Etiquette for leaving session after arriving

[illuminati]

I've only done this once, and it was with a provider who was hot and really pretty but she had been smoking and the room reaked. I told her I couldn't risk that particular odor on my clothes as I had to go back to work and she was okay with it. I did leave a tip, though.

But everything I've been reading in the last week about NCNS's or Alert this week about the "Timewaster" got me thinking. When is it okay for a guy to walk away from the session after he realizes that he isn't interested anymore? If it's a bait and switch, is that okay? What if the girl has put on weight but looks skinnier in her her pics, is that okay? What if the girl has a smoking body but isn't really pretty, is that okay? What if the girl is pregnant but didn't state that in the ad or posted a preggo pic, is that okay? What if after a conversation - or lack of one - you realize that she's not going to click with you, is that okay?

I know there are a million scenerios to consider, and all scenerios could go both ways, but how does one professionally treat the situation that he/she finds themselves in without the risk of revenge?

[Windinhishair]

The problem with courtesy tipping every provider that doesn't match photos, has an unreasonable incall environment or has visible health concerns is that it encourages bait n switch advertising.

If they know mongers are likely to be put off by that lip thing or extra 70 lbs and deliberately book several back to backs they can make a decent wage doing absolutely nothing all day long.

If you don't tip them for being misled then they can threaten to blast you as a time waster in alerts and back channels.

If I could only figure out a way to get providers to pay me to get out of bcd I'd have a new profession. Problem is I'm too damn good looking or so my dog tells me. I have the cartoon drawings to prove it.

[Sir Hardin Thicke]

I think it's okay to leave after a bait and switch as it's not the girl you were expecting to see. If it's a weight issue or the girl isn't as pretty as you had hoped, then that's a decision for you to consider at that precise moment, and I'm not sure what etiquette procedures would come into play at that time. I don't know a girl on this board that advertises as a spinner only to be a BBW in person. I can definitely see that happening on BP!!

[Still Looking]

Look them in the face and say immediately you are NOT what I expected turn and walk away. Now once you enter and you find out she is prego, on her period, smoke smell, pimp in bathroom, large breed dog in bathroom with another provider I just tell them this won't work for me and leave. I really don't have to many issues these days. Up front I establish I don't allow drivers of any sort. The lady must drive herself and I must talk to her on the phone before meeting or we don't meet. A moment on the phone chit chatting about taking pics, reviews being expected and other issues leaves for no surprises. I seldom us BP unless I'm really interested. Then I always print the AD and bring it with me. If things go south I slaop the AD on the front counter as I'm leaving and let the staff know #236 is going to need a shit pot full of towels.

[governmentguru]

Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan
Stan, don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee, get yourself free

[siberia]

Song by gloria Gaynor

Well, now go! Walk out the door!
Just turn around now,
'Cause you're not welcome anymore!
Weren't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh, as long as I know how to love,
I know I'll stay alive!

[whitechocolate]

I am a lot more flexible than many. For bait and switch, I would stay as long as she looks good. If she is ugly but has a great body, that can be very hotttt. If she is pregnant or on her period, no problem. If the room is filled with bystanders, fine with me if they want to watch. I think the only situation I would walk from would be if she was filthy or was sick in some way or both fat and ugly and I didnt expect either.

[Camille Fox]

The only time an "abandon ship" tip would be appreciated is if the client has a change of heart due to heavy conscience for being with a provider. It is rare, buy I've seen a man or two breaking down as soon as they realize wife is at home. Any other time, it is really just as absurd as expecting a provider to just give you a quick BJ if she doesn't like you and plans on leaving without taking your donation.

[TemptationTammie]

I feel that if no session takes place then no compensation should be required. However if the session begins and then either an emergency comes up or guilt sets in or a change of heart, some kind of compensation should be given.

[chelseabean]

Thank you for starting this thread illuminati. As I have stated in one of the alerts threads, it's a good and necessary topic. We throw ourselves everyday into impossible situations where the expectation is this crazy of level of eroticism, but with complete strangers. Real life is destined to rear its ugly head. What to do? My thought is, recognize the humanity of everyone involved. Still Looking, I think you said exactly what I was thinking, just be honest. What else are you gonna do in such a situation? I don't mind conflict (there are worse things in life than honest conflict-in fact that might be the only path to true growth, so why would you not take advantage of that wherever you find it), so I have no problem saying what I want within in. But, I totally understand a lot of people just aren't that way and they run from it to a ridiculous degree. I really kind of hate the whole language that this is not "real" life and just "hobby" life. All of this is real (as real as anything else) and you should be held to the same standards of behavior here (in this world) as you are in the "real" one. When the opportunity presents itself to you to be honest and direct, take it.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by illuminati

I've only done this once, and it was with a provider who was hot and really pretty but she had been smoking and the room reaked. I told her I couldn't risk that particular odor on my clothes as I had to go back to work and she was okay with it. I did leave a tip, though.

