Does bottoming = weakness in your eyes?

[Krunkman]

On a related thread someone posted (they are self-identified as a top) that they might try bottoming to someone to see what its like.

For some, any sort of bottoming makes the dominant appear weak in their eyes. Others will go "oh, you aren't a dominant! You are a switch!"

I believe that neither label is true. Bottoming, to me at least, has nothing to do with submission. And being a switch means that actively participate in topping and bottoming. Bottoming (or topping) on occasion isn't the same as switching - again, that's my opinion.

My question is, if you knew that the dominant you played with had bottomed at some point, would that make them a weaker, less dominant in your opinion? Would you be completely turned off by them? Or would you just shrug your shoulders and say 'meh. doesn't bother me'?

[Guest091813-02]

Winners win. Tops stay on top.

Nothing wrong with bottoming, but if one tops and bottoms, they're a switch. Maybe an exception would be a power bottom.

Nothing wrong with being gay, but if one enjoys sex with their own gender as well as the opposite, they're bi.

[Ms. Athena]

Sad to say but in the BDSM community if a Dom/Top switches and plays as a Sub/Bottom then he will loose his standing. I havent seen it as much with Dommes as with Doms. I have several Doms that I will play BCD, so they can have "Their" playtime without loosing their standing. I do feel a Dom/Sub is more of a relationship, then a Top/Bottom. And in response to the comment above me, What did this topic have to do with being Gay or Bi?

[pantsontheground]

Is this yet another gay thread?

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by pantsontheground

Is this yet another gay thread?

Lol! Dude, you doth protesteth about gayness too much! I think you may be secretly gay and you are just trying to deny it...

[Guest040113-02]

Krunk, as I am sure you know, in old school Leather before you could ever top you first had to bottom. You learned how to bootblack & serve before you could ever dream of wearing the boots & being a Dom. The title Dom was earned. Today I laugh at so many who call themselves "master" on FL as if the self-given honorarium makes it so.

That said, IMHO it is crazy within a community that is universally discriminated against for our sexual desires to discriminate against our brothers & sisters because they enjoy both ends of the flogger.

[*GoddessDallas*]

You can only speak personally to that.
There are no set "RULES" in the BDSM community.

I get lots of DOM men wanting to come to me for strap-on.
Hypocrite?...maybe.
Switch?...absolutely.

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by SlapAndTickle

Krunk, as I am sure you know, in old school Leather before you could ever top you first had to bottom. You learned how to bootblack & serve before you could ever dream of wearing the boots & being a Dom. The title Dom was earned. Today I laugh at so many who call themselves "master" on FL as if the self-given honorarium makes it so.

Yes, I totally agree. I think there is something to be said for earning the right to the title. There are far too many people out there who have not a clue and annoint themselves as Master, or Mistress, or GrandPoobah of the Order of the Eternally Hard Spork.

Never assume your partner has any skills or common sense until they prove it to you.

[captnzen]

Having sought out my kicks in this little bdsm tap dance for many a moon...when I find a domme or provider or someone in personal play who especially trips my trigger as a top...I'm surprised how often (if you get to know them and dialogue) they have had sub/bottom experience and they always feel their time as a sub enhanced their abilities to be "overlord of all."

[The Slut]

What position someone has played before makes little to no difference with me. What counts is the experience we are having in the here and now.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by pantsontheground

Is this yet another gay thread?

Stop it now. The first time I was nice about it. Now, you're being warned.

Elisabeth

[mikkifine]

If a dominant decided to try being on the bottom, I would interpret them as wanting to try something different. I would not consider it a weakness just a preference.

Me personally I have no interest in being submissive but to each their own.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Ms. Athena

Sad to say but in the BDSM community if a Dom/Top switches and plays as a Sub/Bottom then he will loose his standing. I havent seen it as much with Dommes as with Doms. I have several Doms that I will play BCD, so they can have "Their" playtime without loosing their standing. I do feel a Dom/Sub is more of a relationship, then a Top/Bottom. And in response to the comment above me, What did this topic have to do with being Gay or Bi?

I respectfully disagree. Some of the most awesome dominate people that I've met in this lifestyle have freely admitted to being submissive, slaves or happy bottoms before becoming a top, Master, Dominate.

Although I completely relate to being a Dominate woman, there is something inside of me that has often wanted to be dominated by just the right person. Thought that I found him, once ... didn't work out.

Sadly, there are a lot of men who have told me that they were dominate and all they were were bullies or the type of "suck my dick, bitch" types that just aren't caring doms at all. Just jerks.

It takes all kinds. But I'll parrot what another has said that in order to be an excellent dominate/top, I generally believe that you need to understand and know about the other side.

Also, I do agree with what you said about Dom/Sub and Bottom/Top. I've always equated the former with more of a relationship and the later as more of an activity.

Elisabeth

[ElisabethWhispers]

P.S. Hi Mikki!!! Nice to see you around here!

EW

[mikkifine]

Thanks Elisabeth. Nice to see you too.