Virginity

[Guest031811]

I am "newbie" friendly, so if the man is a gentleman, sometimes I will take a chance on him.


TWICE I have had an issue with virginity. My original stance was that if a man wanted to lose his virginity to a provider, then that is his prerogative.

However, both times, each man left upset. I asked each why he wanted to leave so quickly and that he still had several minutes left. Both men replied that they felt guilty. Guilty for:

-losing "it" to a random girl and having no feelings for me
-not being married when losing it
-offending God


My intention is NOT to have people leaving my house upset and confused, and while I understand that sexuality is complex and different for everyone, I really think that "losing it" should be done with someone special.

[grtrader]

Got to wonder what the heck they were thinking. Sure as heck not your fault. If they are religious or think that low of you why did they come to you to start what the world was on their brains.

They were idiots.

[gimme_that]

I dont think they were necessarily idiots. Breaking virginity can effect them emotionally too. Its not so cut and dry like that. They have to live and encounter real relationships on the basis and start point of currency. Even for some experienced hobbyist after a date is complete there is a natural low point they experience.

Could be as little as regret about going outside their marriage, or in this case the grief of knowing your first time actually isn't......priceless.

[charlestudor2005]

Damn the American prude ethic we build into our kids. Live a little! Love a lot! Don't regret it because you live life to the fullest.

[Cpalmson]

I'll give another side of the issue. They probably weren't virgins. I'm sure they had masturbated or gotten off to porn in some way or fashion. True, this might have been their first actual penetration, but in no sense were they virgins. They knew what sex was about long before deciding to see a provider.

My first time with sexual intercourse was with a provider; however, I hardly considered myself a virgin. I masturbated to porn. I called sex phone lines. I'd received dozens of lap dances to completion prior to actually having intercourse. I didn't have any hangups with my first time. As a matter of fact, I much preferred my 1st time being with a "professional". It eliminated the anxiety of expectations in terms of performance. I didn't have worry about my adequacy as a sex partner and all the emotional baggage that comes with sex in a relationship.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I'll give another side of the issue. They probably weren't virgins. I'm sure they had masturbated or gotten off to porn in some way or fashion. True, this might have been their first actual penetration, but in no sense were they virgins. They knew what sex was about long before deciding to see a provider.

My first time with sexual intercourse was with a provider; however, I hardly considered myself a virgin. I masturbated to porn. I called sex phone lines. I'd received dozens of lap dances to completion prior to actually having intercourse. I didn't have any hangups with my first time. As a matter of fact, I much preferred my 1st time being with a "professional". It eliminated the anxiety of expectations in terms of performance. I didn't have worry about my adequacy as a sex partner and all the emotional baggage that comes with sex in a relationship.

I don't think your definition really cuts the mustard. A virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. I also think this is the commonly understood definition of a virgin. I think a virgin is someone who has not: (a) for men, penetrated a vagina with their penis; (b) for women, had their vagina penetrated with a penis.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=virgin

Just my .02.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

I am "newbie" friendly, so if the man is a gentleman, sometimes I will take a chance on him.


TWICE I have had an issue with virginity. My original stance was that if a man wanted to lose his virginity to a provider, then that is his prerogative.

However, both times, each man left upset. I asked each why he wanted to leave so quickly and that he still had several minutes left. Both men replied that they felt guilty. Guilty for:

-losing "it" to a random girl and having no feelings for me
-not being married when losing it
-offending God


My intention is NOT to have people leaving my house upset and confused, and while I understand that sexuality is complex and different for everyone, I really think that "losing it" should be done with someone special.

Do they tell you they are virgins when they book? If not I don't know how you can fault yourself. If they do, although not required, maybe you could have a little talk with them and tell them you aren't against seeing them but you have seen a few other virgins that left unhappy because they "spent" their virginity on someone they didn't care for etc.

As for the first being someone special...I think that is overrated...a couple of years in the rearview mirror often you can barely remember her.

One other consideration in "losing it" - particulalry as a teen - is verification. Being able to say "Sara gave it up after the football game" is better than, "We'll I was at summer camp and this 'really hot chick' and I just hit it off and...." But by the time a virgin is appropriately/legally seeing a provider, I'm guessing this social stigma is no longer an issue, but to the extent it is, saying, "I called and escort service" probably isn't a great answer.

