Returning after being caught by SO

[Middle TN Guy]

My SO discovered my activities. I had to turn over all of my accounts and passwords. She got a COMPLETE view of what I had done.

But over time, I determined that I wanted to return to the hobby. So I'm back, with new account names, and have already reached out to some of my previous providers. But I have lost all of my old reviews and some of the ladies find me too radioactive for their tastes.

For others who have walked my path, how long does it take to get back into the swing of things? I was a relatively low volume participant that references was always a tough thing BEFORE I lost my history. Now I feel like I am starting from scratch.

[leelo_huna]

Aloha, in my Opinion Just Stay Reaching out to Previous Providers , If Chivarly was at its peek they will definitely get back to you real soon or Start with Newbie Friendly Providers and Review everychance you get , slowly but surely it will get back up there....
Hope to Run across your Path...

Mahalo- Xoxo

[dgc92]

Talk to a few who might remember you. If they'll still be references, great. If not, you're right, you start from scratch. If it helps, I've found the black girls almost never ask for references. Get reestablished with a few of them. Also, I know from experience KaitlynDior is newbie friendly.

[ScrewDriver01]

Leelo nailed it !! Perfectly said !! Op - no body better than Leelo to start your 2nd innings !!

[GingerKatt]

Originally Posted by ScrewDriver01

Leelo nailed it !! Perfectly said !! Op - no body better than Leelo to start your 2nd innings !!

Yes, Leelo is a nice lady and has a great reputation as a very talented provider. And she’s very hot!!!
But just be aware that not all providers are reference friendly. I always put reminders in my phone under their contact info, because it can be difficult to remember every one who visits, and I’m always reference friendly. So if you need references just be sure to ask.

[Brayzen]

Originally Posted by Middle TN Guy

My SO discovered my activities. I had to turn over all of my accounts and passwords. She got a COMPLETE view of what I had done.

But over time, I determined that I wanted to return to the hobby. So I'm back, with new account names, and have already reached out to some of my previous providers. But I have lost all of my old reviews and some of the ladies find me too radioactive for their tastes.

For others who have walked my path, how long does it take to get back into the swing of things? I was a relatively low volume participant that references was always a tough thing BEFORE I lost my history. Now I feel like I am starting from scratch.

I, being on the other end of the hobby... had to do prettty much the same. It wasn’t due to a SO finding out, as I don’t have one... but a family member betrayed my trust, so basically had to start over also. I too, am starting from scratch. It’s hard. I had many reviews which were all great. I always gave 100 % as to make a great name for myself. I’ve found that being gone for almost a year and trying to start with a new showcase, it’s almost not even worth it to me. New number, new name, and the game has changed. Even when I tell the gentleman who show interest, the name I used to go by, it doesn’t help as they can’t see the reviews, or find that old profile.
So... I feel your pain.
I’ve learned a valuable lesson,it being, trust no one. Even those you thought you should and could trust with your life. When it comes to secrets, they will be revealed when it’s self serving. Discretion is paramount for me, as well as for those that I see. I do have a different method of screening other than relying on ones previous encounters, but it’s pretty invasive. And I’m sure that after what you’ve been through, you’re very apprehensive about what info you share. But... if you’re going to stay in the hobby, can’t you give the ladies that you want to see, references from others that you saw under the old identity? Just explain that you had to start over? Or have you tried that and it isn’t working ? Good luck to you.

[Fizley]

Check and see if there are any Social events related to the hobby in the area. If providers can see you in person and talk with you they might be more inclined to session with you without reference

[CRISTY-CUPPS]

Brayzen, thank you for sharing! a much needed reminder for me about trust NO ONE- I was also betrayed, by a neighbor years back and had to move and start all over again. I didn't lose all of my reviews I have a few here at eccie still. but things have really changed over the years for sure

[geezer1948]

Originally Posted by Middle TN Guy

I was a relatively low volume participant that references was always a tough thing BEFORE I lost my history. Now I feel like I am starting from scratch.