I consider a smokey incall an "unclean" environment... I would have said Thanks but No Thanks and not bothered with any compensation. My time was wasted as well. I would report it on the board so as to save others the experience too.

But everything I've been reading in the last week about NCNS's or Alert this week about the "Timewaster" got me thinking. When is it okay for a guy to walk away from the session after he realizes that he isn't interested anymore?

If he is not interested it is always OK.

If it's a bait and switch, is that okay? Of Course it is and you should report it

What if the girl has put on weight but looks skinnier in her her pics, is that okay? Of Course it is and you should report it

What if the girl has a smoking body but isn't really pretty, is that okay? Of Course it is and you should report it

What if the girl is pregnant but didn't state that in the ad or posted a preggo pic, is that okay? Of Course it is and you should report it

What if after a conversation - or lack of one - you realize that she's not going to click with you, is that okay? Of Course it is and you should report it

I know there are a million scenerios to consider, and all scenerios could go both ways, but how does one professionally treat the situation that he/she finds themselves in without the risk of revenge?

Revenge? In what way could she seek "revenge"? Why are you seeing ANYONE that you feel capable of such an action?

[gleemonex]

Originally Posted by chelseabean

All of this is real (as real as anything else) and you should be held to the same standards of behavior here (in this world) as you are in the "real" one. When the opportunity presents itself to you to be honest and direct, take it.

While I think you have made some good points in reading other forum posts that you have written and you seem like an intelligent woman in general, I have to respectfully completely disagree with your view here, especially those last few sentences.

This is "real" life only in the sense that we aren't just writing erotic fiction, but we are real people, really carrying out these acts. I am not going to be so pompous as to speak for you, or even the group as a whole, but speaking for myself and a couple friends I have who dabble, this isn't real for us. I don't randomly meet strangers and have sex with them in "real" life. I have completely different personas from appointment to appointment here, and it is almost always different than my "real" life personna. My desires and fantasies are completely different when hobbying than in real life relationships. So this isn't REAL life.

I would argue that is the whole premise of this site. Well that, and actually, NOT being completely honest. I will be honest, Gleemonex is NOT my real name if you could believe that? I am guessing that Chelsea Bean isn't your real name either. The phone number I provide is not my REAL phone number, it is a phone that I use just for hobbying, I would suspect the same is true for you? It isn't the real residence that most providers use for their incall location. Most providers and mongers lie about their age and body stats. These are all opportunities that we have to be honest that we all completely choose to not be honest about. Not being honest is why we are here.

If I wanted to have an "honest" moment with someone where I knew it would likely turn into a huge issue with yelling and confrontation, I would go talk to my SO. But that is one of the last things I am looking for here. I am looking for really good, safe, anonymous sex. If I walk into a situation where that would be jeopardized, either the really good or the safe part, I'm going to bail.

This hasn't happened since moving to ECCIE, but I will admit, when I was trying to hobby from BP, there were times when I showed up and the provider wasn't even the same race that she said she was in the profile, much less look like the pictures. If a provider initiates a deal with the intention of falsely representing herself, in my opinion, she broke the contract between us and therefore no payment is required. That hasn't happened on here, and I suspect it never will.

As far as the safe side, there were also times on BP that I suspected there was a pimp in a neighboring room or even in one case, in the bathroom. There has been other cases of other providers being in the bathroom. All of those turned into bad situations. The pimp situation just never lets either of us really get comfortable, and with another provider in the bathroom, the session is either rushed or it is completely an upsell to setup an impromptu doubles session, and we all know which head guys are thinking with at that moment.

Now if ANY service has started to be provided, I would also agree that payment is completely expected for those services. The simple truth is that no amount of arguing is going to arrive at a "fair" price for that assuming that the full service agreed upon hadn't taken place. We have seen on the boards with the recent example of someone leaving when he saw a potential medical issue with someone and he dropped $100 and left, that she immediately went to the board and posted an alert saying he showed up and just left. Some providers will still expect full payment regardless of the situation, no amount of "honest" discussion, much less arguing is going to change that.

