Pre-Hobbying Rituals and something I always wanted to happen..but hasn’t.

[albundy]

Any rituals, or things you do to prepare before going to a “date?”

For me, a couple of days before I know I’m fucking, I make sure and jerk off at least once, preferably twice a day. Need to make sure Al Jr. isn’t quick on the draw. Make sure I have wipes, towels, and soap packed up. Then before I leave and I know the exact time of the appointment, I try to calculate the travel time, small talk, etc. to figure out exactly when to take a Viagra for maximum steel. Can’t show up and have the turtle effect going on.
Especially when it’s a situation when I am there and the chick’s “roommate,” who is a guy, could show up anytime. Have all of my toiletries and clothes where I can grab them so I can haul ass if a quick exit becomes necessary.
The albundy whoring ritual.

One thing I so want to happen is to show up at a chick’s hotel room or place, she opens the door wearing sexy lingerie…and then 70’s porn music kicks in. Like in that cheesy movie “Machete.” Every time he is about to get laid, 70’s porn music kicks in. I need this to happen.

Sigh. One day, man. One day.

https://youtu.be/SbBi2j_HLTc

[bluebiker]

Damn Al, the older I get the harder it is for me to nut. So I make sure I don’tt jerk off for a couple of days. Don’t need the viagra, that part still working at this point. But I keep the wipes in the truck all the time just in case.

[Dr-epg]

Moved to correct forum

[Joe Blows]

Wipes, towels, soap, toiletries, extra clothes? It has never crossed my mind to bring any of that.

[DallasRain]

Al,you sound like my kinda guy!!!
lol

I like to have a table decorated in my room..it includes decor for the "season"... like mardi gras knicknacks or halloween skull decor or summer type knickknacks....candles included
and then put my disco ball on to accent the room.

[gimme_that]

Outcall so I need more stuff for a good time.

1. Definitely don’t masterbate before your appointment. Who wants to be less excited? Can’t be messing up the money shots on camera later lol.

2. Fan out her money for the night or weekend on the dresser in a cool shape or words.

3. Make sure the liquor options in the room match the options in the street to keep the party going for the litty ones.

4. I ask ahead for her favorite snacks. Try to put her on some she never heard of.

5. One of my signatures I like to do is give them something useful that most wouldn’t think of. A tongue brush, and tongue scrubber, tongue foam. Etc. or maybe asking what is a favorite neutral body soap they prefer so her night bag for the night could be a little lighter. And have good strong baby wipes (dresser, bathroom) and have fabreeze.

6. Tip housekeeping to get a shit load of extra towels and sheets for the squirters.

7. Have a cooler for the drinks. Fruit and juice in fridge or cheese cake. Left over food from restaurant. Because if she’s actually waking up during hotel breakfast time I didn’t put in enough work through out the last night lol.

8. Come with an appetite and both sober for mutual tipsy maybe. Or else the dinner date and/or semi-post coitus leftovers at 2am won’t make sense to have.

9. I prefer a fresh haircut the day of or only a day before.

10. Clothing options ready for different venues.

[Ballistixz]

I make sure not to masturbate for atleast a week or two. I don't need to worry about being too quick, infact with my death grip syndrome i welcome the quick release. What matters to me the most is the quantity of that release and the reaction they give when i release it wherever i please :^)

[Joe Blows]

Interesting how different people are. I could not care any less about how much cum comes out or what a woman thinks about it and I haven’t gone more than a day without jerking off in 40 years.

[CashEnvelope]

similar to Gimme Dat.
1. I don't eat 24 hrs before and usually take a laxative early the day before to make sure I'm primed for maximum physical output.
2. completely shaved at least 2 weeks prior.
3. Usually hosting, so its check-in then 2 hrs prior to the meet is an intense shower with a Betadine scrub. Very light cologne, if any.
4. 1 hr before, yoga/stretch to be limber, relaxed and ready to perform
5. Always have a gift bag with shoes, something personal for them and a few blunts.
6. If I don't know what they like to drink, I bring Prosecco, Vodka, water, seltzer alcohol / juice.
7. I do the charcuterie board if we're doing wine or just some sushi/dessert if not
8. Skyn condoms hidden under the pillows, sheets, mattress for quick access.
9. Cash is fanned out in an elegant envelope in the bathroom.
10. First time meeting, I've done this enough times that I have a 6 min monologue I go through to put them at ease and set the expectations so there's no pressure for them to figure me out or perform.
11. I always overdress for the occasion. Nothing less than a suit to greet, unless its a massage...in which case its just pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.
12. Outcalls, I'm hosting in a multi-room suite, so the lounge area has the drinks, but the bedroom has a dozen votive candles and a lavender scented candle.

Don't sleep on the Zinc. I probably do 200 - 500mg / day - we're talking a Tongan volcano when its erupts. No joke, that many girls comment on how cool it is to see something so powerful. I think I get off on their reaction more than the feeling of it. Also I'm gonna have a miserable time if I'm touching it less than a week away and START cialis/viagra a day BEFORE and will pop 2 or 3 in the 24 hr span prior to the meet. I used to do this EVERY weekend. Now not so much, but its a twice daily thing of moisturizing the cock with coconut oil / zinc oxide to get the skin primed for maximum FEELING.
You get in what you put in. If you're not seeing 10/10 dimes, then you have yourself to blame if you're not fully enjoying the sensual pleasure you're paying for.

[Footfein75]

Cpl shots of whisky if im going to her place....she coming to me...cpl good stiff drinks .to get ole whisly dick happening

[albundy]

Originally Posted by CashEnvelope

1. I don't eat 24 hrs before and usually take a laxative early the day before to make sure I'm primed for maximum physical output.

Wait a minute there “Cash Envelope.”

“Take a laxative?!?” Who is fucking who?

Also, I question the truth of your entire post. A gift bag with expensive shoes, an hour of yoga, an alcohol bar, sushi and dessert, and a fancy suit seems like overkill just to see a trailer park tranny.

[Joe Blows]

Originally Posted by albundy

Wait a minute there “Cash Envelope.”

“Take a laxative?!?” Who is fucking who?

He’s fucking with you Al.

[albundy]

Originally Posted by Joe Blows

He’s fucking with you Al.

Not so sure. This is the same guy who copied and pasted a “Rest Of Story” from a review of a woman, to use on his review of a trans woman.

[Joe Blows]

It’s a fake account and he/she is fucking around.

[CashEnvelope]

Originally Posted by albundy

to see a trailer park tranny.

we all don't see the $5 tramps you do, Al.
Save up your shoe sales and get your truck fixed.

Originally Posted by albundy

I question the truth of your entire post.

you say this anytime someone actually has a positive experience with a woman.
Maybe not everyone is as pathetic as your life