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I'll give another side of the issue. They probably weren't virgins. I'm sure they had masturbated or gotten off to porn in some way or fashion. True, this might have been their first actual penetration, but in no sense were they virgins. They knew what sex was about long before deciding to see a provider.

.

Wrong...virginity is intercourse...if not no one over the age of 13 or 14 would be a virgin.

[Guest031811]

Both times, the men were in their mid/late twenties and middle eastern. Neither man said anything on the phone prior to the session. I donno. I just feel bad. I want everyone to leave happy and smiling.

The point for this thread was to "warn" any other virgins. Sex is great, but your first time probably needs to be with someone you actually like.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

Both times, the men were in their mid/late twenties and middle eastern. Neither man said anything on the phone prior to the session. I donno. I just feel bad. I want everyone to leave happy and smiling.

The point for this thread was to "warn" any other virgins. Sex is great, but your first time probably needs to be with someone you actually like.

If that is the case they have more "issues" than losing it to a provider.

[Cpalmson]

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

Both times, the men were in their mid/late twenties and middle eastern. Neither man said anything on the phone prior to the session. I donno. I just feel bad. I want everyone to leave happy and smiling.

The point for this thread was to "warn" any other virgins. Sex is great, but your first time probably needs to be with someone you actually like.

I think the issue is that they are Middle Eastern. Some countries over their can be really fucked up when it comes to sex-- even more so than here in the U.S. Their religion and culture sends a ton of mixed signals. In a society that "worships" female virginity to the point of repression creates a huge problem for them. The male is expected to be experienced but if women are off-limits until marriage then it creates the need for men to seek out the sexual experience of a provider. So, it may not be that uncommon for males in that culture to lose their virginity to a provider.

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Wrong...virginity is intercourse...if not no one over the age of 13 or 14 would be a virgin.

For females, I would agree that intercourse is needed to lose virginity. For guys, I disagree. I think a guy "loses" his virginity when he consciously ejaculates for sexual gratification.

[grtrader]

Originally Posted by gimme_that

I dont think they were necessarily idiots. Breaking virginity can effect them emotionally too. Its not so cut and dry like that. They have to live and encounter real relationships on the basis and start point of currency. Even for some experienced hobbyist after a date is complete there is a natural low point they experience.

Could be as little as regret about going outside their marriage, or in this case the grief of knowing your first time actually isn't......priceless.

I wasn't saying they are idiots because they felt in such a way. I was saying they have to be an idiot not to have self evaluated the potential for such issues before hand. It tells me they weren't honest with themselves as people and how much their belief / value system would contradict this action.

[grtrader]

I am sorry to those who I rubbed I came off as harsh on this for but.

As I said I think they are at fault for not knowing themselves and how it would effect them.

As to loosing virginity I was 12 she was 13. If there was ever a poster child for not teaching sex ed in school that was probably us. Our parents were in the front room celebrating part of the Italian harvest festival ... We were in her bed room and decide to try what we learned at school. We weren't judging each other both on a level playing field. So it was like the great experiment and it was fun. A bit awkward to start but it all worked out We had a lot of fun after that until my dad got transferred to Germany.

[wackatronic]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I think the issue is that they are Middle Eastern. Some countries over their can be really fucked up when it comes to sex-- even more so than here in the U.S. Their religion and culture sends a ton of mixed signals. In a society that "worships" female virginity to the point of repression creates a huge problem for them. The male is expected to be experienced but if women are off-limits until marriage then it creates the need for men to seek out the sexual experience of a provider. So, it may not be that uncommon for males in that culture to lose their virginity to a provider.

While I hold no love for Middle Eastern countries nor how they view religion, how can you judge someone just because of where they are from. How is their view of waiting really any different from a 'true' Christian's? There are many religions that 'preach' the marriage before sex mantra. Does it make them right? No! But that is how they choose to believe..

But before i get bashed, I am a white 43 yo atheist that has a broader view and truely believes in 'to each their own'.

[pyramider]

Does this apply to the born again virgins?

[oneman]

Brittany:

When I leave you, I am so happy and so satsified. Me being happy with you makes up for any crazies out there. I have had the best times with you. You are really someone nice.