Non-Binary ???

[jay9999]

Some providers refer themselves as being non-binary. It seems that could mean a lot of things. Is it fair to ask such a provider it they have a penis or a vagina (or maybe both?)? What questions are fair and polite to ask, and what questions would be considered rude.



Is there a definition that one can give us to work with. Sorry for my ignorance, but I just want to be informed and know what I might be getting into.

[Hannahloe]

Wow that’s legitimately a hard question. I think that non binary folks usually end up having the genitalia that they were born with or they currently physically appear as. I’m basing this off of the thought that if they had began transitioning or taking hormones they might consider themselves trans or put themselves in that category as a provider. You can also try to preface the question by saying that you don’t mean to offend them. I’m sure they would understand the nature of the industry and that you’d like to know what they look like. I would phrase things like this, “I saw that you mentioned you’re non binary. I don’t know a lot about what that means and I don’t mean to offend, but I was wondering if you physically have the genitalia of a man or woman? Thank you in advance for taking the time to educate me and again, I hope I didn’t offend you. Feel free to let me know if there’s a better way to ask this question as well!”

[jay9999]

Thanks Hannah, that is sound advice.

I am also wondering about those that are physically male or female, but do not identify psychologically as either gender. They consider themselves neutral, neither male or female even though they have a penis or vagina. It can be difficult to know how to interact. It really shows how gender identity is part of our culture.

BTW Hannah, you sound like a really fun lady. Let me know if you ever pass through central Texas.

[Rooter]

It's usually not as hard as it sounds. I'm used to being around both Trans and nonbinary people. I try to respect how they like to be referred to and how they like any parts referenced. There is on ftm provider I have seen thar prefers to be referred to as him. They have no problem being entered or giving oral. I refer to them as they like and I might say things like "let me suck you" when going down on them and "it likes you" when inserting in vigina.

[Hannahloe]

I’ll be in Austin in February from the 21st to the 28th! I’m glad that you found my advice helpful 😁

In my experience all my non-birary friends really just care about their pronouns being used and being respected. Everyone is on their own journey and deconstructing gender is very hard because it is so ingrained in our society (like you said).

[jay9999]

Hannah,

Wow! You are a wise and articulate lady. Having beauty, brains, and a kinky nature is rare.