[chelseabean]

Originally Posted by gleemonex

While I think you have made some good points in reading other forum posts that you have written and you seem like an intelligent woman in general, I have to respectfully completely disagree with your view here, especially those last few sentences.

This is "real" life only in the sense that we aren't just writing erotic fiction, but we are real people, really carrying out these acts. I am not going to be so pompous as to speak for you, or even the group as a whole, but speaking for myself and a couple friends I have who dabble, this isn't real for us. I don't randomly meet strangers and have sex with them in "real" life. I have completely different personas from appointment to appointment here, and it is almost always different than my "real" life personna. My desires and fantasies are completely different when hobbying than in real life relationships. So this isn't REAL life.

I would argue that is the whole premise of this site. Well that, and actually, NOT being completely honest. I will be honest, Gleemonex is NOT my real name if you could believe that? I am guessing that Chelsea Bean isn't your real name either. The phone number I provide is not my REAL phone number, it is a phone that I use just for hobbying, I would suspect the same is true for you? It isn't the real residence that most providers use for their incall location. Most providers and mongers lie about their age and body stats. These are all opportunities that we have to be honest that we all completely choose to not be honest about. Not being honest is why we are here.

If I wanted to have an "honest" moment with someone where I knew it would likely turn into a huge issue with yelling and confrontation, I would go talk to my SO. But that is one of the last things I am looking for here. I am looking for really good, safe, anonymous sex. If I walk into a situation where that would be jeopardized, either the really good or the safe part, I'm going to bail.

This hasn't happened since moving to ECCIE, but I will admit, when I was trying to hobby from BP, there were times when I showed up and the provider wasn't even the same race that she said she was in the profile, much less look like the pictures. If a provider initiates a deal with the intention of falsely representing herself, in my opinion, she broke the contract between us and therefore no payment is required. That hasn't happened on here, and I suspect it never will.

As far as the safe side, there were also times on BP that I suspected there was a pimp in a neighboring room or even in one case, in the bathroom. There has been other cases of other providers being in the bathroom. All of those turned into bad situations. The pimp situation just never lets either of us really get comfortable, and with another provider in the bathroom, the session is either rushed or it is completely an upsell to setup an impromptu doubles session, and we all know which head guys are thinking with at that moment.

Now if ANY service has started to be provided, I would also agree that payment is completely expected for those services. The simple truth is that no amount of arguing is going to arrive at a "fair" price for that assuming that the full service agreed upon hadn't taken place. We have seen on the boards with the recent example of someone leaving when he saw a potential medical issue with someone and he dropped $100 and left, that she immediately went to the board and posted an alert saying he showed up and just left. Some providers will still expect full payment regardless of the situation, no amount of "honest" discussion, much less arguing is going to change that.

So this isn't REAL life.

Indeed it is. I am completely real whether I am at Walmart or having an appointment with you or any other "monger". It's all real life. Behave like it is. that's really all I have to say. It's a strange and intimate situation we all knowingly throw ourselves into all the time. Okay, and sometimes it doesn't work out. Even then, it's not an excuse to treat another person like they are not one. Not explaining to someone why you walked out the door will always and forever say, "you're not worth that explanation."

[siberia]

Smoking is gross and
causes a sinus headache,
sick to my stomach.
You get to leave.
Run my child.

[Secret_Amore]

Originally Posted by TemptationTammie

I feel that if no session takes place then no compensation should be required. However if the session begins and then either an emergency comes up or guilt sets in or a change of heart, some kind of compensation should be given.

I agree with this under the premiss it's an incall. if you show up and you're not as attached to her as you thought you would be. It's not the girl in the pics. preggo but didn't disclose...i'm not sure sure about how sure about irl weight body vs. pic weight body if it's like 10lbs....is that really significant? some people can fluxuate between losing and gaining 10lbs in a week. more then a 10lb diff i can see that. entire house/apt./ROOM smells like Smoke or weed...yea that's a problem smoke scent is hard to get out of clothes. she has animals and you are allergic....

just be polite, say i'm sorry if this caused you any inconvenience, i don't feel comfortable going through with our visit. I don't believe you have to leave a compensation if you haven't started the session.

if it was an outcall through, she came to you, with the exception of a honest bait and switch. I think it would be polite to give her gas money for the trip and time. along with the statement. if you're polite, respectful and acknowledge that it is a regrettable inconvenience. she should be gracious enough to understand and not retaliate with a "Timewaster" post.