The question is, set you up for what?
After that, why not just ask her?
Yes, people have issues saying what's really on their minds for a variety of reasons. But in looking at how I want to live life, my choice is to go for the up-front approach.
You're attracted to her, but not sleeping with her as it is, so the risk is by asking you won't be able to? Fuck that. Grow a pair and ask her. Worst she can say is no and cut you outta her life.
Do you want someone in your life that you are going to have to wonder about what she's up to?
If she is up front, she will give you an up front answer.
It'll be something along the lines of:
1) Yes - and y'all jump into the sack
2) No - with several post-outcomes
2a) No, she's just comfy being nude and she wishes to continue some level of relationship.
2b) No and you're gone.
2c) No because she's not able or willing to state her true intentions and you get a shitstorm because she's "offended". This is where I'm glad she's gone, because it was her actions that opened the door to the possibility. Getting offended at this stage is pretty damn manipulative and she's doing you a favor showing her true colors.
Women have all kinds of tests/games and whatnot that they like to put us men through. Face it, they're better at this than we are. They are better at concealing their thoughts, acting in manner they want us to perceive, manipulation and playing games.
You can either go down the PUA route and try to beat them at their own game. Or you can go down the up front route and let them take or leave it as far as what you're willing to put on the table.
There are pros and cons for each method. PUA stuff works on a lot of women and you can get laid a lot. And even if you are up front, an understanding of PUA material can help you spot and negate female antics.
On the up front side, a lot of people come and go. It's probably a lower percentage in some ways, but I believe the quality of what sticks is better.
My personal choice is mostly related to my desire to be as honest as possible with myself and others. I just don't have the time or mental energy to put into figuring out the other game to a point where I can run it and it's not suitable to my personal ethics. Where I have utilized PUA principles, I have noted they are effective and awareness of them has helped me sidestep a lot of bullshit.
Yes, all women are crazy. They have a different physiology and mental structure that men simply cannot understand past a certain point as we do not have the same life experience. Most women I've discussed this with agree and also add that to them, men are pretty crazy.
I'll wrap up my take on this by saying in general that you will really know a person by what they do, not what they say. People say a lot of shit. People do what they really want to do, regardless of what they say. Example, a lot of smokers say they want to quit. If so, then why are they still smoking. Answer: because the pain of not smoking, or the pleasure of smoking is of higher value than the alternative.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy simpson
Women are so hard to understand sometimes.
A while back I ran into a girl I went to high school back in the day. We got together and she starts telling me how guys hit on her all the time. But she's Christian, and she doesn't believe in pre marital sex. Then she invites me to go to her gym. While there she says let's go to the hot tub. She comes out wearing a bikini and man, she's got a nice body. We sit around and talk for a while. Then she invites me back to her place.
When we got to her place she goes into her bedroom and leaves the door open. I'm standing outside her room when she walks by the doorway topless. She didn't say anything. I looked down and said oh sorry. Then she askes me to come into her bathroom. She's standing ther in panties and a bra. She says she has some dirt on her back and askes if I can wipe it off for her. I did help her. But I wasn't sure if I should make a move because she had said she didn't believe in pre marital sex. I was so confused. After a while I left.
What the hell was that all about? Was she crazy? Was she trying to set me up?
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how to understand mixed signals from a woman