I can sympathize with the reference business. I only get the chance to hobby once or twice a year, plus I am old, so I am constantly a newbie even though I've been hobbying longer than most of today's providers have been alive.

Providers are often a little more flexible than they let on. If you can get a conversation started, be polite, offer a public meeting of their choice near their incall. You're going to have to make an investment in effort to find a middle ground where you both feel safe.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Middle TN Guy

My SO discovered my activities. I had to turn over all of my accounts and passwords. She got a COMPLETE view of what I had done.

But over time, I determined that I wanted to return to the hobby. So I'm back, with new account names, and have already reached out to some of my previous providers. But I have lost all of my old reviews and some of the ladies find me too radioactive for their tastes.

For others who have walked my path, how long does it take to get back into the swing of things? I was a relatively low volume participant that references was always a tough thing BEFORE I lost my history. Now I feel like I am starting from scratch.

You are starting from scratch. It does not pay to be stupid and careless. Yet, here you are ... again. Your SO has more than enough to brow beat you into the next century and yet here you are publicly admitting ... You think your SO is going to let you off? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You either need to do some research, maybe 20 seconds, and learn how to start over. How about asking your SO to be a reference for you?

[Ed Highlight]

Originally Posted by pyramider

...Yet, here you are ... again. Your SO has more than enough to brow beat you into the next century and yet here you are publicly admitting ... You think your SO is going to let you off? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You either need to do some research, maybe 20 seconds, and learn how to start over. How about asking your SO to be a reference for you?

What lady in her right mind would see you knowing that you may have to turn over her contact information to your SO someday...like you did the last time?!?!?

Not worth the risk of having you spill you guts...kinda like you're doing right now...

Find another hobby or find another SO or both!!

[Guest041919-3]

I can appreciate both sides of this issue, as I had to leave the hobby a few years ago, and it was very different than today. My own experience did not force be into revealing all the account information because I wouldn't--no one can really force anyone into that.

It just changes the consequences.

For example, my SO and I have a platonic life rearing our children until we call it quits when they graduate. That said, getting back in seems much more complicated, but I get why.

The safety of those working and hobbying is as equally paramount as the discretion both folks need. I know that when one of my previous providers threatened to out me unless I began to make SD payments, we had to have a talk about how that wouldn't work--but it taught me multiple levels of discretion. And, by then I had insulated my self with some levels of discretion.

So as a "newbie" in this much more transparent world of hobbying, it's interesting what I'm being asked to share to create trust, and that I find myself willing to share far less than being asked--yet I totally get why I'm being asked. I should have kept my non-online references from my yearly trips to NOLA....but didn't. I only hobby when I'm out of town (lesson I learned).

I look forward to finding a way break in to this newest (to me any) permutation, know to be patient, and realize the scales have to be tipped a bit more toward the provider's safety than to the hobbyist.

But, needless to say, given my earlier experience with that one provider, that I would consider giving out personal information into a website....can anyone say Ashley Madison hack?

Do folks ever provide advance considerations for a public meeting, knowing that the provider might not show--that's a risk worth taking imho--to get the ball rolling?

[BLM69]

I'm wondering what power did she have over you to hand over all of your fun times, S.O. would know better to even ask such a question. She knows me better than that

[dgc92]

Originally Posted by BLM69

I'm wondering what power did she have over you to hand over all of your fun times,

"Do it or divorce."

Some dudes are that easy. I give you credit, BLM. I agree with all of your posts I remember up to this point. Which leaves open the possibility that you've written truly idiotic shit that I missed. But you gotta remember most guys are wusses.

[Audrey Astor]

Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

What lady in her right mind would see you knowing that you may have to turn over her contact information to your SO someday...like you did the last time?!?!?

Not worth the risk of having you spill you guts...kinda like you're doing right now...

Find another hobby or find another SO or both!!

I was thinking the same thing, or possibly worse LE. All of the ladies you reviewed were put in jeopardy by turning over account credentials.