Is having a relationship hard as a provider?

[Sarunga]

By Golly....looks like boardman took a completely random swipe at me.

It does puzzle me a little bit...because I have never said anything bad about him.

Perhaps, I should start a thread in the ML and start crying about it....and in doing so, prove he's not relevant to me at all.

[Wakeup]

As a completely random example, people are curious about that little white speck on the top of chicken shit...that doesn't mean the little white speck on top of chicken shit is relevant...

Could be lots of reasons why he did that...can you think of any?

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

...that doesn't mean the little white speck on top of chicken shit is relevant...

It is, if it identifies the chicken shit.

[Wakeup]

You need a white speck on top to tell if something is chicken shit? Interesting...

[Valerie]

Originally Posted by Sarunga

By Golly....looks like boardman took a completely random swipe at me.

It does puzzle me a little bit...because I have never said anything bad about him .

Does it really puzzle you that much? I mean when you first started taking shots at me every chance you got I figured it was bc you hate WU so much, as I can't recall ever being horrible to you. So it would appear that Boardman isn't the only one here who is guilty of taking "random shots", as you say.... Just pointing that out... Carry on

[Guest100613]

Back to the original topic at hand... I may have some experience to share.
For what you are wanting, a NSA companion to spend time with, I think it's completely possible to carry on without letting them know that you provide. Get a real job, then discuss that real job when he asks about what you do for a living.
Relationships I have had where my partner knew I provided were generally dysfunctional due to the emasculating nature of this business, coupled with the obvious evidence (reviews) showing that I do enjoy what I do. Jealousy has always come into play, at least with much older (20+ years) gentlemen. I think it might have something to do with that generation.
When I actually loved someone, and was in love with someone (the two can be mutually exclusive, sadly), I found it VERY difficult to provide at my standard level. My clients never noticed, but I did. LTR, with very few exceptions, lead to provider retirement. When you retire, you need to have a back up plan, and not the usual, "I'll just find a sugar daddy to take care of me," plan... That plan is stupid and full of fail. Most providers value their independence and enjoy making their own money. Once you have to ask for an allowance repeatedly, that itch for an envelope on the table becomes awfully distracting. I sincerely recommend that if you really want to spend quality time with anyone, you start by becoming the person they deserve to spend time with. That means school for training, and developing interests outside of this hobby to increase depth of character. Once you become the person you long to be, interest from others will follow. Once you develop feelings that are reciprocated, quit. Don't tell them you did this. If you fall for a client who is open minded enough to deal with you having done this, great; I would suggest you never marry or have children with them. This is the sort of jewel divorce lawyers love, and the kind of thing that gets thrown out in arguments. Every. Time.
There are exceptions to this, of course... I do believe there are people out there who are okay with open relationships, or truly love their partner unconditionally. There are also people who really don't want to hear about your day, could care less if you strip, waitress, or cashier, and just want to spend time with you. If you're fantastic in bed, that helps with the ostrich maneuver. I think if you find someone who makes you happy in real life, then your days of hobbying are numbered; it's when unhappiness and lack of fulfillment creep in that this life becomes attractive. If all your needs are met, then this is not a desirable alternative to spending time with someone you truly love. That goes for everyone, men and women.
On the topic of fidelity and monogamy - with very few exceptions, none of us have any rights to throw stones at anyone for getting physical outside of a relationship. We all proved we are sexual beasts when we registered our handles. The married folk are missing something at home - it happens. People cheat for a lot of reasons; it is what it is. If everything was perfectly Nicholas Sparks all the time, none of us would be here, and a whole lot of mouths would go hungry. I find it absolutely laughable that any married hobbyist thinks that a) their wife is 100% faithful, and b) if their wife / SO were to cheat in any way, especially as a provider, they would leave. That's a helluva double standard. What's good for the gander should be good for the goose. If you stray to make the relationship work, then she should be allowed to as well without judgement or recrimination. Head in the sand time. Intentional overlooking in the name of keeping the peace happens in every household. Total and complete honesty is a fool's game, and worthy of an Admiral Ackbar quote. No one wants to know about the time you had sex with a dog - that information changes people's opinion of you. Being told you're a provider is like being told you had sex with a LOT of dogs for money. It really doesn't matter if you enjoyed it, or if it was a LOT of money. There's a social stigma, and even the hobbyists who enjoy your profession admit to stigmatizing it as well.
As Marie stated earlier, compartmentalization is key. This is standard protocol - none of us are pros 24/7. Well, I guess some are, but that sounds deeply sad and exhausting. With few exceptions, most of us have a real life with real families. Keep your professional life professional, and your personal life personal. This isn't rocket science.

