Knowing better

[pmdelites]

rehke, thx for posting your personal story, and most importantly, the lessons you learned and the techniques they/she used.

now, the onus is on other guys to read, learn, and APPLY your experiences so they wont get burned, used, or shat upon.

there's being compassionate and supportive.
but that's not the same as being enabling and throwing good energy/money after stupid.

best to you in your future interactions.


btw, the only time i ever gave a provider money was when i paid 1/2 of a $600 primacare visit bill cos she had pneumonia. told her it's a gift. visited w/ her for another year or so, even took her to nyc w/ me for a 3 days visit [and lots of bbbj tc, btw. i aint that stupid :^) ].

but, when she pvtmsg'd me that she needed me to call her and then said "you know, pm, you're such a nice guy and always been good to me, can you help me w/ my car payment that's due tomorrow?", i replied "sorry, i cannot do that." and i never called/msgd her again.

another time, a provider asked me to send her some money so she could get back home from e. texas. again, i replied "sorry, i cannot do that." but, i did continue to visit her as she explained the circumstances of her money shortfall [yes, partly under her control, but partly not].

[rcinokc]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

There are some astoundingly crafty ladies here. They see it as a hustler's game instead of a business - big difference.

Each and every one of us should remember this each and every time we think about booking an appointment. I'm about as skeptical as they come, and I've been down that road as well.

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by Hercules

Why it's considered normal practice to accuse the victim, who was trying to help out, of being a dumbass and how he brought it on himself is beyond me. If she took money and did not provide the agreed upon service then she's a thief plain and simple.

Well, not so much accuse as pointing out that it's relatively easy to protect yourself. I've had some instances in which I helped out, but then I didn't expect anything in return, so I didn't feel taken advantage of. In other instances, where I expected something back (I wouldn't call such a quid pro quo "tiring to help out"), most of the time I received what was agreed. I can only remember once, and it was an unusual situation, where I didn't. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer; if I can avoid being victim, I assume most people can.

[Audrey Astor]

Sorry this happened to you love. I see it happen time and time again. I know a guy that paid for not 1... but 2 tummy tucks. It's best to remain professional and keep it on that level. We have ALL been in situations with unexpected financial dilemmas, etc. Is it something that we should beg for help with in a public forum or request help from a business associate (hobbiest/client), not in my opinion. so sorry.

[Meerschaum]

So, first of all, props to Rehke. This is a guy who has done a lot of introspection and given us all a lot of great thoughts recently. I applaud your ability to talk about your experiences and situations in a fairly objective manner, admitting your own mistakes and not totally burning the offending parties for what they did.

I think it this hobby world has been a bit of an eye opener for me. I came into it with little experience of the seedier side of life and little understanding of the true "hustler" type mentality that one occasionally finds here and in other underground activities. Most definitely naively, I thought most people were like me: interested in dealing fairly, good intentions underneath it all, just in a hobby world that is not socially accepted. You might say I lacked street smarts.

As I have dipped my toes in and out of the waters of this thing of ours, I have come to think that it is a bit tough for those of us who expect dealings to be "over handed" in this hobby world. (Maybe in the world in general!) There is a quote to the effect of "never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

The people who have been hustling/grifting/taking advantage of the generosity and kindness of others have probably been doing it for a very long time, it is probably ingrained in their mentality from a young age. You get a fool like me coming along, who thinks since he deals with others in a certain way, others do as well. Boom, perfect sucker right here.

So, one comes to think, "How do you know when a hooker/escort/stripper/massage girl is lying? Her mouth is moving."

I kind of approach them this way, and then let them kind of prove me wrong. Is this right? I don't know, but it is a good way to avoid getting screwed.

On that note, props to the ladies who have shown themselves not to be this way: Ms. Athena, THN, Elisabeth Whispers, Emily Ezzell, etc. Ladies, if I missed naming you, I am sorry.

Ok, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

[lily blake]

im probably the minority here but doesn't atf mean she gives a little more so you give a little more?
Guys love acting like the victims when truth some are predators, i have also been horribly played in this hobby, you learn and move on.

[Kendall4U]

I think there are just as many male predators on this site as there are damsels in distress. It is sad that so many people get manipulated, used, hurt & kicked to the curb whenever someone else is done playing their games. I have said it before and I'll say it again. The hobby is a very slippery slope. People need to proceed with extreme caution. I am a big believer in treating others as I want them to treat me. Every now and again I run across the occasional asshole, but for the most part, it works for me. We are ALL adults and ALLOW things to happen to us.

[DarthDVader]

We're all been there, done that Rehke ...

I guess we have to be exorcised from the Captain Ho syndrome we all have ...
Im still waiting for 3 sessions to happen ... from the same lady? no, different ones ... I know, I know I have a soft heart ...
But not all are the same ... Erin Blake did pay me back like 3 years ago ... kudos for her ...
The others, hummm ... they just disappear after you help them ... and they get mad if you dare to call or text them ...

Originally Posted by Rehke

It's almost comical to watch them go from being very attentive and really keeping in touch to very poor communication after. It's like a dead giveaway. In the end, I have to say, while I got taken for a little ride, I've been taken by smarter than you, babe. Enjoy the short-term gains.

[Guest100514]

Reminder there are two sides to every story....

[Guest100514]

I never asked for any of this. If you want the whole story pm me.

[phildo]

Did she get his Kenwood, too?

[eccienewbie]

Originally Posted by Jillian Price

Reminder there are two sides to every story....

That tells us nothing.

But you telling us the "other side" would.

So, whatchya got? Not a good idea to try to just walk away after making note that there are two sides to the story. That would just be a cop out. You've had lots of time to think this one over, so you should be able to concisely spit out your side without going to a whole lot of trouble.

[Rehke]

Originally Posted by Jillian Price

I never asked for any of this. If you want the whole story pm me.

I'll agree with you on that to some extent.

You sure did accept certain considerations though.

Like I said in on another thread, one last windmill. Jillian, I'm going to wish you well in life and thank you for one last reminder as to why I need to exit out. In the end, I can't blame you for my decisions and the consequences of my choices, however poor that they may have been.

Someday, I hope you come to the same conclusion about your own.

[Guest100514]

I choose to keep my side of the story private our of respect for Rehke. Personally what goes on between him and I is not much of anyone else's business. Besides reviews which give you the okay or not to see me. My personal agreements and personal conversations between him an I will remain that way.
Between him and I. My reasons to this is that I feel two days is not a long enough think to take care of the things I told him I had to take care of this week. You can all say want but what started between us personally will end between us, personally. Sorry drama lovers. But looks else where because you will not find it here with me.

Originally Posted by Rehke

I'll agree with you on that to some extent.

You sure did accept certain considerations though.

Like I said in on another thread, one last windmill. Jillian, I'm going to wish you well in life and thank you for one last reminder as to why I need to exit out. In the end, I can't blame you for my decisions and the consequences of my choices, however poor that they may have been.

Someday, I hope you come to the same conclusion about your own.

[eccienewbie]

Originally Posted by Jillian Price

I choose to keep my skids if the story private

Yeah, that's pretty much what your former "partner" said in response to your little tell-all a while back. She was copping out. So are you.

Drama just follows you around, doesn't it? But it's never YOUR fault, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight......