BackPage Dictionary

[edwardzhane]

This is a thread I read on another site and found it to be hilarious with some partial truth. I thought it was worth reporting the full content. It is a so-called BP dictionary

Backpage Glossary.



BBW = fat.

Voluptuous = fat.

Curvy = fat.

Curvaceous = fat.

Thick = fat.

Rubenesque = fat.

Womanly = fat.

Hourglass = fat.

Supersized = fat.

Pic of a flower only? = fat.

Pic of face only? = fat.

Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.

Gives bra size only? = fat.

Busty = either saggy or fat.

Naturally busty = saggy and fat.

Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.

Slim = no boobs.

Svelte = no boobs.

Slender = no boobs.

Dancer's body = no boobs.

Runner = no boobs.

Spinner = no boobs.

Yoga = no boobs.

Bombshell = fake boobs.

Baywatch = fake boobs.

Playboy = fake boobs.

Model = fake boobs.

Brazilian = black.

Butterscotch = black.

Caramel = black.

Chocolate = black.

Cinnamon = black.

Creole = black.

Cuban = black.

Dominican = black.

Ebony = black.

Egyptian = black.

Eritrean = black.

Ethiopian = black.

Exotic = black.

Hawaiian = black.

Mahogany = black.

Mocha = black.

Mulatto = black.

Nubian = black.

Mixed = black.

Mature = old.

Courtesan = old.

Gracious = old.

Graceful = old.

Refined = old.

Elegant = old.

Classic = old.

Conservative = old.

Original = old.

Soft skin = old.

Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:

College Student = late 20's.

Just turned 18 = mid 20's.

19 = possible jailbait.

21 = late 20's.

28 = late 30's.

No age? = same as "28".

Intelligent = brunette.

Sorority Girl = blonde.

Selective = overpriced.

Exclusive = very overpriced.

Classy = can't afford lingerie.

Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.

Nasty = doesn't shower at all.

Upscale = snooty personality.

All American = all trailer trash.

Princess = I have an attitude problem.

Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.

On fire = active herpes outbreak.

Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.

Coed = plain looking with acne problem.

Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.

Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.

Energetic = methamphetamine addict.

Down to earth = boring.

College graduate = sleeps with professors.

FOR THE PROFESSIONAL ADS:

New to business = changed name.

New to area = changed name and moved across town.

Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.

Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.

Discreet = I check your I'd.

Discrete = I can't spell.

Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.

Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.

Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.

Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.

I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.

Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.

Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.

Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.

AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.

AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.

You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.

You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.

What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:

Unless specified, you can assume:

Hair color = brown.

Hair length = to shoulder.

Eye color = brown.

Age = mature.

Height = short.

Weight = heavy.

Cup size = small.

Measurements = large.

[Hermosa]

Well done. I would guess that about sums up 95% of the experiencees on BP. Now, if you should choose a lady who is on BP but also on other sites, my guess is that it would still be true with about 55% of the ladies. What do you think guys? :-)

[Fangotosand]

LMAO. It seems to be as accurate a way to prepare any newbie for a random bp experience. More likely than not fools gold or flat out lumps of coal. Occasional gems may be found there but usually they are the legit ones from other sites that just didn't know where to advertise locally. Thanks for sharing that , insightful??, dictionary. lol

[SplinterCell]

Originally Posted by Hermosa

Well done. I would guess that about sums up 95% of the experiencees on BP. Now, if you should choose a lady who is on BP but also on other sites, my guess is that it would still be true with about 55% of the ladies. What do you think guys? :-)

More like 99%...

DW

[joshf26]

This explains 99.99% of my bad experiences.

[jj2301]

You had me laughing so hard. You sound just like me, with a touch of extra cynicism.

[james1550]

Damn Dude, even though it's 95 percent true. I think your being a little rough on the girls from the Bipolar Page.

[EOD]

You forgot one......

Petite= short and fat

Funny stuff

I'll agree with 55% when from other sites


E