Ladies two part question, how many are also models, talent, and do you find it hard to hard a real relationship

[dreamvacationdates]

Was wonder how many ladies do more than work as providers, ie: porn,modeling,PSO, etc. and do you find it hard to meet people for real personal relationships because of the profession you chosen.

[Old-T]

Sounds like a fair question at first read, however I suspect the way you worded it may get you some grief....

Contrary to what many guys want to believe:

1) Most ladies cannot do this full time and make anywhere near as much money as some guys fantasize they make

2) Therefore most DO have some other form of income, though typically it isn't porn, stripping, etc. Many ladies are quite capable of holding REAL jobs, you know, ones that require use of brains, education, etc.

3) Having "regular" relationships is very difficult. The nature of the work itself, the odd hours, the unpredictability, the no-win issue of "do I tell him or not, and if so, when/how?" To say nothing of the problem of time: take a lady who works as an escort, has a second job (full or part time), AND is a single mom--that just doesn't leave much time for dating even if she wanted to. I have met some wonderful ladies who would be very serious dating material but they have to many bad experiences with guys who can't handle the truth. It is also why some of the best ladies respond so well to guys who treat them like a real lady and not a piece of rental property.

[dreamvacationdates]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Sounds like a fair question at first read, however I suspect the way you worded it may get you some grief....

Contrary to what many guys want to believe:

1) Most ladies cannot do this full time and make anywhere near as much money as some guys fantasize they make

2) Therefore most DO have some other form of income, though typically it isn't porn, stripping, etc. Many ladies are quite capable of holding REAL jobs, you know, ones that require use of brains, education, etc.

3) Having "regular" relationships is very difficult. The nature of the work itself, the odd hours, the unpredictability, the no-win issue of "do I tell him or not, and if so, when/how?" To say nothing of the problem of time: take a lady who works as an escort, has a second job (full or part time), AND is a single mom--that just doesn't leave much time for dating even if she wanted to. I have met some wonderful ladies who would be very serious dating material but they have to many bad experiences with guys who can't handle the truth. It is also why some of the best ladies respond so well to guys who treat them like a real lady and not a piece of rental property.

To your point one, It's the expenses that really take a toll, some ladies do take in quite a bit, but after expenses it drops it down alot, and if they have a family it really hits hard if they don't have a S.O. who has them under their insurance or they work a job themselves to take care of coverage, for alot of the ladies the only work they do is work as a provider, but most don't do this long term.

so you're say in point number 2 that women that do porn or strip don't have brains or education,? do you consider being a provider a REAL job? let's face it a lady that's is a well known or marginally know porn star can demand and get more money for her services than one that doesn't. there are some ladies that do porn and strip that would never consider being a provider.

your point 3, the problems is that they don't tell the guy upfront, it's not a no win issue at all, if you wait then yeah it's not going to work out well most of the time, no one wants to be ambushed, better to let him know upfront so he is fully aware of what's going on. and he makes the decision upfront if he wants to continue. also you speak about odd hours, there is only odd hours if the ladies allows it to be this way, a lot of ladies have hours that they have set that they work, no odd hours, and very predictiable, they don't work at the whims of clients. some ladies run it as a business and whole lot of them don't.

But I really would like to hear the ladies point of view.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates

To your point one, It's the expenses that really take a toll, some ladies do take in quite a bit, but after expenses it drops it down alot, and if they have a family it really hits hard if they don't have a S.O. who has them under their insurance or they work a job themselves to take care of coverage, for alot of the ladies the only work they do is work as a provider, but most don't do this long term.
Agree.

so you're say in point number 2 that women that do porn or strip don't have brains or education,? do you consider being a provider a REAL job? let's face it a lady that's is a well known or marginally know porn star can demand and get more money for her services than one that doesn't. there are some ladies that do porn and strip that would never consider being a provider.
No, if that was how it came across then I did not express myself well. What I was trying to say is that many guys believe that the only kind of work a lady in this business can do is other sex work. I know ladies who are also engineers, teachers, published authors, a manager of an art gallery, etc.

I do agree that ladies who have a rep as a pron star (true or not) do increase their client base among some men, and for some ladies they successfully use it as part of a marketing strategy to get higher prices. I would argue that it always results in higher rates--I could name too many counter examples.

