A couple of jokes.

[JRLawrence]

1

A man bets friend he can bite a penny in half, puts penny between his teeth, but he coughs, penny gets stuck and he can't breathe. Well dressed woman calmly walks over, jerks man's pants to his ankles and grabs his testicles twists them to left, then to right, then squeezes so hard he coughs up penny. Woman takes the penny and returns to her table. His friend says, "Wow. that was amazing! Are you a doctor?" She says, "No. I'm a divorce lawyer."

2

I recently visited a mental asylum. I asked the director "How can you know when a person needs to be institutionalized?"

He said, "Well, we fill a bathtub with water, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the tub."

I said "I see ... A normal person would choose the bucket because it is bigger."

He responded, "No. a normal person would pull the plug ... Would you like a bed by the window?"

JR

[tia travels]

These are your roommates
who chose the teacup.

[Shayla]

"Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box? gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. . . Bob has been missing since Friday!"