Co worker advice?

[TexasChiliDog]

A co-worker may be sending me signals, but I'm not sure. We seem to be having more eye contact during meetings, and her smile is definitely getting brighter. She is laughing at my jokes too, which is also a good sign. I stopped by her office unexpectedly the other day and seemed like she was beaming. Next day we unexpectedly saw each other in the hall (she works in another department) and she reached out an touched my arm as she said hi. Any suggestions on how I can break the ice to see if she wants to meet for a drink or something. Lunch is out because someone would see us if we went nearby or tried to leave together.

[Prolongus]

You may get all the unwarranted, cruel, funny, despicable, rotten, priceless, hopeless, useless, worthless advice you could possibly ever expect with this thread.

So here's mine: Invite her to have lunch, find a restaurant far away and after that, a hotel even farther away. Prepare like you would with a Provider: bring your own protection, shower before fucking. If she ever becomes your boss and you're good in the sack, expect lots of "raises".

[bored@home]

Originally Posted by TexasChiliDog

A co-worker may be sending me signals, but I'm not sure. We seem to be having more eye contact during meetings, and her smile is definitely getting brighter. She is laughing at my jokes too, which is also a good sign. I stopped by her office unexpectedly the other day and seemed like she was beaming. Next day we unexpectedly saw each other in the hall (she works in another department) and she reached out an touched my arm as she said hi. Any suggestions on how I can break the ice to see if she wants to meet for a drink or something. Lunch is out because someone would see us if we went nearby or tried to leave together.

So are we to understand that such a thing as lunch between coworkers of opposite sex would be frowned upon by the powers that be???
If so the safe answer is simply DON'T!
Even if she is waving you in now, what happens later when you propose or breakup?

Enjoy the flirts (if they are really there) and keep things neutral. I have never been great at following my own advice so on the flip, just be direct and ask "hey you want to get a drink or something" and be done with the guessing. Keep in mind that if you are wrong on the signals there could be fallout but at least it will be cleared up.

[MartinX]

Here is some very good advise. Don't, no matter what just dont.

[Luke Skywalker]

Originally Posted by MartinX

Here is some very good advise. Don't, no matter what just dont.

Best advice. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the scars.

Run, Forest, Run!

The one and only exception to this is ... If you're single, not too much older than her, and willing to have a real monogamous and respectful relationship with her. Any variation from that and you will get something anywhere between a pink slip and a lawsuit. Heck, even if you meet all these conditions you may get in trouble, but at least it would be worth the risk. Risking your career for a quick pussy is not worth it. You can get it here for around 3 benjamins.

[playerplano]

It's a tough politically correct world we live in !

I think tons of people meet their GF and future ex-wives at work. We spend a large part of our waking hours at work so it is natural. I recommend be hesitant and choose carefully who you go out with from your job. Know that if things go badly you could be jeopardizing your and their employment.

That being said if you work in different departments and are not in a supervisor role then go for it. It's just like the hobby. You know it's illegal and you make a conscious decision to play.

[Roger.Smith]

Originally Posted by TexasChiliDog

A co-worker may be sending me signals, but I'm not sure. We seem to be having more eye contact during meetings, and her smile is definitely getting brighter. She is laughing at my jokes too, which is also a good sign. I stopped by her office unexpectedly the other day and seemed like she was beaming. Next day we unexpectedly saw each other in the hall (she works in another department) and she reached out an touched my arm as she said hi. Any suggestions on how I can break the ice to see if she wants to meet for a drink or something. Lunch is out because someone would see us if we went nearby or tried to leave together.

Just be direct and ask her out. If she's really into you, she'll say yes. Women aren't iffy or blow off guys they want to be with. If she really into you, she's probably been waiting for you to ask.

You don't need a slick line or something witty, just ask. The worst she'll do is say no or make an excuse. If so, life goes on. If she says yes, take her somewhere fun and a place where you can talk. No movies for a first date. I'm partial to comedy clubs myself.

[Look-at-Stupid]

Originally Posted by TexasChiliDog

A co-worker may be sending me signals, but I'm not sure. We seem to be having more eye contact during meetings, and her smile is definitely getting brighter. She is laughing at my jokes too, which is also a good sign. I stopped by her office unexpectedly the other day and seemed like she was beaming. Next day we unexpectedly saw each other in the hall (she works in another department) and she reached out an touched my arm as she said hi. Any suggestions on how I can break the ice to see if she wants to meet for a drink or something. Lunch is out because someone would see us if we went nearby or tried to leave together.

Like your job? Here is good advice if you do, don't do it!! If things go wrong, and they very well could, she will make your life at work fucking miserable. Not to mention other people at work will find out sooner or later, and it could ruin what may be a good reputation.

[Hercules]

Never dip your pen into company ink

That saying has been around a loooong time and for good reason.

[Roger.Smith]

Guys on here love to worry about things that aren't likely to happen. Dating a co-worker is common, don't let what these guys are telling you scare you off. Basic rules:

.Don't send anything non-business related on company networks or equipment
.Don't pursue it if she's a subordinate or superior.
.Your company has a written policy against it. Most don't unless one person is subordinate to other.

If those scenarios don't apply to you, you'll be fine. I've dated co-workers, it's not the death train these guys are making it out to be.

[Guest090519-1]

As long as she works in a different department and you don't ask her how much she charges for an hour, you're fine. Lunch is easy to pull off if you are afraid of prying eyes. Pick a place far enough out that you're not likely to be spotted together and leave at separate times or through separate exits. Lunch is the best way to tread the waters safely. It can be a date or it can just end up being lunch between two friends.

[mark77070]

Never get your milk at the same place you get your bread and butter.

[AmericanIdiot]

Originally Posted by TexasChiliDog

A co-worker may be sending me signals, but I'm not sure. We seem to be having more eye contact during meetings, and her smile is definitely getting brighter. She is laughing at my jokes too, which is also a good sign. I stopped by her office unexpectedly the other day and seemed like she was beaming. Next day we unexpectedly saw each other in the hall (she works in another department) and she reached out an touched my arm as she said hi. Any suggestions on how I can break the ice to see if she wants to meet for a drink or something. Lunch is out because someone would see us if we went nearby or tried to leave together.

It's really that simple. Yes, co-workers date. Yes, some folks get fired for it. Lots of good, yet diametrically opposed, advice in this thread. But it all comes down to what is your risk tolerance? You don't want to be seen going to lunch? That off the bat is a red flag to me that you've got a low risk tolerance. When I was a contractor for the company I'm working for now I slept with 2 different co-workers and one of them wasn't happy about it. But I wasn't invested in my job at that time.

If you're determined to do this simply ask her to go for coffee during lunch, prying office eyes be damned. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Originally Posted by mark77070

Never get your milk at the same place you get your bread and butter.

Sometimes that's the easist place. One stop shopping!

From a WSJ article (as Roger stated):

About 10% of Americans who found spouses between 2005 and 2009 met at the office or through co-workers, according to Dr. Rosenfeld—down from around 20% in 1990.

[bojulay]

I don't understand the problem. Is there some policy against co workers dating
where you work?? Are you married?? If so, then nooooooooo!!

A slam bam kind of thing with a co worker is not a good idea unless that is what
she would be into.

She is obviously into you so I would just say ask her out and take it slow.
From the sound of it she has already done most of the work for you.

If you get involved with her and she latter becomes a stalker, just make sure
you check under your vehicle when you leave your house to make sure she
hasn't crawled up underneath it, happened to me once.

Some of those civi girls be cray crayyyy.

[TexasChiliDog]

Lots of very good advice. Thank you everyone.