An unusual divorce proceeding with things I have never heard of...

[Whispers]

I've met a young lady in need of some help and want to know if some of what I've been made aware of is possible/probable regarding a divorce proceeding as well as a foreclosure.

Facts/Story as I know them..... Naturally it is one side of a story.

a) She filed for divorce and custody of her 2 children over 6 months ago in central Texas. She has a Lawyer but he seldom responds and she feels she is not getting adequate information.

b) Her husband is active duty military.

c) They were separated for 6 months before he deployed last fall after she caught him cheating on her.

d) She and the kids currently live in the house they bought in 2007.

e) When he deployed he quit making the payments on the mortgage by stopping the allotments. There has not been a payment made on the house since Oct 2013

f) He also cut her off financially until she filed for divorce and got emergency orders that generated under $900 a month in Child Support.

g) The Mortgage has got to the point where foreclosure has started and the financial Institution is returning checks she sends them. I've not heard of this before. It is a VA backed home loan and there are supposedly stipulations regarding everything being frozen procedurally because he is deployed. Her name is on the Deed but not on the Loan Papers and the bank will not communicate with her.

h) He also has filed some documentation in the Divorce case that has stalled it in it's tracks while he is deployed.



I understand there are a lot of new laws enacted in the last few years that protect our service men when they are deployed so I guess it is possible.

He has had some very ugly exchanges with her via text and in some chat program that she has saved. In them he has basically stated that he intends to "lose" the house to totally destroy her credit and future.,... He seems to think he will be able to recover much easier than her.

He has also conveyed to her that he has no problem letting the divorce go through.

However.... He is trying to get discharged and on a disability that will mean a lowered income and he is delaying it solely to lower the amount of child support he would get tapped for.

If that is not shitty enough...... His vindictiveness will end up being the ultimate cause of destroying her credit (his as well).... The property they purchased was in an area that has seen very good growth in property values and they have more than enough equity in it to pay off the mortgage even with the late fees and penalties assessed to date.... and STILL have equity to pay off all their credit card debt.....

Although she has the ability to list the property and get an offer, the offer cannot be accepted or the contract executed without his signature.

1) My thoughts here are that if she at least listed the property and got an offer and had it presented to both the Mortgage Company and the Court that a Judge could order the sale of the property?

Or at the minimum take all of this into account and assign him all the debt in the divorce although not all creditors will be agreeable and she will face years of dealing with collections....

2) The correspondence she has from him that clearly shows the meanness and intentionally thought out manner in which he is using his status as being deployed to delay the divorce till he can get discharged and on a disability as his only income during the remainder of the proceeding could possibly influence a judge.....

A little more insult to injury here......

This guy is not a front line soldier in harms way...... He is stationed on a ship, making port calls and enjoying liberty in a variety of places. He regularly updates his facebook page with pictures of him and the bar girls he is enjoying everywhere the ship puts into port.....

In many comments he takes shots at her for filing the divorce and giving him the new found freedom to enjoy life.

This is a true piece of shit..... using the system to destroy a woman and negatively impact his kids current life....

Any thoughts? ideas?

IMO she needs a much more aggressive attorney unless others can support the idea he puts forward that his hands are totally tied...

[Old-T]

What base is the husband's home ported? Navy or Marines?

[USAPunter]

First and foremost, she needs to go talk to the base Legal Office. Deployed or not he is responsible for her and the children since they are his dependents in the military system. She can also reach out to the command Ombudsman ( a liason for dependents). The Ombudsman has direct access to the ships Captain. This will ensure she has money for food and housing for her and the children. Hope this helps out some.

[soldierboy44]

CONCURE! He has not right to hurt his children (assuming they are his) it is his responsibility to make sure they are taken care of and all she has to do is contact base legal for assistance.

As for destroying her credit.....face it divorce destroys everyone credit both male and female.

She needs to take the text message she has saved and get a new lawyer which will cost her unless she can find one that will provide service free or at a reduced rate.

As for waiting for disability, yes his child support payments will go down....way down once he gets off active duty.......hard to pay CS when you dont have a job.......but the disability process is now almost 14 months once he is back home........she needs to act now and get as much CS as she can and start making the changes in her live that she needs to make and prepare for a hard future of raising two kids on her own.

I seem to have take her side........mostly because he is a asshole for not taking care of his kids..........there marriage is over......but he needs to man up and take care of his children!!

[Grace Preston]

Well.. on a good note, if she is only on the deed and NOT on the mortgage (you said the bank won't talk to her, so I assume she isn't on the loan), then the foreclosure will not harm her credit, only his.

Medical discharge can also take FOREVER. The last 2 people I know who got out medically were both in a holding pattern for close to 2 years before finally getting discharged. If he is medically able to be deployed, then he isn't gonna get a quick out.

