Many male 'mongers are hypocrites. Should we feel guilty for it?

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

In another thread here in Austin Coed, I'd made a post ( http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...&postcount=121 ) that apparently touched a raw nerve.

The most controversial comment in that post was my comment about 'mongers bashing providers who are too old or too heavy by standards that they themselves don't meet.

That's definitely a raw nerve to touch, because there's a great deal of truth to it: Many 'mongers in the Hobby, including myself, are not exactly attractive & in shape. Some of us are, frankly, obese & ugly.

Should a man with a BMI in the 30s or more feel guilty if he's only physically attracted to slender and/or petite women?

Should he see it as a defect in himself?

I frequently *do* feel guilty, and think that it *is* a defect in myself, but it's also not something I believe I can 'train' myself out of.

Having 'hypocritical attractions' isn't my objection, though. My objection (and one I've posted on more than once) is when male 'mongers who've admitted their own physical flaws frequently attack and degrade providers for their physical flaws.

Here's the thing:

In the Hobby, we pay women more attractive than ourselves to cross the gap between what they're attracted to (attractive, well-dressed HWP or athletic men) and ourselves (often at least decent financial status, sometimes well-dressed, but not exactly 10s in the looks dept.) for the purpose of making us feel attractive & desirable. (Oh, and multiple orgasms in session would be nice too, ma'am. )

Crossing that gap and acting like we are genuinely attractive & sexy to them isn't easy, but treating her with kindness, affection, attention to her as a person, and not emphasizing physical flaws she knows she has without needing male reminders in CoEd might make it easier.

I always thought of that as part of the unwritten social contract of the Hobby: If you want her to overlook your physical flaws and see you for your good traits, see her for hers in return.

Am I wrong to think that?

[shayla84]

I don't think it's hypocritical at all, you like what you like and can't help that. It's different though if someone just comes out the blue and is mean and nasty to someone for age or weight when they've never bothered you or seen you. That's hypocritical.
But if a guy just likes young spinners and all that's not, not to me anyways.

[shayla84]

Hope that answered your question lol

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

Actually it does, and thank you for contributing.

I hope your return to Austin is fun & profitable!

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

I admit I'm curious about what the BBWs and the older providers think..

[Observing]

Good observant and thought provoking post.

Two of the biggest fattest slobs on this board are relentless in cutting down ladies that they don't see because the ladies don't meet their "criteria".
Shit,they even go to boards in other cities to spew their vile lame-ass bullshit.
Everyone has their own "cup 'o tea"...
If it ain't your "thang",STFU and move on/waddle on down the road.

So in wrapping this up,if you're a fat ass slob running down women who get good reviews and deliver "the goods" to men who see them,why don't you quit drinking the self-loathing haterade,and Shut.The.Fuck.Up.

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

^ Very succinct, and forceful too!

However,

I would ask for future posts to keep the attacks aimed at actions & not people. Even the two whom I think Observing may be referring to have their valid points and positive contributions. (One, in fact shot many of the photos that inspired me to contact one of my favorite ladies for the first time.)

Of course, I'm no Mod and cannot compel or command anything.. I can only ask you to keep the level of this thread higher than those whom you criticize.

Thank you.

[VictoriaLyn]

Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

I admit I'm curious about what the BBWs and the older providers think..

What I find hippocritical is when the one of the biggest trash talkers of bbws books with one more then once...(there are a few of them)..don't worry your secret is safe with me

...As a bbw I know I am not for everyone and that some how strong opinions that a girl like me shouldn't be here... Personally I don't give it a second thought because they are not paying my bills .......the ones that are talking trash and booking...well Im a dick doctor not a brain doc so what ever is going on with that is not for me to figure out.......

[Observing]

Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

^ Very succinct, and forceful too!

However,

I would ask for future posts to keep the attacks aimed at actions & not people. Even the two whom I think Observing may be referring to have their valid points and positive contributions. (One, in fact shot many of the photos that inspired me to contact one of my favorite ladies for the first time.)

Of course, I'm no Mod and cannot compel or command anything.. I can only ask you to keep the level of this thread higher than those whom you criticize.

Thank you.

You cracked the door and I came in.
"...attacks aimed at actions & not people."
If it ain't your thang,one should keep their derogatory comments to themselves.
I rest my case.

[shayla84]

Thank you babe, I always come with a bang and leave exhausted Lol I love my Austin gents, never had a bad gent come see me ( knock on wood Lol) I've been very lucky and always appreciative!!

Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

Actually it does, and thank you for contributing.

I hope your return to Austin is fun & profitable!

[Stock Trader]

Your not a hypocrite your a paying customer buying what you want. do consider if your obese and ugly the provider may not get into it as much and due to your heart and your ding-a-ling being affected by obesity, you might not be getting the most bang for your buck.

I asked a woman here what big deal about K9 in all the reviews was, she said a lot guys are so fat that bending over and letting them use her back as a shelf is about the only way they can do it.

[Observing]

Originally Posted by Stock Trader

Your not a hypocrite your a paying customer buying what you want. do consider if your obese and ugly the provider may not get into it as much and due to your heart and your ding-a-ling being affected by obesity, you might not be getting the most bang for your buck.

I asked a woman here what big deal about K9 in all the reviews was, she said a lot guys are so fat that bending over and letting them use her back as a shelf is about the only way they can do it.

"... guys are so fat that bending over and letting them use her back as a shelf is about the only way they can do it."

SLAMDANGO!

[shayla84]

That's mean also, I couldn't ever talk about any of my clients like that, and would never do less for them based on there appearance. Iv seen old, young, fluffy, and skinny and I treat them all the same and have fun with all of them, but that's me I guess.

That wasn't very professional for her to say that smh

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

Actually, wouldn't cowgirl be best for guys who are that 'tall around the middle'?

Twisted minds wanna know.

[TemptationTammie]

As one of the more mature ladies, I don't find it hypocritical unless the guy is saying they don't like a certain type yet see that type of lady.

But who you see is personal choice. Some are only attracted to young spinners, some are only attracted to BBWs, and some are only attracted to the more mature ladies. There is nothing hypocritical in being attracted to or only seeing that type of lady.

I feel that if a guy doesn't like a certain type of lady, he should just keep it to himself instead of throwing insults. None of us is perfect, nor do we attract everyone. This should be fun for everyone. We shouldn't have to put up with the insults.