Evolution of the provider and hobbiest?

[JayceeRivers]

I was curious, as I so often am, how many people have found themselves changed?


When I first discovered the hobby, I was no more than a giddy 19 year old girl thrilled with the prospect of intimacy without commitment, strings or marriage. I was shy and reserved. My skills in the bedroom could have been compared to a pillow. My general perception of men was that they were normally idiotic sex addicts (it is hard to know otherwise when you are only around your own age group)


I have discovered over time the variety of gentlemen. From the distinguished to the womanizer, from the obsessive to the one night tryst. The range was/is astounding. Generous, kind, shy, aggressive, manipulative, cold, possessive, romanticist. I have discovered there is more to the hobby than the bedroom. That, in fact, one can have a whole different sort of relationship completely. The sort of relationships that do not fit into any of societies boundaries and perceptions.


In myself I found the confident, elegant woman who delved into intimate exploration and discovered desire and eventually skill.


I started out thinking I needed to be a porn actress to acquire interest and desire, yet I found that just being myself brought the sorts that I desired to see over and over again.


I am curious about my fellow providers and perhaps the opposing view of the hobbiest? What were your original perceptions? Did they change?


I am aware there is a foundation of psychology behind this hobby. After all, how can one not acquire confidence when there is a barrage of gentlemen offering compliments and gifts? Yet I can never experience the other side. Do you gentlemen find confidence? skill? or perceptions destroyed over the years?

[watchoutthegameisrigged]

There is indeed a foundation of psychology behind the hobby and you present a most interesting question. It shows me that you give some thought to the philosophical aspects to what we do. I entered the hobby less than a year ago after menopause killed everything at home - not less than a year ago but several years ago. It was not an easy decision for me because I am by nature a one lady at a time kind of guy. I have been faithful, being married to two different women for a total of 30 years and never going outside those marriages for sex - until now. But after way too much time with no intimacy, I made what for me was a difficult decision when I decided to hobby. Without the knowledge I could get from eccie I would have never done it.

I questioned how I would feel about myself if I followed through on my decision but I followed through. After my first (very awkward for me) session, after which she assured me it would get easier (she was right), I decided I felt fine about it. Since then I have been with four other providers. It has been a journey. The fourth one probably understands this thing of ours better than anyone I know and she has taught me a lot and also steered me away from a couple of potentially bad situations. The fifth one, just last week, showed me what a true GFE experience is and led me to what I was really looking for. I am an older guy and she got a performance out of me that I did not know I was capable of. That adds a ton to my self confidence! And I thank her and will damn sure be back to see her.

I have found myself changed in two ways. I have found myself changed in thinking I had to accept that just because my wife thought her sex life had ended that mine should too. And I have found that I can handle the hobby, as much as I struggle with a double life. Believe me when I tell you that nobody in my real life would be anything but shocked to find out I am in the hobby.

I have reached the age where the young civie girls once again enjoy talking to me because they think I am harmless. The whole time I am thinking, "girl, if you only knew!"

I know that less than a year hardly qualifies for evolution but it has been mine so far.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Very good question! Especially in a time when most live their whole lives without introspection.

I was 28 when I ventured into this world, so I had a pretty good understanding of who I was and my purpose regarding men and intimacy. So when I came into the decision to become a Companion, it was a natural extension of my femininity and beliefs. I've never been one for one night stands and emotional conflict in my real life. Companionship takes the emotional issues out of the picture.

I still have the 'for love or money' philosophy I had then, and respect the woman in me that would rather be intimate with a man she admires (even in some small way) than a stranger.

[cinderbella]

I learned how to touch a man physically, other than that I don't feel any different than I did before. I think I have always been a promiscuous flirt and for me it's just my nature. I have learned to be more patient and kind, and more appreciative of life in general. I feel like a healer of sorts, a feminine version of comforter and soothsayer.

I have a deep appreciation for the men who see me. I admire the men I do choose to see in general and feel grateful for the pleasure of their company. I feel more beautiful now at this stage of my life, smarter and far more competent than I ever did previously. Sometimes I worry for a client's health, and how I would miss them if I didn't see them again.

I am much more tolerant and forgiving, and am sadly more aware of the prejudice and misconceptions that we face for participating in this lifestyle. I feel I am living the best years of my life now and am so glad I found myself here. Empowered and loved more than I have ever known. Sounds like a bunch of crap but I am a glass half full type of person!