Hobby vs Dating....Time vs $$

[xperiment]

I had intresting discussion with someone regarding dates vs how much he has spent on dates. Guy is single and not a hobbyist, that I am aware of. Somehow he got into some random figuring and he estimated that he has spent about $30k in dates in 20 years. Nothing fancy just food, flowers, etc. Estimated about 150 dates thats how he came back with his number. Of course he wished he had it all back, saying that they were all pointless and not worth it since he got nothing out of it, ie marriage or long term relationship.

So that got me into thinking immediately of hobbyist and why some of them hobby. I can relate a bit thinking of a woman I have seen twice so far, no action of yet but patient and dating her more then just sex of course. But spent about $130 on the two outings and spent about 6-7 hours together.

What does everyone think about hobbying vs dating, time vs dollars. I of course would love to hear from the providers too on their two cents.

[yardape]

"Dating" can be a horrifically-expensive pastime. Add up the cost of events, entertainment, dining, sports, clubs & memberships, travels, gifts, etc., you'd wanna enjoy w/ somebody nice. I'm not saying the guy always has to cover 100% of the freight; sometimes you can split it. But it's still expensive. I figure a single guy who wants to maintain a high-quality dating life these days had better budget at least $20-$25K, and that's doin' it frugally.

[guest040711-1]

IMO the Hobby is not a substitute for Match dot com, it is a place where I can feed my addiction. I love strange pussy. I have a wife and family, I just need some strange.

[Guest012510-4]

This hobby is different things for different people. Like SP said some feed their addiction and others just like a walk on the wild side occassionally and some need just the time and touch of another person in their life without the complications of a more traditional relationship. Some, just like the escape from their day to day life because they can and they don't want to bother with the complication of an "affair".

Honestly, I don't know nor can I imagine all the different reason why many take this journey with us. For me on this side of the equation without this part of my life I would just be a work-aholic and not have a lot of fun. For now it allows me to focus on some important parts of my private life without the complications or emotions. Not that I don't sincerly like my friends, but, I don't have to feel responsible for their feelings if I am not available to go to the movies, dinner etc.... There are so many beautiful women in the hobby that if I am not available all the gentleman has to do is say next. That keeps me from being stressed.

As far as "benefits" from dating vs this ........well, honestly for the more traditional female there is a lot more benefits to traditional dating - isn't there? Believe it or not gentlemen, a lot of women don't look at you and just see just dollar signs. Most are all about the emotional side of things. Men who want to take care of their girl usually do and do so very well. It is more than just paying for dinner, you are there if we have a flat tire, or need a jump start, need a friend, a date for a holiday dinner, a travel companion, a lover on a regular basis, someone to call and share a funny story with, a shoulder to lean on if there is a crisis in your life..............there are so many more layers to actual dating. Honestly, guys there is no comparison to the worlds in my opinion. I believe it just depends on what you need in your life at any given time.

As far as the dollar cost.............oh man do you guys really look at traditional relationship with how much it cost you? I never really thought that.......depending on how much you hobby, i would think the more traditional relationships just by the nature and regularity of them cost a lot more.

[Bob Soldios]

There was a social circle I once frequented where one of the guys got outted for having an excel spreadsheet where he tracked how much he spent on each girl he dated and which were the best "bang for the buck" so to say. Not so surprisingly the women claiming this was the most horrific and demeaning thing in the world were just about all on the "not worth the investment for the return" end of his chart.

This topic reminded a thing to remember. Explained mathematically, women are evil.
Having a Girlfriend (G) requires time (T) and money (M)
G = T*M
As the well accepted axiom states, Time is money so...
M=T
G = M*M
Something times itself is squared so...
G = M^2
Another accepted axiom is that money is the root of all evil (E). So...
M = sqr(E)
E = M^2
Ergo...
G = E

[npita]

Having gone both routes in the last two years, I have several comments:

Dating sites are not all that different from escort boards although the objectives are very different. If you are lookling for strictly NSA sex, a dating site is not going to provide it in abundance - even (or especially) from women specifically seeking NSA sex. Women seeking NSA sex on dating boards are inundated by so many messages from guys, that you will have to work quite hard to get that NSA sex.

The expense of dating can be quite small. Most women will be perfectly happy with a brief first meeting prior to a real date, if that's what you want to do before going further. Just like real world dating, most women will sleep with you within 2 to 3 dates, provided you have some interest in pursuing a relationship. Finding someone you want to date twice is not that easy. Lots of photos are either old or fake and personal descriptions are quite unreliable, Average build generally means 30+ pounds overweight. Sex with an escort is, of course, guaranteed unless you are an idiot, but the tradeoff is time and a potential relationship vs. sex for $$$. (However, this is only true for <em>reliable</em> escorts. It has never taken me as long to set up a date as it did to set up a $$$$$$$ appointment with one flake escort I saw a couple of times.)

I went back to dating because I spent about 22k on escorts in a period of about 18 months and was never really satisfied with the sex, despite its easy availability with an escort.
I don't really have a desire to constantly be finding partners, so for me, dating was a better option. If you're looking for NSA sex with a variety of partners and your time is more valuable than the money you would spend on an escort, then you are much better off with an escort. In short, dating is not hobbying.

