I MISS THE DAYS OF ASPD!

[WTF]

Originally Posted by DEAR_JOHN

The one problem with ASPD is that the site and membership got too big. The best socials were just quick get togethers where a handful of providers and guys would meet up somewhere and just talk..

There is a reason why it was better in the beginning. . .Dunbar

https://www.newyorker.com/science/ma...er-friendships
The Dunbar number is actually a series of them. The best known, a hundred and fifty, is the number of people we call casual friends—the people, say, you’d invite to a large party. (In reality, it’s a range: a hundred at the low end and two hundred for the more social of us.) From there, through qualitative interviews coupled with analysis of experimental and survey data, Dunbar discovered that the number grows and decreases according to a precise formula, roughly a “rule of three.” The next step down, fifty, is the number of people we call close friends—perhaps the people you’d invite to a group dinner. You see them often, but not so much that you consider them to be true intimates. Then there’s the circle of fifteen: the friends that you can turn to for sympathy when you need it, the ones you can confide in about most things. The most intimate Dunbar number, five, is your close support group. These are your best friends (and often family members). On the flipside, groups can extend to five hundred, the acquaintance level, and to fifteen hundred, the absolute limit—the people for whom you can put a name to a face. While the group sizes are relatively stable, their composition can be fluid. Your five today may not be your five next week; people drift among layers and sometimes fall out of them altogether.

[blowpop]

ASPD was a much different place. There was an actual feeling of community and respect. Hobbyists treated providers well, and providers took great care of us. Many became actual friends. Yes, the basis was commercial sex, but the feel was totally different. Less transactional. Many of the things we take for granted in the hobby world began then.

I remember the first social. It wasn't a wide-open event, and you had to be well known to attend. It was a fantastic kinky party that everyone enjoyed. We knew each other as people, not just anonymous bodies behind a keyboard. It was much, much safer for everyone. We did it again, and again, and ultimately someone decided to do a big event. Inevitably word got out, and law enforcement crashed the party. No arrests, since we weren't breaking the law (P4P was a strict no-no at events), but it put a huge damper on the social scene.

I was actually the first admin of ASPD (under my old handle) and there was certainly drama, but it was more what you'd expect when friends have different opinions. The tacky, rude misogyny that some of the little boys here get off on simply wasn't tolerated. The mods and the admins were focused on making a fun, safe environment, as opposed to just farming for clicks. Amazingly, it made money. A lot of money from what I understand.

Sadly, it came to an end when Amber, the founder, died. She was an interesting woman, and actually cared about the community she created. She cared so much that she created half of the drama that happened. She was extremely hands on, and was available to help resolve disputes or answer questions. ASPD wasn't just a paycheck for her.

After she died, her family tried to keep it going, but this kind of place requires a different kind of dedication than they had. The differences between Eccie and ASPD demonstrate what happens when you lose the focus that Amber had and encouraged in her staff. I have no doubt that Eccie is hugely profitable. But it isn't really a community in the sense that ASPD was; it's a marketplace, with some window dressing thrown in.

It was really a different time. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about. If you were an insider, you REALLY know. If you weren't there, you can't even imagine.

[tbone2u]

Lots of things change over time. Some for the worse and some for the better.

[kerwil62]

ASPD was cool, but the socials were off the chain. Especially the Houston ones back in 2002-2003.

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by blowpop

The tacky, rude misogyny that some of the little boys here get off on simply wasn't tolerated.

It was really a different time.

Different people.

[blowpop]

Originally Posted by LexusLover

Different people.

That's the truth. Being a jerk was a quick way to get a vacation back then. Civility mattered.

[LexusLover]

The "norms" have moved in our the society as a whole, which has modified standards of acceptable behavior and discourse, as well as appearances.

[69UILTAZ]

Amen Blowpop!

[sharkman29]

I really enjoyed the socials. You got a chance to see what you would be getting beforehand.

[Sistine Chapel]

If they were so great and everyone pines for those days and socials then why don't yall just re-create them. Watch out for them news crews though

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by blowpop

That's the truth. Being a jerk was a quick way to get a vacation back then. Civility mattered.

Bullshit! I was banned for no other reason than my association with another SHMB. Civility had not one thing to do with it.

[Sistine Chapel]

Sounds like it was just a mom and pop shop gone wrong. Like little shop of horrors

[dearhunter]

I must have been on a different ASPD from some of you bitches.......ijs

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Bullshit! I was banned for no other reason than my association with another SHMB. Civility had not one thing to do with it.

You must have not been a member of the "in crowd" aka "The Club"!

[DEAR_JOHN]

During the pinnacle of ASPDs time on the internet, it was also the pinnacle of hobbying in the greater Houston area. Wildflowers, Amazing Escorts and Escape, Chalinos, Juniors, Chasitys, XTC, LaFemme, Native Tan, I mean it was all out there. It crossed lines that will never get crossed again.

Then in November 2004, this great and easy way of dating the ladies was gone. A lot of us guys were also 'on edge' waiting to see what happens next, just like the social that got busted.

I think that Juniors was still around and Wildcat Maria was taking me to different worlds.

The last social I attended, where I met Sharkman, and fell in lust with Jenna Stone was sometime after February 2007. It was then I started my hiatus due to personal, not health reasons.

ASPD went downhill after that, until Amber (RIP) passed away.

It was then a lot of us moved here and the hobby is what it is.

My point being, through all the bullshit, is that it's hard to compare ASPD to eccie in a complete context. ASPD even had forums for the Wildflower and Amazing groups. Feeling horny, I'll see who's working at Valhalla.......hmmmmm looks like Hope is working tonight. Call the number and see if she's available, and if so, would pay a visit, after dropping $175 at the office. hmmmmmmm felling horny, let's see who's at the Retreat......OK, Ava Baker and Candace Anderson are both there, and Fancy sure is a hot young thing. Makc the call....OK, Candace and the jacuzzi are available. And that's the world before November 2004.

I heard that Melissa at XTC was hot, and oh hell yes she was. The absolute most beautiful and well built woman I was ever with. Our session (body rub only) lasted all of 5 minutes and my 'finish' would've made Peter North jealous. She looked at me like 'huh finished already' and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and apologize..

The members of eccie will never have this world, so, in this context, you really can't compare these sites. We do have provider ads and weekend dates, but we don't have the socials like we used to have. Ask the providers, most would prefer knowing a guy before seeing him, same for the guys wanting to know the girls beforehand.

Even though I'm not in the 'know', there is no doubt in my mind some cliques are still having small and intimate socials. I've always felt like there were cliques of guys who shared the girls and I still feel that way.

Besides with all the jerks on this site like sistine chapel, my level of trusting some of my hobby 'brothers' has diminished greatly. There may be some chicken shit bastard who got vouched for and drop dime to LE about a social.

Different days, different times.