Casual Encounters

[ydnar22]

This is an Odd question, i have been a lurker for quite awhile, and never have seen a conversation about casual Encounters.

I'm far from a hobbyist, Not Really interested in BCD activity's, I have some Real reservation about that, and takes 2-3 "dates" to consider it.

I seen a Provider yesterday, that was very offended that i was not interested in that aspect. I thought i was clear about that before hand, i prefer Public meetings but agreed for a first date to stay in.

Is this that odd of a thing?

[srvfin]

Dude...... In a word, YES!

Course this is IMHO....

[ydnar22]

That's kinda what i figure to.

[Guest032514-1]

No. Not really. You want a true escort. A true date. So long as you make that clear, you should be ok.

It is not weird. It's nice.

[ydnar22]

Would be offended if all i wanted to do was look at the menu and not order?

I know i am very clear about what i want. So far i have not had a Misunderstanding yet.

I do find it very odd that i have better luck with civi's and not people that are already in the industry, but that causes more problems for me than its worth most the time. I guess i feel better with providers because i know the contact stops after the date unless i start it back up. Civi's do not understand that aspect.

Originally Posted by babee

No. Not really. You want a true escort. A true date. So long as you make that clear, you should be ok.

It is not weird. It's nice.

[pyramider]

Just be clear that you just want an escort for dinner, or whatever.

[Cpalmson]

There's nothing wrong with window shopping-- if you can afford it. If I'm going to spend my hard earned $$ with a provider, I'm going to get my $$'s worth . To each, his own.

[ydnar22]

pyramider

Exactly, I have been around and "been with" many lovely ladies in over the last 7 years, I married a Former provider 3 years ago after 2 years of a client provider relationship. So BCD i'm happy, Problem is Travel, and careers that keep us apart. For me there is nothing like the rush of the First date. Nervous conversation, the butterfly's, Flirting, ect. That's the part i miss.

If there is an interest there's a second date, and then no more. Rules me and my SO have worked out. So i am always looking for a New "friend" The SO gets Jealous about Old "friends."

So far Kansas city is the only place i have lived where this has been a problem. Tulsa, OKC, LV, LA, Was easy to find this kind of thing.

[hwygnome]

Originally Posted by ydnar22

pyramider

So far Kansas city is the only place i have lived where this has been a problem.

Problem solved, don't live there. OK ok I have heard on the radio some crazy women live there. Sorry ladies but I have gone looking for a couple but they knew I was coming and left town. Ok, done with the funny stuff

I am a little surprised that the one had a problem but with as many gals are out there I am sure there would be a few that would have a problem like that. And there are many stories floating around where guys do just want somebody to listen to them or other type of date kind of stuff that does not involve sex. I actually started one encounter like that but ended up going all the way, I sure felt even better after. Since you married a gal that once upon a time was in the biz I am sure you have heard a few things.

Don't let it take to much of your time wondering, What the hell? Keep doing your thing.

[atlcomedy]

To each their own...I would echo the suggestion that you clarify your expectations with your date prior. Also if you look at websites/ads, look for things like "love evenings out or fine dining."

I'll offer two legit reasons why some gals may not be comfortable with what you want:
1) Discretion - she may not be able to be seen in public with random men
2) Skill Set - she may not want to put forth the effort (witty conservation, proper manners) it takes to to be an effective dinner date. There is also a different kind of intimacy that takes place when two people really talk; she may not be comfortable with that.

[Guest053011]

It's not unheard of.

I have done many such meetings and often they're as simple as a guy in town kicking around, who has never indulged in the hobby but doesn't want to stare at his table cloth while having dinner, or go to the effort of trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Gentlemen actively seeking a single lady they can regularly see like to establish some familiarity first. Go out for drinks, a couple of dinners, catch a show, and then later have a first bcd date. Things just feel more natural that way. It's only really possible if you're in the same city or he's traveling through often.

I'm a bit confused by your post ydnar22. Correct me if I'm off somewhere:

It takes 2-3 "dates" to even consider BCD.Your in a relationship with a former provider who is jealous of your meeting any girl more then twice. So you both set a boundary that you would never have a third date with any woman. As a result, you can only have social engagements?

You might consider that some ladies do have special considerations just for strictly social meetings once you clarify that the date will only occur in a restaurant or at a show.

[holi2010]

i just paid for an ad without submitting my info, how do i submit my info

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by babee

No. Not really. You want a true escort. A true date. So long as you make that clear, you should be ok.

It is not weird. It's nice.

It's only weird depending on who you ask.

I think research is in order to find the right lady to spend time with. Reading a few websites, and communications before the meeting will give you an indication you've made the right choice...

Good luck to you...

[Bliss]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

To each their own...I would echo the suggestion that you clarify your expectations with your date prior. Also if you look at websites/ads, look for things like "love evenings out or fine dining."

I'll offer two legit reasons why some gals may not be comfortable with what you want:
1) Discretion - she may not be able to be seen in public with random men
2) Skill Set - she may not want to put forth the effort (witty conservation, proper manners) it takes to to be an effective dinner date. There is also a different kind of intimacy that takes place when two people really talk; she may not be comfortable with that.

I would agree with this. I would also add that many girls have had problems with clients wanting more of a personal relationship than they are comfortable with. Someone wanting to share too much time that is not bcd could be a red flag of a hanger-on. I'm not saying that is the case here, just that it could be a concern for the provider.

[Guest062912]

Wait, just to be clear, we are talking about on-the-clock dates that happen to be out in public, as opposed to the off-the-clock "let's have dinner and get to know each other before I decide if I want to pay you for anything" dates, right? Just checking.