How bad is the economy?

[Sweet N Little]

The Recession hits everybody in the US ........

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

[ali*cat]

OMFG!! SNL this is one of the funniest things I have EVER heard lol!!!!

[Sweet N Little]

I thought so too Ali lol

[TechOne]

A few years ago, I could take a pocket full of change to buy a bag full of groceries, now it takes a bag full of money to bring home a handful of groceries.

$5 bottle of wine, $10 hat, $20 Hotel room, $30 suit, $40 tank of gas, $50 dinner for two, $60 Hooker, $70 Rx, $80 fine, $90 an hour lawyer, What year is this?

[Guest032112]

I never remember a $90 lawyer . . .

[Miss Dreams]

LoL ! This is cute!