Dallas Cowboys Jokes

[Sexy Texan]

Okay people I am not hating on our Cowboys
just find these jokes funny!
There is a Redskins fan, a Giants fan, and a Cowboys fan that got caught drunk in Saudi Arabia, where it is highly illegal to consume alcohol. They are all sentenced to be whipped 200 times. Luckily the whipper was a football fan and seeing as they were too, he gave each of them one wish. The Giants fan was first, he asked if he could have a pillow tied to his back to make it hurt less. But the whip broke through the pillow after like 20 whips and the Giants fan was in extreme pain. The Cowboys fan saw what had happened, so he asked to have 2 pillows tied to his back, but the whip again broke through. Last was the Redskins fan. The whipper said "You are a redskins fan, the greatest team in the world, you are allowed 2 wishes!" So the Redskins fan thought for a minute. "For my first wish, i want to be whipped 1,000 times!" The whipper was confused. "For my second wish, tie the Cowboys fan to my back!!!"

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"

Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!" The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"

A boy is wallking near Fed Ex Field when he sees a man being attacked by a viscious dog. He finds a stick and charges the dog without any fear. He gets to the dog, slips the stick through the collar and twists really hard, breaking the dog’s neck and saving the man’s life. A news reporter for the Washington Post was close by and witnessed the whole event. He rushes over to the hero and tells him he wants to put this in the paper with the head line: “Redskins Fan Saves Man from Imminent Death”

The boy replies “I am not a Redskins fan.” Perplexed, the reporter asks “what kind of fan are you?” The boy replies “ A Cowboy fan!” The reporter decides on another headline: "Ignorant Redneck Ba$tard Kills Family Pet.”


Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle