HELP WANTED: A New ATF

[TinMan]

Interviewing now for women who are somehow not overwhelmed by the complexities of the hobby lifestyle; who understand that being "on time" does not mean sometime that day; and who recognize that most men are not equipped with telepathic communication skills, but that we do reasonably well with mundane technologies such as email and telephonic devices.

Qualifications:

Reasonably attractive; takes pride in her body. God and money may prevent you from achieving perfection (and I couldn't afford you if you did), but take care of what you've got. You're making a living at it, so put some effort into the presentation.

Understands that motel incalls with pushers and streetwalkers roaming the parking area is NOT consistent with $200+ hourly rates.

Recognizes that GFE is more about attitude than acronyms. I'll put up with a lot of bullshit (this post provides ample evidence of that) if the girl is a 10 in the bedroom. I've been with plenty of hot looking women that I will never see again because it's evident they are dead inside. Orgasms are easy to fake; acting like you want to be with me when you don't...not so much. You may think you're fooling me, but you really aren't. If you hate this job but you have no other choice, stick with guys under 30 who are still thrilled to learn they can pay for pussy.

Tells the truth. Really, I can handle the truth. The lady with whom I've had the longest hobby relationship has won more brownie points simply by telling me several hours in advance of our date, "I'm just not feeling it today". I may be initially disappointed, but in the long run it makes me think that when she sees me it's because she really wants to.

Doesn't play games. Don't send me a PM telling me, "I'd love to get together tomorrow, what time?", then when I respond TWO MINUTES LATER I don't hear from you again. Are you so strung-out that you can't pay attention to your inbox for A FEW MINUTES?!?

Initiates contact at least some of the time. Just once, on the day of the appointment, I'd like the lady to send the confirming text message when she knows I'm expecting it, and not wait for me to do it. Of course, that's hard to do if YOU'RE STILL ASLEEP AT 3PM after an all-night bender. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOU TO SET AN ALARM?!? Between the laptop, cellphone and IPod, I know you have at least one.

Qualified applicants who are located near the I-30 corridor between Downtown Dallas and Arlington, please contact me. I need a fresh perspective.

And, ladies, if you think any of these true-life stories of mine sound familiar and you are wondering if I am referring to you...I probably am.

[pmdelites]

best of luck in your search!

[T-Can]

Haha Tinman, love your posts and reviews but please pm you former atf's so I know what your looking for!

[warlock]

+1 TinMan - righteous thread
Don't suppose you'd be willing to share that list when it's done.
Got a few I could recommend not to go on the list!

[vesuvius]

Wow, you hit the nail on the head and my thoughts exactly. I wish I had written that post.

[Brooke Cumsalot]

babe.. im just wat ur looking for.... really, i will be looking forward to hearing from u ..... im the def of ur ATF

[lilsmurf]

Go with the one, who makes you nervous and stutter when you talk to her, or see her, even after a couple dates.
That's my definition of ATF.
The ATF you Want Tinman, probably is'nt interested dude.

[Toasted]

This should be required reading!!!

[fubar]

I thought you retired?

[BossyWillson]

Originally Posted by fubar

I thought you retired?

His ATF retired so he had to come out of retirement.

[TinMan]

Originally Posted by fubar

I thought you retired?

I came back, man. I think it was while you were retired.

[TheWanderer]

Those guidelines are so damn good, they have become my future qualifications as well.

You've set the bar high, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's not too much to expect. Those are reasonable requirements.

Being an ATF of a generous man is an honor.

[hc360]

You should check out Brooke Cumsalot (she posted in this thread). I was blown away by her great attitude (and I couldn't believe the upscale hotel she picked; probably can't expect that everytime, but it definitely shows she is looking to please her guests).

Damn, I'm starting to sound like an ad for her.

[Guest030911]

She needs to be blond, 19 years old, big tits, nice ass, under the rule of 100, no tats, have the prowess of a 40 year old in bed, love sex, be truly orgasmic, groomed liked she was born into high society, think like man, but be low maintenance.

[warlock]

Damn cpi, Holy Grail is right.
If you ever find her, you'd better keep her to yourself. You'd have better luck finding a unicorn, or a sasquatch.
On the other hand, half the fun is in the hunt for said ATF.