Is being a provider a "real" job? Yes, and a very strenuous, demanding one if done well.

your point 3, the problems is that they don't tell the guy upfront, it's not a no win issue at all, if you wait then yeah it's not going to work out well most of the time, no one wants to be ambushed, better to let him know upfront so he is fully aware of what's going on. and he makes the decision upfront if he wants to continue.
Here is the real rub. You say "the problems is that they don't tell the guy upfront" but how "up front" is "up front"? Trust me, most ladies understand that it isn't a good idea to mention her line of work on a first casual date. "Hi! I'm glad to meet you! By the way, I'm an escort." That is not condusive to any significant relationship developing. So the question--and the difficult part--is when to make that value judgement "this might be getting serious, I need to tell him now". Read through this topic here and on other boards and you will find a great difference of opinions among the women who have gone through it. Some have told up front and it worked; some told up front and the guy trurned into a jerk. Others never told and are happily married years later; others never told but he found out and it went south very badly. There is no magic answer to timing. Personally I have a very difficult time keeping secrets in a relationship, but I know more happily married ladies who burried their escort persona & never mentioned it to their husband vice those that tried to be up front but found that the guy couldn't handle it. [NOTE: the one thing I will say is it seems nearly impossible to make the relationship work if she continues to work, but I've even seen one or two of those work.]

also you speak about odd hours, there is only odd hours if the ladies allows it to be this way, a lot of ladies have hours that they have set that they work, no odd hours, and very predictiable, they don't work at the whims of clients. some ladies run it as a business and whole lot of them don't.
True again, but it is also a function of where the lady lives. There are pleanty of places where there are NOT a lot of clients--certainly not a lot of regulars--and if she wants a viable business she DOES have to work odd hours. And too many guys think a couple hours notice is all a lady needs for advanced notice. Those that have established themselves in the right market with the right persona and the right client base--yes, they can often work to their own schedule. But I would argue that the desire to "run it as a business" is not sufficient to control your schedule.

I just spent a few days with one particular lady. Very well regarded, VERY positive reviews, in a reasonably active city, and has been working long enough to have some reliable repeat dates. One small medical burp (your point about insurance is spot on) and she was franticly shuffling her schedule to fit in some last minute appointments so she could cover the medical bills.

But I really would like to hear the ladies point of view.

I hope you do get some ladies to reply, but based upon past threads on this topic I don't know that you will get many to do so. If you do, I suspect some will echo what I have written here while others will rightly point out that their experiences are very different.

[MochaNautteBBW]

I do other things besides providing. I am in the process of finding a real job.

Finding a man who will accept me for who I am has been very difficult.

[dreamvacationdates]

this thread does seem to be like kryptonite, should of posted a show your tits tread instead, that always seems to get the ladies posting,

[dreamvacationdates]

Originally Posted by MochaNautte

I do other things besides providing. I am in the process of finding a real job.

Finding a man who will accept me for who I am has been very difficult.

so is it because you are a provider it's difficult or just in general

[MochaNautteBBW]

It's difficult because I am a provider. Not a lot of men are willing to date someone that is in the adult entertainment industry.

[dreamvacationdates]

I have had ladies tell me that they wouldn't date a guy who was ok with them being a provider, in reality they wanted to stop and be with one guy, they considered guys that were ok with it as weak.

[BBW Katrina]

Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates

I have had ladies tell me that they wouldn't date a guy who was ok with them being a provider, in reality they wanted to stop and be with one guy, they considered guys that were ok with it as weak.

+1

[Julietravelgal]

I personally choose to Not be in a relationship b/c of your points, all of which are valid OldT. Right now I am not a mother, do not have a family, but am in school full time that I pay for myself, no student loans or financial aid. OldT does have a point with number 1~ where the girl does not make as much money as the guy would seem to think. I am honest and open with all my friends as well as family with what I do. however I still struggle with medical bills, household bill (have a roommate) and traveling while going to school full time. (Online is not an option)
I do also have another job at school and do modeling (suicide girls) however neither pay very much and the modeling is way more hassle than it is worth. Having painted on tattoo's, traveling 3-4 hours to a shoot to work all day for what I could make in a hour or two at home.
I wish you all the luck in the world dreamvacationdate, but I can say that I meet 1 out of I don't know how many GREAT guys on here that help me out in ways I can't imagine. And to point out one more thing. I also meet tons of people at school and that is where I get most of my social interaction. Go to school. If you are smart enough to run your own business here then you are smart enough to get a degree in the STEM program (science, math, technology, or engineering).
I'm not going to argue with what OldT says as it seems to be somewhat on the point, however you to dreamgirl have a very valid point. I hope this info helps and I hope to see you saying you got a degree, or if you have already obtained one, another one, one day on this board! I will personally throw you a party!