[npita]

Originally Posted by yardape

"Dating" can be a horrifically-expensive pastime. Add up the cost of events, entertainment, dining, sports, clubs & memberships, travels, gifts, etc., you'd wanna enjoy w/ somebody nice. I'm not saying the guy always has to cover 100% of the freight; sometimes you can split it. But it's still expensive. I figure a single guy who wants to maintain a high-quality dating life these days had better budget at least $20-$25K, and that's doin' it frugally.

I'd say that's only true if you're trying to buy sex from your dates.

[xperiment]

I was never wanting to replace dating with hobbying. I just found the time consumption and dollar investment an interesting comparison.

I am a very simple person, so I would like to think, and find the whole dating game to be that a game that sometimes is annoying. I can't be just 100 percent me to attract, get noticed, date, and keep dating. I have to play the game and its somewhat annoying. I was always the nice funny guy, but I have to learn to act non-chalant, work on being somewhat chased etc. I find after meeting some of the ladies I dont have to do that. Just be open and have a good time. They do provide some intimacy and closeness although will never provide the ulimate closeness you can achieve from dating. But its nice to spend time with a woman who acts or is really intrested in you and has no problem showing it right off the bat.

[YSD]

I am a widower who was married for 25 years. When my wife passed I dated a lot. After several years of this I moved exclusively to hobbying.

The $$$ reasons might acutally end up being a wash--- tiliting slightly ahead for the hobby. However, it is not just the financial aspects which drove me to hobby.

I guess I just got to the point where I did not want , could not handle, or just plain had too much of the emotional BS with dating. This is not to say that I did not meet a lot of nice ladies---because I really did. I just found for me that at the end of the day I was not capable of dealing with the ups and downs of thier life, thier children, or their own proclivities. This does not make dating bad, it is just that I am at a place whereby I do not have to nor do I want to expound extra energy on someone else's issues or problems.

Hence with hobbying, you can expereince the physical and sometimes emotional high without all of the extraneous stresses and issues of their real lives. I have got enough energy to deal with my job, my own kids, and my friends. I don't have enough left in the tank for someone else. Hobbying is perfect for me. Maybe someday I will feel differently, but for now I am very content with my station in life.

[Guest012510-4]

Bob, I am not evil...... I am actually very honest, caring and compassionate with my friends. I have found out that not all really believe the honest truth. We have lives and things happen just like with anyone else. Sometimes, I wonder if lying would be better. (Just kidding) I assume you were kidding a little too.

Npita, you sort of remind me of a gentleman that was on the boards a few months ago with an agenda. Not saying you are just your statements seems familiar.
I am sure you are a kind, handsome and wonderful person, but not all of us gals are the same that is for sure. You are right more money does not always equate to quality and less money does not always mean a poorer quality of service. In fact while I give as much as I can to making sure I can accommodate the needs of my friends, parts of my life that keep me grounded coupled with just being human, sometimes gets in the way of being available immediately, or having to reschedule on occasion. It is just part of life and all any of us can do in any business is to try and make the times when it is hard to schedule or the need to reschedule or cancel or just having off days when we are not at the top of our game the exception not the rule.

Okay, my only point here, and why I am taking the time to come to my defense as a provider is, we are not all the same. No one really likes being stereotyped. Everyone has to decide what is right and wrong for them. I am not advocate dating vs. being in the hobby. Half a dozen of one and six of the other sometimes you get what you put into it too.

[Bob Soldios]

Jolie, I was kidding, I doubt you're evil. I know I'm evil (registered Republican and everything..) But that's just me.

In reality in dating v. this hobby I would say it comes close to a parallel to how you go about arranging for your transportation. You can rent, lease, or buy a car. All three have benefits and drawbacks, and you pick what works best for your situation. In some cases you might buy a nice reliable car, but rent a convertible when you want something fancy for a brief change of pace.

[Dharma]

Dating vs. Hobbying. It's two totally different things and I think it depends on what you're looking for. If you want a relationship with the goal being to find a long-term partner, then dating is what you want. You're going to want to invest time, money and other resources to find that special someone to spend (hopefully) the rest of your life with. It's a search that you're probably going to put all of yourself into. If you just want sex or don't want to invest emotionally, then go hobby. it's fun, the only investment is monetary and you get a relationship like you get your glasses. "In about an hour". It's pretty cut and dried, the way I see it. Sex and love are completely different and I don't confuse the two.

In my personal life, I don't date. I have no interest in any emotional entanglement. I am focused on my business and I like things the way they are. I get the best of both worlds, too. What I do isn't just about the physical massage. It also fills a need for intimacy but there's no commitment required. I get to provide a service and enjoy myself at the same time. While I do care for and about my clients, there is a line that I will not cross. Call it "professional distance" It's win-win, all around.

[guest123009]

I don't know. With dating, if she fucks you more than likely she wants to fuck you. It is not about the money, but about the authenticity of the relationship. Since I am a fat married dick that could not get a sexy woman anyway, I see prostitutes when need be. But no way is it like dating so you cannot compare the two types of expense.

[Bestman200600]

Sometimes the difference is confusing. When I see my provider more than my SO you wonder where you should be sleeping at night.