If you say so

[Strokey_McDingDong]

I enjoy Indian food. I actually ate some tandoori chicken today. I don't think what I eat is really going to make a difference.

I had some flu-like symptoms this afternoon, which made me think that maybe I contracted COVID, but as of right now, I feel completely normal except for pissing out my asshole and my guts constantly bubbling.

It's weird because, as I mentioned before, I've been self quarantined, for the most part. If it's a flu-like viral infection, then probability says it's likely COVID, right? But, maybe I contracted something from eating a bunch of organic fruits the other week to cure my constipation.

Looking on the bright side, I am definitely not constipated anymore. The slight pain I had in my lower right abdomen has completely disappeared. So far, whatever I eat is clearly identifiable the next morning. I will have one solid shit and the rest of the day is liquid. So, things are definitely not backed up. However, this is a bit extreme. I do not not enjoy pissing out of my asshole.

I could also have spontaneously gotten IBS. Who knows. The poop sample is being processed.

[winn dixie]

Originally Posted by Tiny

More good advice from the eccie brain trust. Charmin beats the hell out of single ply toilet tissue when you’re crapping ten times a day. I would argue for wet paper towels with no soap instead of wet wipes - the soap can irritate the anus. Wipe gently.

And at the risk of stating the obvious don’t flush them down the commode. I shouldn’t have to say that, but McDingDong is not exercising good judgement. Curry! My goodness.

lol I started to post about not flushing the wet wipes. They do however make some that are flushable.

[rexdutchman]

Indian food ,,,,, LMAO

[Strokey_McDingDong]

I actually a lot of the time hop in the shower and rinse my ass off instead of using toilet paper. Toilet paper causes dingleberries and also irritates your anal skin, especially if your using a lot of it. Rinsing your asshole in the shower has the benefit of fully cleaning the area, absolutely no skin irritation caused by the friction between a piece of toilet paper and your asshole, and saves the trees.

My assholes is shaven, so I don't get dingleberries, but the main benefit here is not irritating your skin. It's like when you have a cold and you sneeze 100 times, your nose becomes irritated due to rubbing it constantly with a Kleenex. Similarly, if you are shit pissing, your asshole will become irritated due to continuously trying to rub the shit off of it with toilet paper. I'm sure wet wipes will have the same affect.

Call me a faggot, but a bidet is probably the most technologically advanced solution. This will be followed by air drying in the year 3000.

[winn dixie]

I hate it when I get outta the shower and have to shit!
Kinda nullifies the shower.

[eccieuser9500]

Originally Posted by Strokey_McDingDong

Call me a faggot, . . .

If you say so.

[winn dixie]

Oh yeah. The warmth for one another in this thread warms my heart! I can feel it flowing through my keyboard.

[Strokey_McDingDong]

Diarrhea is minimal today. I think I had a combination of severe constipation, probably caused by a shitty diet, followed by some kind of viral infection.

[eccieuser9500]

I miss TWK too.

[royamcr]

You got nothing on the turd statue I left at a local microcenter. Wish I had my phone on me, it was pretty epic. The fucker landed on the bottom of the bowl and stood straight up out of the water about 4". Tried to flush it a few times. I just left it and couldn't stop laughing about what a worker will say when they see it.

Originally Posted by Strokey_McDingDong

My shit was the optimal soft served ice cream today. I am also not experiencing any abdominal pain at the moment. Seems like things are going back to normal. I've no idea what triggered it. I think it could be diet related. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow just to make sure.

My asshole is feeling pretty good. There was no burning. I shaved in-between my crack, just because I don't like getting dingle berries, and it makes wiping and rinsing the shit off easier. It's smooth. Looks appropriately brown and puckered. I'm looking at a diameter of roughly 3-4 inches, which is a little tight but good. I am following new CDC guidelines which recommends using a butt plug and it is sitting firmly in place. If there is a second lockdown, I am confident I can dilate anywhere from 5 to 6 inches and accompany something more substantial.

[winn dixie]

Could of put your mask on it to make it look like a pirate ship

[eccieuser9500]

Originally Posted by winn dixie

Could of put your mask on it to make it look like a pirate ship

Wouldn't that have made it a pirate shit?

[Strokey_McDingDong]

WRONG!!!!

[winn dixie]

Originally Posted by eccieuser9500

Wouldn't that have made it a pirate shit?

Argh matey. Dont slip on the poop deck

[dilbert firestorm]

SMDD, I am not praying for your filthy ass!