chill and get ready to depart.

I'm not a morning person, (but I know before I fall asleep whether or not there will be "morning fun"expected).

Most people (men) have the idea that since it's an overnight, your expected to fuck the entire night...not true. Sleeping does happen, unless you don't want to. It's all up to the 2 people involved.

But when it comes to $ that I will be leaving with...I don't expect anyone to pay me while I sleep. It's not like I would have the opportunity to take an appointment between midnight/10 am anyway so....

And just ya know ....if you snore, my happy ass is on the couch...just sayin ��

I have a CPAP machine and let me tell you that NOTHING screams sexy about that once it's time to sleep (unless you have a Bane from Batman fetish). I appreciate your take on the expectation of compensation while sleeping. If I have an overnight date, I put my machine on and I sleep on my side of the bed to avoid any conflict of interest. I get hot and aroused easily. Morning play is usually better than the previous night. My not so subtle hint if I'll willing to cut my loses is to leave my mask off since I cut down forests in my sleep.

[dogfart]

It sounds like you need to accompany your boss on a business trip. ��

[tyrion23]

I will add that I rarely sleep during an overnight but it’s not a have sex all night either. Usually I do these if we’re doing an event or date night. When we get back in it’s usually a combination of fun and “hanging out” which usually includes chatting, listening to music, videos, movie, etc.

The provider will usually head out when she’s getting tired but still feels awake enough to drive home safely. I have had providers “nap” fall asleep for a couple hours then wake up and head home but that’s only happened twice. Usually the date heads out when they get tired and want to head home to sleep.

As long as you already have an established good relationship communication is key and it’s usually a pretty natural action on how long someone stays and when they head home.