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by theCFE

Back to the original topic at hand... I may have some experience to share.
For what you are wanting, a NSA companion to spend time with, I think it's completely possible to carry on without letting them know that you provide. Get a real job, then discuss that real job when he asks about what you do for a living.
Relationships I have had where my partner knew I provided were generally dysfunctional due to the emasculating nature of this business, coupled with the obvious evidence (reviews) showing that I do enjoy what I do. Jealousy has always come into play, at least with much older (20+ years) gentlemen. I think it might have something to do with that generation.
When I actually loved someone, and was in love with someone (the two can be mutually exclusive, sadly), I found it VERY difficult to provide at my standard level. My clients never noticed, but I did. LTR, with very few exceptions, lead to provider retirement. When you retire, you need to have a back up plan, and not the usual, "I'll just find a sugar daddy to take care of me," plan... That plan is stupid and full of fail. Most providers value their independence and enjoy making their own money. Once you have to ask for an allowance repeatedly, that itch for an envelope on the table becomes awfully distracting. I sincerely recommend that if you really want to spend quality time with anyone, you start by becoming the person they deserve to spend time with. That means school for training, and developing interests outside of this hobby to increase depth of character. Once you become the person you long to be, interest from others will follow. Once you develop feelings that are reciprocated, quit. Don't tell them you did this. If you fall for a client who is open minded enough to deal with you having done this, great; I would suggest you never marry or have children with them. This is the sort of jewel divorce lawyers love, and the kind of thing that gets thrown out in arguments. Every. Time.
There are exceptions to this, of course... I do believe there are people out there who are okay with open relationships, or truly love their partner unconditionally. There are also people who really don't want to hear about your day, could care less if you strip, waitress, or cashier, and just want to spend time with you. If you're fantastic in bed, that helps with the ostrich maneuver. I think if you find someone who makes you happy in real life, then your days of hobbying are numbered; it's when unhappiness and lack of fulfillment creep in that this life becomes attractive. If all your needs are met, then this is not a desirable alternative to spending time with someone you truly love. That goes for everyone, men and women.
On the topic of fidelity and monogamy - with very few exceptions, none of us have any rights to throw stones at anyone for getting physical outside of a relationship. We all proved we are sexual beasts when we registered our handles. The married folk are missing something at home - it happens. People cheat for a lot of reasons; it is what it is. If everything was perfectly Nicholas Sparks all the time, none of us would be here, and a whole lot of mouths would go hungry. I find it absolutely laughable that any married hobbyist thinks that a) their wife is 100% faithful, and b) if their wife / SO were to cheat in any way, especially as a provider, they would leave. That's a helluva double standard. What's good for the gander should be good for the goose. If you stray to make the relationship work, then she should be allowed to as well without judgement or recrimination. Head in the sand time. Intentional overlooking in the name of keeping the peace happens in every household. Total and complete honesty is a fool's game, and worthy of an Admiral Ackbar quote. No one wants to know about the time you had sex with a dog - that information changes people's opinion of you. Being told you're a provider is like being told you had sex with a LOT of dogs for money. It really doesn't matter if you enjoyed it, or if it was a LOT of money. There's a social stigma, and even the hobbyists who enjoy your profession admit to stigmatizing it as well.
As Marie stated earlier, compartmentalization is key. This is standard protocol - none of us are pros 24/7. Well, I guess some are, but that sounds deeply sad and exhausting. With few exceptions, most of us have a real life with real families. Keep your professional life professional, and your personal life personal. This isn't rocket science.

Very well said!

[Wakeup]

A paragraph break or three, or dozen, will help...

[boardman]

I take random swipes at everyone...Some dumb asses bite, some don't.

Oh, and please, anyone, start a thread about me anywhere you'd like...

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Valerie

Does it really puzzle you that much? I mean when you first started taking shots at me every chance you got I figured it was bc you hate WU so much, as I can't recall ever being horrible to you. So it would appear that Boardman isn't the only one here who is guilty of taking "random shots", as you say.... Just pointing that out... Carry on

You were really pissy with me in the beginning. OK maybe I started it but even after that whole trip to the vet fiasco, I still <3 you.

[Guest100613]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

A paragraph break or three, or dozen, will help...

It's okay to just say TL;DR, Wakeup... I realize the lack of pink and purple makes it difficult for some hobbyists to decipher my posts; that must be why those colors are abused. If you like, when I have a moment away from my real life, I'll edit it *just for you*.

[JohnnyYanks]

Well said, CF.

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

A paragraph break or three, or dozen, will help...

Did you actually read it? My attention span isn't long enough. Can you translate hooktard speak for me please.

[oilfieldscum]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

A paragraph break or three, or dozen, will help...

Originally Posted by boardman

Did you actually read it? My attention span isn't long enough. Can you translate hooktard speak for me please.

The English Language is a mother fucker.

[Guest100613]

Originally Posted by boardman

Did you actually read it? My attention span isn't long enough. Can you translate hooktard speak for me please.

I BEG your pardon. I am not a "tard" of any sort, and I am CERTAINLY not a common hooker. If you are incapable of understanding a post simply because it was written by a female, I would keep that information to yourself.