Also, depending on his job in the military... if it can be determined that he is attempting to artificially lower his income for Child Support purposes, some judges will order based on what the expected earnings should be. In addition, she can file to have it increased every 3 years if his income increases.

He deployed in October and is from your description, shipbound, which means he should be returning any day now. She needs to be raising as big a fuss with command as she can.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Old-T

What base is the husband's home ported? Navy or Marines?

He is actually not either. Army

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by USAPunter

First and foremost, she needs to go talk to the base Legal Office. Deployed or not he is responsible for her and the children since they are his dependents in the military system. She can also reach out to the command Ombudsman ( a liason for dependents). The Ombudsman has direct access to the ships Captain. This will ensure she has money for food and housing for her and the children. Hope this helps out some.

He is providing the court ordered child support that is in the Emergency Orders. I don't think the Military intercedes to provide any more than what is in a court order once these things are in the legal system.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by soldierboy44

As for destroying her credit.....face it divorce destroys everyone credit both male and female.

In this case though it does not have to. The damage currently done and continuing can be ended and all creditors paid off by selling the house. That will not be the case for more than a few months longer though

As for waiting for disability, yes his child support payments will go down....way down once he gets off active duty.......hard to pay CS when you dont have a job.......but the disability process is now almost 14 months once he is back home........she needs to act now and get as much CS as she can and start making the changes in her live that she needs to make and prepare for a hard future of raising two kids on her own.

There were a lot of laws enacted to protect servicemen deployed. He seems to be taking advantage of that for his own despicable purposes.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by GracePreston

Well.. on a good note, if she is only on the deed and NOT on the mortgage (you said the bank won't talk to her, so I assume she isn't on the loan), then the foreclosure will not harm her credit, only his.

It's unfortunate but the foreclosure WILL include her Name in Public Records and the distinction between it being on her credit or not will not always get looked at the way it is meant to. Underwriters are known to look at a Spouse on a deed as having had influence in the decisions to pay a mortgage whether they are on the note or not. So although the foreclosure itself does not damage her credit it has an extreme negative impact on her


Medical discharge can also take FOREVER. The last 2 people I know who got out medically were both in a holding pattern for close to 2 years before finally getting discharged. If he is medically able to be deployed, then he isn't gonna get a quick out.

Also, depending on his job in the military... if it can be determined that he is attempting to artificially lower his income for Child Support purposes, some judges will order based on what the expected earnings should be. In addition, she can file to have it increased every 3 years if his income increases.

He deployed in October and is from your description, shipbound, which means he should be returning any day now. She needs to be raising as big a fuss with command as she can.

According to her the command has taken the position that this is a matter for the courts. She filed, has emergency orders and is paying the child support as directed.

[ArisRose]

This don't even sound possible.
Military wives know the business, there is no way in hell I'm going to believe he is playing games like this.

[USAPunter]

She is still entitled to the housing allowance that the military pays him. Until the divorce is final he is financially responsible to house and feed his family. Plain and simple, she needs to talk to base legal.

[After5Diva]

Young or old, rich or poor. Everyone should always get a pre-nup! My last divorce was a disembowelment. I wanted nothing from him; but OUT! The marriage was not working and I wanted to remain friends; he wanted to be my worst nightmare. And that he did.
The marriage contract should be written like a lease; with option to renew every year.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by ArisRose

This don't even sound possible.
Military wives know the business, there is no way in hell I'm going to believe he is playing games like this.

Sadly, Aris, there are people who do exactly those kinds of things. I know one doing it right now--trying to screw over his wife just out of some sense of revenge/macho ego. Sad, he is very much hurting himself as well, but so long as she is hurt more he doesn't care.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by USAPunter

She is still entitled to the housing allowance that the military pays him. Until the divorce is final he is financially responsible to house and feed his family. Plain and simple, she needs to talk to base legal.

That was my first thought as well..... But if a couple is legally separated with a divorce case filed the military goes with the civilian court. Members may draw an allowance for quarters but if he moved back on base into govt housing and eating military prepared food the govt usually reduces or removes that allowance. It's for members that are living off base right?

They were separated prior to his deployment.

This is NOT a lady that is destitute without assistance. She works and can support herself and the children with the Child Support in place.

The questions here are more about his using the system to delay the divorce, lower the amount of child support he may have to pay and refusing to allow the sale of property that COULD eradicate all their debt basically creating a situation for her that will follow her for a few years to come.

[USAPunter]

Yes, he can move on base and eat at the base dining facilities. The thing is, they are still his dependents until the divorce decree is signed by the judge. He cannot deny them housing that is being paid to him to take care of the family.