Wife no longer gets angry when husband comes home drunk

[NativeTx78]

Years ago when a husband would go out and get drunk, he would do everything he could to be quiet when coming home. Even so, the spouse would yell and scream at him about coming home late and being drunk. He developed a routine over time to try to stay even more quiet. Here was his routine:
- - he would turn his car engine off about 1/2 a block from home and "coast" into the driveway in neutral.
- - he would close the car door quietly by pushing it slowly closed to catch the lock instead of the normal car door closing.
- - he would stand in the garage and take off his shoes and socks, and all his clothes except his underwear.
- - he would then quietly insert his house key and slowly turn the lock and open the door.
- - he would gently close and lock the door behind him
- - he would walk slowly to his bedroom and then as slowly as possible, get into bed and in between the sheets.
- - he would slowly lower his head to the pillow.
- - just then, his wife would start yelling at the top of her lungs asking where he had been, why he got home so late, and going on for at least 30 minutes.

About a month ago, he decided he had enough and would try a new routine. Here it is:
- - when he comes home, he has the radio playing loudly in his car with the windows down.
- - he pulls the front tires of his car up onto the curb so that his headlights shine directly into his bedroom window and then flashes the brights on and off for at least one minute.
- - he then pulls into the garage and slams the car door shut.
- - he then pushes the remote lock at least 5 times to make sure the horn blasts several times.
- - he opens the back door and slams it shut and locks it.
- - he then goes into the bedroom and turns on the light while he throws his clothes down and kicks off his shoes as they hit the wall.
- - and then, the brilliant part of his plan.... he kicks the posts of the bed and says very loudly "hey honey, I'm home. Let's fuck!".
- - He then turns off the light and gets into bed and all he hears is light snoring. Not another word.

Ain't psychology great!

[amyurman]

That's funny as shit... didn't work in my marriage however...

[Sweet N Little]

LOL Native Tex, at least he made it home





poor Santa!

[pyramider]

Quit stalking me.

[Sweet N Little]

[QUOTE=pyramider;1051975038]Quit stalking me.[/QUOTE

I’m not stalking. I prefer the term close range people watching.

my Santa didn't come thru..