Valentines day/warm and fuzzy stuff!

[Guest061511-2]

What do guys really think about Valentines day? Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider? If you are single, does it bother you? This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex? Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

[dammit]

I have been stuck thinking of Heart's "Alone" as we approach VD day....

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
Alone
Alone

dammit
OR

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do guys really think about Valentines day?

it's another day fabricated to get guys to dig deep into their cash reserves a little too close to Christmas!

Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider?

I would love to get the wife together with a young lady or two I've known..... That would make me ecstatically happy!

If you are single, does it bother you? This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex?

Occasionally drained..... Especially If the gal was good at the illusion!..... And yes... occasionally empty....

Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex?

Yes. There is a lady I've known for a lot of years that has shared time with me that has not been "just sex"... there was an intimacy there that crossed many lines in my mind.... I can't say what went on in hers.....

How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

I can't speak for a lady but I can honestly say for me, the greatest "intimacy" is hard to achieve without some caring or feelings involved.... and it makes it difficult to balance.....

I have had some great sex with ladies..... without intimacy.....

And walked away feeling great about it.....

I've walked away a few times thinking "ehhh..... I should have went home or saw the GF and saved the money......"

There have been a handful of ladies over the years though that I ended up "caring" for and those relationships did indeed involve a lot of intimacy you don't get in a 1 Hr session....

Over time and repeat connections there developed something else that led to a relationship outside the normal hobbyist/provider thing....

I can say in all honesty that with money involved it seldom evolves..... money has to become secondary to the other things you do together.....

That is if you are talking about true intimacy......

Now the "illusion".... That's what the truly best ladies are capable of creating......

Unfortunately some are too good at it and some of the pathetic lost soul guys they see come away FEELING they were special.... That creates problems.... and is not fair to those guys.....

The best ladies know how to bring a guy down to reality after the session..... You gotta remind those guys you don't REALLY care about them.....

And that's OK.....

[dammit]

I would love to get the wife together with a young lady..... That would make me ecstatically happy!

Have you ever thought about spending as much energy on getting your wife involved with your fantasies as you do spending the time at strip clubs and *keeping* your ladies? Just curious.....

[TheItalianStallion]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do guys really think about Valentines day? Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider? If you are single, does it bother you? This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex? Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

Personally, I'd rather spend my V-Day with a provider like yourself than my S.O.

I used to feel REALLY bad after meaningless sex. I had a ton of guilt after, and then I realized that I needed (for me personally, the same will not hold true for everyone, I'm sure) to have a feeling of intimacy to complement things. I just looked at it like that hour, 90 minutes, whatever was my time to have a mini-relationship with whatever provider I choose. If I see someone and I don't feel like I can connect with them, then I don't go back - regardless of how physically attractive they are.

Maybe you can find what works for you, but for me, from the minute I walk in the door until I leave, I'm "with" that other person. Perhaps if you tell yourself that "you" as a unit end at the end of your session that day until you see each other again, you can compartmentalize your feelings and more or less control them. At least I do anyway. Which isn't to say that pending standard operating procedures, I saw you out in public I wouldn't feel drawn to you as I saw you; it just means that as someone who talks A LOT, and by nature draws people to myself, I would find a way to "cope" with letting sharing real intimacy by saying you'll be back, but for now this is "on hold" until next time. Does that make sense? I started "coping" with the meaningless sex by talking to people and only seeing ones I had some connection with. And I imagine most providers (and clients) probably love being doted on by someone who is genuinely interested in them; knowing boundaries are in place of course.

Perhaps I just wear my heart on my sleeve in all facets of my life, but I'm like that with everyone I suppose.

I-Stal

[dammit]

Personally, I'd rather spend my V-Day with a provider like yourself than my S.O.

Than why not get rid of the S.O.? Just curious...not a critique

[TheItalianStallion]

Originally Posted by dammit

Than why not get rid of the S.O.? Just curious...not a critique

I don't think that's any of your business.

[rekcaSxT]

I am single, I wouldn't mind having someone on V-Day to "play house" with. But I am not going to even see a provider. I am going to boycott.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by dammit

Have you ever thought about spending as much energy on getting your wife involved with your fantasies as you do spending the time at strip clubs and *keeping* your ladies? Just curious.....

Been there.... Done that... I know when I'm beating a dead horse.....

She lives a good and comfortable life.....

We both have interests we pursue that the other is not involved in.....

You seem rather bitter about the subject of those of us that have SOs and still hobby....

If you want to discuss the subject start a thread on it.... Let the OP have their thread....

[TheItalianStallion]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Been there.... Done that... I know when I'm beating a dead horse.....

She lives a good and comfortable life.....

We both have interests we pursue that the other is not involved in.....

You seem rather bitter about the subject of those of us that have SOs and still hobby....

If you want to discuss the subject start a thread on it.... Let the OP have their thread....

Hoo-rah

[dammit]

Originally Posted by TheItalianStallion

I don't think that's any of your business.

LOL...like I said...just curious

[methodx69]

TheItalianStallion......dead on the money. I think you hit the nail on the head IMO. You have to look at it like this...again...IMO:
Providers give most of us that little slice of something that no one can ever do for us. They create something special. If you can work through the providers door and create something special....then isn't that what we are really here for. Some of us are fat and ugly. Some of us are shallow. Some of us just don't have the time of day to find an SO. I guess this is just ranting and off topic, but in reality it does make sense with the question:

What do guys really think about Valentines day? Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider? If you are single, does it bother you? This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex? Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

Valentines day is a hollow sham. If you truly care for another person, you should be able to show those feeling year round. I don't care about the day in-particular. I am happily single, and never feel like any time with the provider is just meaningless. If you find a provider and things click then that is great. This is supposed to be your time! Take that time and have fun. Develop the intimacy over time with each session. HAVE FUN. Again, Stallion had it all right. When you are there...it is your time. Share it with that person. Focus on why you are there...ignore everything outside of that room....immerse yourself with your time and provider....if you are lucky...you both get a little something out of the session. When you leave....you are done. Take solace in the fact that for the last bit of time...you cared for someone, and they cared for you. Now, leave your heart, feelings, and passions on the door step till next time.

Shit...maybe you just needed to let go. Wow, guess I am a bit long winded and preachy...I hate that ; p

[dammit]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Been there.... Done that... I know when I'm beating a dead horse.....

She lives a good and comfortable life.....

We both have interests we pursue that the other is not involved in.....

You seem rather bitter about the subject of those of us that have SOs and still hobby....

If you want to discuss the subject start a thread on it.... Let the OP have their thread....

Hey, if you and your wife both want to hobby, more power to the both of you!!!!

[txtraveler07]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do guys really think about Valentines day?

It's a corporate creation to increase public spending and corporate revenue. That said, I've never purchased a valentine's day gift (I've had the good fortune to always be single on V Day, which in my parlance also stands for Victory Day).

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider?

I'm single.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

If you are single, does it bother you?

So you foresaw this eventuality. Being single on valentine's day doesn't bother me. It used to, but now I just calculate how much my friends are spending on their SO and go spend that on myself. Awww, you didn't have to! No, no, I insist. *drink tasty wine, smoke delicious cigar and give myself the best two and a half minutes I've ever had* (ok, maybe that's TMI)

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex? Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex?

Yes and yes. As much as I like sex, it isn't worth $250/hr to me - I'm looking for that feeling of intimacy.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

Yeah... 'bout that. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

My take on valentine's day? I don't need one day out of the year to make a woman I care about feel loved - she should feel that way every day.

[Guest061511-2]

These are not exactly my feelings. It's more a curiousity thing