When a Hobbyist/Provider Outs You

[txcwby6]

I believe that discretion is what makes for a good Hobbyist/Provider relationship (financial or otherwise) work. A married man seeks out the companionship of a Provider for whatever reason to obtain some "relief." A Provider has clients that afford financial support in exchange for the aforemontioned "relief" in whatever form or quantity might be arranged beforehand.

So where does outting fit into that? I received an email from a Hobbyist alerting me to a Provider that had outted him to his wife. Despicable! Now he's undoubtedly feeling the heat from a variety of sources. If children discover the truth about "Dad" what sort of damage does that inflict upon them? Nowadays, some companies enforce a personal conduct code that can result in demotion, loss of pay or your job if its learned that you indulge in Hobbying.

And what about Providers? They're also wives and mothers, have family that may not be aware of their profession and, if they have another job, can face the same consequences (loss of job) that a Provider might.

Does the Eccie oligarch enforce some "code of conduct" when/if an outting occurs? Doe the simple "wod-of-mouth" inflict sufficient punishment upon womever perfrom the outting? Do Hobbyists impose the "black mark" on a Provider so that she suffers financial penalties? Do Providers place a similar mark on a Hobbyist foolish enough to do this? Is there someplace that such information is exchanged so that Hobbyists and Providers alike can verify the other party's sanity and good faith?

I understand that Eccie has to be careful what it does and does not allow tp be posted re Hopbbyists and Providers but does this rise to a level that it should be posted elsewhere as an alternative source?

[mansfield]

Bottom line is how did she get enough real info on him to be outing him in the first place?

He screwed the pooch somehow, literally.

But yes, I believe she should be identified so all can be aware.

[travelling_man]

If a providers outs a hobbyist for ANY reason she should be banned permanently from the community and ALL boards. There is NO EXCUSE to out someone. If a girl feels a guy did them wrong in some way, post that in an alert but post their HOBBY INFO only. I know of some girls that have outed a hobbyist and did it blatantly yet they are still here on this board posting like nothing ever happened. It makes me sick to think about it.

And there are no penalties for the provider. If she is hot there are going to be enough guys blinded by the pussy that they don't care. They will just think "that will never happen to me" and go on blindly walking into the fire. Maybe he won't get burned, but with a girl that is unstable mentally you never know what little event is going to flip her switch. When that switch is flipped it doesn't matter if the guy in question actually did anything or not. If she THINKS he did do you want to take the risk that she is going to decide that you're the cause of her current issues and you deserve to be outed? I think a girl that has outed someone in the past for ANY reason should be gone from this board on a permanent basis no questions asked. Agree? Disagree?

Mansfield - the girl should screen, right? If she screens she is very likely to have his real info. If he doesn't get a rental car each time he goes to an appt she can get his lic plate and trace it. If for some reason he doesn't use a hobby phone she can get his info by tracing the phone #. There are countless ways that a girl can get a guy's info.

[guest092711-3]

It seems to be an unstated trust. I know I would be one provider that would rather take a bullet than to ever "tell on anyone". It is the most rude, dishonorable thing I could ever think possible in our line of work. The person should absolutely be banned from the entire planet. Some people may cave, I just happen to not be one of them and would think the friends I see would feel the same...

[mansfield]

Mansfield - the girl should screen, right? If she screens she is very likely to have his real info. If he doesn't get a rental car each time he goes to an appt she can get his lic plate and trace it. If for some reason he doesn't use a hobby phone she can get his info by tracing the phone #. There are countless ways that a girl can get a guy's info.

Taxi, P411, throwaway phone. Those are pretty simple things.

Sure there are countless ways to get info, but there are countless ways to minimize that risk as well. I'm not defending her at all, don't misunderstand, I'm just saying that we have MUCH to lose and it's easy to get complacent.

Dangerous to do that and this is a reminder of that.

As for her, she should be done for in a very public way so everyone can know.

[Jules Jaguar]

Originally Posted by thatblonde14u

It seems to be an unstated trust. I know I would be one provider that would rather take a bullet than to ever "tell on anyone". It is the most rude, dishonorable thing I could ever think possible in our line of work. The person should absolutely be banned from the entire planet. Some people may cave, I just happen to not be one of them and would think the friends I see would feel the same...

i agree

[midlifefun]

It happened to me and it created havoc in my life. Pm me if you want to know who.

[ItalianaPrincess]

Been there/ had that happen.
As a provider who was outed 4yrs ago to MY FAMILY by another provider (rip) ...IT SUCKED!
As a daughter, you never want to have to sit in front of your father while he cries to you after seeing your website. It was devastating.
Time may heal all but this is a SERIOUS OFFENSE!!! More ppl need to think of the rippling effect that things like this cause in someone's life & GET A GRIP on their actions before deciding to be the cause of a major shitstorm for someone.

If only everyone would go by the cardinal rule: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE DONE UNTO YOU.
Unfortunately, not everyone goes by this rule. Therefore making it extremely important (esp. when choosing to have involvement in this hobby) to choose your friends wisely. There are ALOT of crAzIEs out there!!

If you sense that someone has a vindictive personality - Don't walk..RUN!

Its best for me & my kitty to steer clear of ppl like this.

Can't we all just friggin' get along?!!



XOXO,
Italiana Princess

[trynagetlaid]

Cardboard fake license plates are a must!!!

[surfindick]

Been there.......its been almost two years and I am still paying the price.

[ItalianaPrincess]

Maybe we should start an underground "healing group" for outed Providers/Hobbyists, hey it's definitely along the same lines as a grief share type thing...

[BigEddie]

Originally Posted by ItalianaPrincess

Maybe we should start an underground "healing group" for outed Providers/Hobbyists, hey it's definitely along the same lines as a grief share type thing...

It would also be nice if we did a better job identifying the providers who done this so we can avoid them.

[txcwby6]

Originally Posted by BigEddie

It would also be nice if we did a better job identifying the providers who done this so we can avoid them.

I think the blade should swing both ways. If a Provider is outted the perpetrator should be exposed. There's simply no place for anyone that does this Hobbyist or Provider.

[TheBizzer]

How many threads do we need to confirm that EVERYBODY AGREES that outing somebody is wrong and that we should all use discretion and protect our privacy? Seriously, does anybody actually think that it's ok to out somebody?

[Sleepy363]

Originally Posted by TheBizzer

Seriously, does anybody actually think that it's ok to out somebody?

Obviously some do, because it keeps happening. If you haven't noticed, there are some fucked up people out there.