[ncrtt1]

Well written Julie,

and having had the pleasure of your company in San Antonio, it seems to me that you would be an easy lady for me to get to liking way too much, simply because of your drive which makes you even more like the person I would want to be with, if my situation was such that the option was there. Our nice brunch afterwards was a great way to end our time together, and you are a most admirable girl. But with my work and travel and general situation, there is no place at present for another lady, but if I was ever in the right place to do so, someone like you Julie would be a great place to start finding the right place because you are not waiting to be handed something, but actively seeking the future. Inevitably, there will be a time when this hobby won't be such an option as it is when youth is till at hand.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Julietravelgal

I personally choose to Not be in a relationship b/c of your points, all of which are valid OldT. Right now I am not a mother, do not have a family, but am in school full time that I pay for myself, no student loans or financial aid. OldT does have a point with number 1~ where the girl does not make as much money as the guy would seem to think. I am honest and open with all my friends as well as family with what I do. however I still struggle with medical bills, household bill (have a roommate) and traveling while going to school full time. (Online is not an option)
I do also have another job at school and do modeling (suicide girls) however neither pay very much and the modeling is way more hassle than it is worth. Having painted on tattoo's, traveling 3-4 hours to a shoot to work all day for what I could make in a hour or two at home.
I wish you all the luck in the world dreamvacationdate, but I can say that I meet 1 out of I don't know how many GREAT guys on here that help me out in ways I can't imagine. And to point out one more thing. I also meet tons of people at school and that is where I get most of my social interaction. Go to school. If you are smart enough to run your own business here then you are smart enough to get a degree in the STEM program (science, math, technology, or engineering).
I'm not going to argue with what OldT says as it seems to be somewhat on the point, however you to dreamgirl have a very valid point. I hope this info helps and I hope to see you saying you got a degree, or if you have already obtained one, another one, one day on this board! I will personally throw you a party!

Very nicely said, Julie.

[Guest070818-1]

Originally Posted by Julietravelgal

I personally choose to Not be in a relationship b/c of your points, all of which are valid OldT. Right now I am not a mother, do not have a family, but am in school full time that I pay for myself, no student loans or financial aid. OldT does have a point with number 1~ where the girl does not make as much money as the guy would seem to think. I am honest and open with all my friends as well as family with what I do. however I still struggle with medical bills, household bill (have a roommate) and traveling while going to school full time. (Online is not an option)
I do also have another job at school and do modeling (suicide girls) however neither pay very much and the modeling is way more hassle than it is worth. Having painted on tattoo's, traveling 3-4 hours to a shoot to work all day for what I could make in a hour or two at home.
I wish you all the luck in the world dreamvacationdate, but I can say that I meet 1 out of I don't know how many GREAT guys on here that help me out in ways I can't imagine. And to point out one more thing. I also meet tons of people at school and that is where I get most of my social interaction. Go to school. If you are smart enough to run your own business here then you are smart enough to get a degree in the STEM program (science, math, technology, or engineering).
I'm not going to argue with what OldT says as it seems to be somewhat on the point, however you to dreamgirl have a very valid point. I hope this info helps and I hope to see you saying you got a degree, or if you have already obtained one, another one, one day on this board! I will personally throw you a party!

Yay! You and I are in the same boat. I'm also a single student with no kids. I'm also Paying off my medical bills and student debt. It's easy for me to keep a social life outside of this, but I'm very picky of who I let in my "inner circle". It's also really weird when my friends talk about prostitutes and hookers...it makes my stomache churn a little because I am reminded of the reality of the "profession" that I have chose (for now).

[Lucyny]

As for the first question, I'm hoping the skills I learn in this business (presentation, interpersonal relations, communication) will help me at the next desk job I apply for--I feel in just three weeks I've picked up on a lot of stuff I'll be able to use. (What can I say--I was keeping to myself and reading fantasy novels while my classmates were figuring all of that stuff out. Now I can actually pay the rates where, for instance, a makeup counter girl will find exactly the thing I need and teach me how to apply it. And it's even an investment! Win!)


As for the second... my husband was the one who initially suggested providing as an option, and I think he really enjoys the idea of me keeping company with strangers. (We'd already been swingers.) So I'm pretty lucky on that count, I think.

As for more general relationships--I'm spending a fairly small amount of time providing, so it hasn't affected my existing relationships at all yet. Let it continue to be true.