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Lovelyelle_01 · 02-09-2012, 07:50 PM

I posted this thread awhile back in the KY forum before I knew how dead it was in there and got ZERO responses. So, I've decided to post again here to see if I get better participation, lol. I have noticed that majority of Providers draw a very bold line between their business and personal lives. I completely understand the importance of the intense degree of separation. But, because I don't allow my lives to cross, does that mean that I am not allowed to be myself? I mean, I truly, TRULY enjoy what I do, so why can't I just walk in and be me? I also wonder if it is best to not be myself for fear that it will seem as if I have some type of ulterior motives. Many gentlemen have a general feeling that we are dishonest, conniving, and manipulating. I'm very open and extremely honest, sometimes maybe a little TOO honest. Would it be best to just remove myself personally from the situation and look at it as business? And if so, how can one who REALLY enjoys being a provider remove her personal self when that's what makes the hobby so fun for her, simply getting to be HERSELF? Sorry if this seems overanalyzed. I tend to do that sometimes, lol. Any comments/responses are welcomed! I've asked this question on a couple of other boards and got some really insightful opinions. I would love to hear from Providers and Hobbyists alike.

Guest041413-2 · 02-09-2012, 07:59 PM

This is a very good Q. You are one of the few who do NOT judge but rather enjoy. Be you, do you, get yours. To each his/hers.

I do not subscribe to EMO attaches though. But getting lost in the moment is 'priceless'. The gents who experience you, WILL appreciate this aspect about you. IMHO

Ms. Athena · 02-09-2012, 08:12 PM

I must be true to myself, that is the ONLY way I can be in the hobby. I am a very passionate sensual Mistress. I love having my 3 Cs...Control, Cock, Cum.....This is my passion, allowing others to express themselves and live out their fantasies and fetishes....Always be true to yourself..............Life is to short not to have fun.......

shorty · 02-09-2012, 08:19 PM

Yes, you can be yourself to a certain degree. Your personality will always be what it is and you can't change that. Yet, just don't go telling everyone your personal business. I do agree with making friends in the hobby but one has to choose wisely who you would tell personal things with and possibly let into your RW life.

There's only two ladies that I've really became good friends with. One of them, we talk once a week and from time to time hang out for the evening or weekend. The other one, we text everyday and see each other once or twice a week for dinner or to just hang out. Now granted both ladies and I decided that we are now just friends, we will never do P4P again, and there will never be anything thing between us. Both ladies did say no amount of money can't replace a true friendship. Our friendship has grown stronger because they don't consider me a trick and I don't consider them a warm moist hole to get off in.

charlestudor2005 · 02-09-2012, 08:34 PM

Quote:

I also wonder if it is best to not be myself for fear that it will seem as if I have some type of ulterior motives. Many gentlemen have a general feeling that we are dishonest, conniving, and manipulating. I'm very open and extremely honest, sometimes maybe a little TOO honest.

There are a lot of ladies out there who are dishonest, conniving and manipulating. As a hobbyist, I protect myself from this by spending only 1 hour at a time with these ladies.

If you truly are as you describe yourself (and I have no reason to doubt that) you are a gem to be savored.

For you, it might be more personally dangerous to divide your business and personal lives because eventually it would drive you crazy.

My advice would be for you to be yourself. But you will have to be careful for safety's sake. You can be yourself without disclosing your RL identity. As one lady on here used to say, "I can fake anything for an hour." lol But if your real personality comes through, your impeccable reputation will get around. And you'll have the guys in Texas lining up to beg you to tour. lol

Lovelyelle_01 · 02-09-2012, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

This is a very good Q. You are one of the few who do NOT judge but rather enjoy. Be you, do you, get yours. To each his/hers.

I do not subscribe to EMO attaches though. But getting lost in the moment is 'priceless'. The gents who experience you, WILL appreciate this aspect about you. IMHO

Yes, getting lost in the moment is what the hobby is all about.

Guest041413-2 · 02-09-2012, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

Yes, getting lost in the moment is what the hobby is all about.

You and I agree more than you think. We've had our bumps in the road but it's more so sexual tension between us!

Still Looking · 02-09-2012, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

You and I agree more than you think. We've had our bumps in the road but it's more so sexual tension between us!

Nice save! LOL

Lovelyelle_01 · 02-09-2012, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

You and I agree more than you think. We've had our bumps in the road but it's more so sexual tension between us!

Lol, Mijo, I concur. I find that now is the appropriate time to admit... I'm actually turned on by your statement. I'll take that compliment...

Guest041413-2 · 02-09-2012, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

Lol, Mijo, I concur. I find that now is the appropriate time to admit... I'm actually turned on by your statement. I'll take that compliment...

SL, are you taking notes?

alluringava · 02-09-2012, 09:42 PM

I probably am one of the few escorts who doesn't have a huge line between her working persona/work and my actual civvie life. My personality is the same, and I'm probably too honest for my own good. Because my closest family and a few associates know what I do, I don't feel I have anything to conceal. But all of us girls have our own personal boundaries between our private and personal lives. I believe for me it has a great deal to do with the paradox of the business: while it's a fantasy, as working girls, we also see men in their most intimate moments...while we are essentially not 'friends' per se and most men conceal' their hobbying for obvious discretionary reasons,( as we women do for obvious reasons) they also reveal to us their secrets, troubles, and their thoughts. I am often asked if what I reveal on my website ( in terms of biographical information) is really true, and I say yes, because it is. It's odd for me because I just can't see myself making up things...again, perhaps I am too honest for my own good. But it's the only way I know how to be.

cineaste33 · 02-09-2012, 09:43 PM

I'm a big believer in trusting my instincts and letting them guide my choices. I might not offer that advice to everyone, but you clearly have a very good head on your shoulders, as well as a kind and generous spirit. Those combined features will lead you in the right direction.

I can imagine situations where "being yourself" might not be desirable for client or provider, especially when your session is all about role-playing or some other imaginative fun. I can also see why some providers might wish to maintain a strict line separating their private and work personas. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe.

In the end, we all alter our behaviors and personas to suit different situations (I don't behave at a funeral the way I behave at a football game), and I think that makes life more exciting. Being yourself can mean many different versions of LovelyElle, all extensions of your personality and interests. As long as you don't feel untrue to your nature, I say explore all your LovelyElles, and enjoy yourself!

Women are more complicated and beautifully variable than men. I personally find this incredibly sexy. When you find that one exceptional woman and make her happy, it's like being with a different exciting woman every day. The best providers have this ability. When we find them, we call them ATFs.

Shayla · 02-09-2012, 11:36 PM

It doesn't matter whether you have a different persona or ulterior ego when it comes to this industry... Your true colours show through regardless.

alluringava · 02-10-2012, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shayla

It doesn't matter whether you have a different persona or ulterior ego when it comes to this industry... Your true colours show through regardless.

I'll agree 100% with that. I also think that a person's online personality is actually closer to who they really are than most people would like to think.

pyramider · 02-10-2012, 05:16 AM

Elle, just be honest. You have to draw lines between work and private life. There is nothing wrong with that. That line can help keep you from harm's way.