Holy fuck what a whirlwind couple months its been in the buggy.
So as you all know I was headed to Albany with a certain hotty for a weekend of crazy fu....well you know
So about halfway there I get an urgent email that a certain ho has been kidnapped and is being held hostage in the Phillipines for $15k!!!
Whats a monger to do?
I rerouted and picked up my passport, walking around cash, a box of Cuban cigars and chartered a plane. I get to the Phillipines and basically start walking around asking "have you seen this ho?" because I have no freakin idea where she is and I have no wifi service in Indonesia. About that time, I met up with this local ho named Ishnag, not a spinner but not a BBW either...side note, full ubangi bush! Ishnag and I set out on a journey to find the missing ho
, we traveled light and by foot most of the time, occasionally picking up a donkey...but I wont get into the specifics on that
After weeks in the jungle taking turns between free BBBJCIM's and searching for the missing ho we found nothing but dead ends. Then we found a helicopter crashed in a tree, full of Green Berets out of Fort Bragg...we knew this because one was wearing dog tags with the name Jim Harper on them. These Green Beret's were hung upside down and SKINNED ALIVE! It was some crazy shyte I'm tellin ya.
Luckily one of them had a wifi uplink to Skynet on him and we were able to patch into the global network and get my email...at which time we learned that the missing ho to remain nameless was no longer in Indonesia but had been moved to a pirate stronghold in Somalia....well needless to say we rerouted our trip and headed east.
Along the way Ishnag came down with a terrible case of dyptheria and had to head home. Her 93 year old grandmother took her place and we began our journey to Africa. Along the way we had many astounding adventures that will have to wait for another time to tell
To make a long story short, right about the time we made it to New Dehli traveling on foot, I decided to check email again. Well wouldn't you know it, there was an email from BSer declaring that the entire ordeal was a hoax perpetrated by some lonely miscreants and that in fact, there was no missing ho, she was just hanging at his place for a while
SO with that being said, its great to be back in the states and back on Eccie....
Did I miss anything?